Here’s an apt article from The New York Times by Lisa Heffernan (of the popular “Grown and Flown” blog) and writer/TV commentator Jennifer Breheny Wallace about the perils of navigating freshman waters. Most of you are already aware that college life can be more complex (and dangerous) today than when Wally Cleaver went off to State many decades ago (and probably since your own college days as well). So this helpful piece offers advice from an assortment of pros on how to deal with the potential hurdles ahead.
While some of the counsel may be predictable (“Discussing your expectations around alcohol, both before and after your teen leaves for college, has been shown to protect against increased use”), I particularly liked the mention of the importance of seeking assistance if a roommate appears to have mental health problems. In fact, my “Ask the Dean” inbox is full of questions and concerns about how a student should cope when the roomie can’t … and it’s a topic worth considering before students move into their dorms.
I don’t think going off to college today is any more inherently complex or dangerous than it was for Wally Cleaver in 1963 or for someone attending in the 1980s or 1990s. What basis is there for believing that? Wally and the 1980s grad were also going away from home for the first time and living with people they don’t know with a completely different set of norms. Alcohol and sex existed then, too. If anything, the 1960s had the concepts of free love and open drug experimentation without all of the social and behavioral science research and insight we currently have into problem drinking, adverse drug behavior, sexual assault and mental health.
For example, hospitalizations for alcohol may have increased. It could be because the binge-drinkers are going to new extremes, but I think it’s more likely that college residential life staff are better trained to see the signs for binge drinking and are more likely to transport or encourage students to go to the hospital than they were in prior years. The age of first sex has actually increased over time, not decreased. There’s no reason to believe that the likelihood for sexual assault has increased in recent years, simply that we’ve been talking more about it.
“I don’t think going off to college today is any more inherently complex or dangerous than it was for Wally Cleaver in 1963 or for someone attending in the 1980s or 1990s. What basis is there for believing that?”
Agreed. It’s a whole lot easier to stay in touch with home, too.
The only way college life is more complex now, IMHO, is that campuses are by and large more diverse. Chances are, Wally Cleaver could expect to find only other middle-class white males in his dorm at Mayfield State. He didn’t have to think much about anybody else’s experience.
“Chances are, Wally Cleaver could expect to find only other middle-class white males in his dorm at Mayfield State. He didn’t have to think much about anybody else’s experience.”
Now a days he would likely be in the minority. On most campuses women outnumber men and like you mentioned the overall diversity is much different today. I think one of the major differences is that students are made so hyper aware. Most universities I know have orientations and on line courses dealing with these issues. While there was more separation of the sexes when I was in college there were no orientations or seminars beyond school and dorm rules. I also believe students come to college more stressed. Getting into a university is much more competitive than it was in my day. When I applied you either qualified or you didn’t. I don’t remember having to have perfect grades, perfect ACT scores and a litany of extra curricular activities and leadership positions just to get into the state flagship. Today kids have the advantage of being connected to their family and friends nearly 24/7.
I take no issue with any of the suggestions the article makes. They are as wise today as they would have been 50 years ago. I don’t think that the challenges are any greater today though.
Add me to the group that doesn’t think college is more complex or dangerous than it was when I went to school in the 1980s. I think the article points out how wise it is to talk with your kids about potential issues in college but I really don’t think that the issues are that different than they were in the past.
I don’t know if it is or isn’t more dangerous. Maybe a little different? From what I’ve read, there are many more students that are struggling with mental health issues. Or perhaps, we are more aware of that these days, and it is more acceptable to be open about it and seek help. Certainly there were a lot of overstressed and anxious kids at school when I went in the 70’s. One student at my first college ran through a glass door in the middle of the night. Binge drinking, from what I gather, is maybe more widespread, more extreme? And yet, I seem to remember at least a couple of students that flunked out first semester due to heavy drinking back in the 70’s. Maybe things are out in the open more. Maybe that’s the difference. If so, that is a good thing. One big difference from going to college back in the dark ages is the existence of cell phones and computers. I went to college and had to use a typewriter – no computers yet. Wow. I’m old. Haha, using a typewriter, having to use white out to correct mistakes. That was stressful!
Drinking, drugs and people with mental health issues all existed in colleges back then. As did rape etc, unfortunately. We just often weren’t aware of it (I went to Syracuse when author Alice Sebold is there and during the time when the incident covered in Lucky happened and I wasn’t aware of it at all). Lots of on-campus racism and other bad stuff happened too - but these things often weren’t discussed. If anything I think it’s better now for my kids, although I do agree that todays’ kids are somewhat more stressed than when my generation went to college.
I think the title “new risks” refers to the kids experiencing a new situation when they leave for college, not that it’s something that happening now that didn’t use to happen. Human nature hasn’t changed much.
@MotherOfDragons, you are totally correct, hadn’t read the article before I posted. Article is about the risks that are new for the kids leaving for colleges.
I and some other posters were reacting to the comment by OP: “Most of you are already aware that college life can be more complex (and dangerous) today than when Wally Cleaver went off to State many decades ago (and probably since your own college days as well).”
Freshmen have been dealing with these difficult issues for a long time, unfortunately.
I don’t think it’s more dangerous, I think generally the kids are less mature, have more issues coming in and are less street smart. Those are the kids that are at highest risk and that percentage is larger than when I was in college in the early seventies. If you were immature, had issues or were lacking in street smarts, generally if you had strong parents you stayed home and went to CC for two years or you didn’t go at all for a while. My parents kept a sib home at CC for two years because of “immaturity” despite graduating at the top of the high school class. Parents these days are far less lightly to make those tough decisions in my opinion and the kids land at college not able to cope as well.
My experience is somewhat different- my kids have done more, seen more, traveled more and learned more about the world than I ever had by the time of college. They also know a lot more about the dangers of the world- terrorism, date rape, drunk driving, than I did back then.
But I agree that not everyone went to college back then. I knew plenty of kids who joined the armed forces or went into the trades or just got jobs than my kids peers do. Now everyone is told that college is the only path so kids who might be happier in other places all get pushed to go to college and it just isn’t for everyone. And as was mentioned above, some kids aren’t ready at 18 but might be at 20, say…
But I don’t think today’s generation is less street smart or mature than when I entered college in 1980…
I was a naive nincompoop when I left for college. It’s a miracle something bad didn’t happen to me. My daughters, on the other hand, probably know TOO much, thanks to the internet.
I agree with @myjanda, I think today’s generation is pretty aware of what’s out there. They don’t always know how to put that awareness into practical usage though. That’s what Krav Maga self-defense classes are for.
(seriously, my kids and I know how to carve your eyeballs out with your own keys).
At 7, D told us that she and her best friend figured out everything except actual mechanism of sperm delivery. Few days later, she proudly said then she figured out everything.
Since then I just assumed D knows everything and talked about practically utilizing the information instead of giving her the information that she probably knows anyway. IMO, it is more important to discuss in details on how to handle situations.
@MotherOfDragons Krav maga - the Hebrew word for “kick them in the balls” ;).
Interesting article though. I think the most important thing a parent can do these days before sending their kids to college is talk to them about sexual situations - what’s right, and what isn’t. I know it must be uncomfortable and it seems like so much of it should be common sense, but it really seems like a lot of these issues could be solved with better understanding of the opposite sex, expectations, etc., that many 18 year olds just lack experience with.
We did a lot of very dumb things back in college. Thankfully, no one had the ability to record any of it. Tech/changes typically come with pluses and minuses.
I think “knowing about something” is different than knowing how to react or knowing how to handle a situation that you may very well “know about”. Lots of kids “know about” date rape drugs, but lots of kids were never at parties in high school where alcohol was present. so many never have to practice what they know about. Lots of kids “know about” the dangers of walking alone on dark streets or dark campuses, but knowing what to do when you leave the library or wherever at 1 AM is what is critical. Lots of kids “know about” the mechanics of sex and some dated, hooked-up and may even be sexually experienced in high school, but if you haven’t experienced those things “knowing about it” is different than “doing it and knowing how to handle yourself in the present.” That is no different than three decades ago, but kids have been more exposed to media than normalizes things that may not have been as normalized years ago. The potential dangers have not changed.
Exactly. And it’s not limited to kids.
Supposed that you are walking in a dark alley, and a stranger with a knife calls you to come to a corner. Chance is, you may go to him or more likely just freeze on the spot, instead of running back. That’s human instinct. That’s why kids still need training even though they learned everything on the web.
At the time of distress it’s very hard to figure out what to do. But training that seems like a common sense - run from the danger - can pay off in such situation where your brain nearly stops functioning and you don’t have the common sense.