<p>TexasSpg - I am not disputing that. I am sure that my parents would have stepped up if the need was there. And I have paid completely from my pocket for my kids education since we are not eligible for any financial aid. However, when they go to graduate school, I am expecting them to pay for it (atleast partially). Not because I cannot afford to pay for it but because I think that they need to learn to fend for themselves & for the choices that they make. When do you stop supporting them? I think we need to agree to disagree on this point.</p>
<p>A parent can cut their kids off at any level. </p>
<p>The discussion is not about when but what sacrifices they have made for the kids if needed.</p>
<p>All this talk about sacrifice by parents of Indian origin is somewhat laughable given they are the richest ethnic groups in the US.</p>
<p>[Indian</a> Americans Most Educated, Richest, Says Pew Report - New America Media](<a href=“new america media - My WordPress Blog”>new america media - My WordPress Blog)</p>
<p>I think it is mostly prestige and bragging rights within their community that make them want to a stretch a bit to send their kids to expensive private colleges.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Some of the more popular [fancy</a> cars](<a href=“http://www.teslamotors.com/]fancy”>http://www.teslamotors.com/) these days come from places other than Detroit.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>So people will think that they grew up in NJ and are afraid to say the R-word (Rutgers)?</p>
<p>^^ I totally agree with you, ucbalumnus!</p>
<p>(By the way, I never cared for cars new or old until I saw a model S in our local mall.)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>A few years ago I had a colleague who didn’t want any of us to know that he went to MIT. Those who knew had to keep it a secret and not bring it up during any casual conversation. Apparently, he couldn’t bear the pressure brought on by elevated expectations.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I have a close older friend who apparently had such bad memories of attending Princeton sometime in the '80s that he never mentioned it. Instead, he was so gung-ho about identifying with MIT where he got his engineering MS & PhD that all of his friends…including close ones thought he was MIT for everything…undergrad & grad. </p>
<p>When his younger sister later blurted out the fact he attended Princeton for undergrad during a random dinner conversation, his agitated reaction was as if his sister revealed a deeply embarrassing secret he wanted no one else to know.</p>
<p>Husky dad - not every Indian kid who goes to school here has a rich parent. Many are first generation students with parents in India. Bragging rights makes them stretch financially - really? Do you have some other sweeping statements to make without any facts to back them up. Your comments are what are laughable</p>
<p>Frankly, I think it is obnoxious when people act as if going to HYP or other elite schools is something that should be tactfully hidden from lesser mortals lest they be overwhelmed by the presence of genius.</p>
<p>I’m exaggerating, I know, but no matter how the person actually intends it, doing the whole “I went to school in New Jersey” thing is as likely as not to backfire and smacks of false modesty. The person you are speaking to will probably ask the natural follow-up of “what school,” at which point you will not only have to reveal your Ivy league credentials, but will look like a jerk for thinking where you went to college is such a big deal that humility requires that you hide it even when it comes up naturally in conversation.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Ah, the advantages of having my son attend a lessor-known school like Brown! I’ve been asked, “So he’s training to become a UPS driver?” ;)</p>
<p>
We do recruit at other NJ schools, like Stevens Institute of technology. I don’t think we’ve hired anyone from Rutgers yet.</p>
<p>
I think there is just a general hate (jealousy) of people who have gone to elite schools. Few posts before mine, people thought it was obnoxious for someone to mention he was admitted to Harvard. Now it is obnoxious not to be upfront about having gone to HYP. I feel bad for them. They can’t win. So glad I don’t have such problem (and my kids don’t either).</p>
<p>As far as Brown, hope people don’t take offense…Someone said to D2, “No respectable Chinese would go to a school with a name like Brown.” D2 thought that was not helpful.</p>
<p>“When his younger sister later blurted out the fact he attended Princeton for undergrad during a random dinner conversation, his agitated reaction was as if his sister revealed a deeply embarrassing secret he wanted no one else to know.”</p>
<p>Well, how stupid is that. Proves nothing other than this guy is weird.</p>
<p>And I agree with oldfort. If people weren’t so weird about their reactions to these schools, people wouldn’t have to resort to “I went to school in Boston” in the first place. </p>
<p>Actually, I do say “my D goes to school in Boston.” Relatively few everyday people would even know her school, so what’s the point of telling them? Few people follow up and ask “what school is that” because really, in real life, nobody cares all that much. They just care your kid is happy and healthy. I’m not “impressing” anybody with telling them about a school they don’t know or care about anyway. Shrug.</p>
<p>Ok, now I feel like I have to chime in. No question people in New Jersey don’t have the same feeling for Rutgers that some other people have for their flagship state universities. However, my son just graduated from RU and only had the choice between two six figure jobs.</p>
<p>^^^You go girl (assuming you are a mom). When your son does his first introduction at his new job, he can say, “I went to a school in NJ.”</p>
<p>"I think it is mostly prestige and bragging rights within their community that make them want to a stretch a bit to send their kids to expensive private colleges. "</p>
<p>The bragging rights and a dollar gets every Indian a coffee at McDonalds. I have tried it recently and it seems pretty good.</p>
<p>LI - does the Brown degree come with a trucker license? :p</p>
<p>A plug for Rutgers - I was at a college fair recently in Houston and I was talking a rep who was an alum. I was telling her they are not giving enough merit scholarships and people are joining schools like Temple from NJ because of the full tuition rides.</p>
<p>She mentioned her son, a resident of Texas, got financial aid from Rutgers and graduated with little debt.</p>
<p>My Prius has 100,000 miles. I see no reason to upgrade because it’s working great, and the batteries are under warranty until 150,000. My D went to flagship U and it was fabulous for her. We’re middle class so we do have to make choices between older cars and newer ones, private U’s and public ones. However, I am not crying in my beer- I don’t feel sorry for us and feel like somehow we got ripped off because we can’t afford a Tesla and USC. Actually we could have had those if we wanted, but we would have had to either use our nest egg or go into debt. I would prefer to enter my golden years with a nice cushion. This way D will get a nice chunk of money down the road for a house or grad school or whatever. I don’t feel the system owes me a private school education and a fancy car. If those things had been important to me, I wouldn’t have become a college professor with summers off. I like dogs, books, wine, and travel. I can afford all those. I spend several years in Australia, long enough to know that a Fosters and some shrimp on the barbie at the beach on a hot summer day is about as good as it gets. Whether you went to School A or School B hardly matters in the long run unless that’s what you choose to be the measure of your life.</p>
<p>Smack between hiding one’s alma mater and being obnoxious about it, there is something called balance. Both extremes are silly. In today’s world of google+ and linkedin, online rėsumės are the norm, and most people know where their coworkers went to school. There is no need to wear the Veritas bowtie to work, but neither is there a need to make efforts to hide your education.</p>
<p>I wonder if Cobrat’s cousins also remove the Armani labels and insert a Men’s Warehouse one in their clothes. Or cut the little Mephisto label off their shoes?</p>