Gaming addiction isn’t limited to male adults though it may take a different form.
Several friends have recounted witnessing/taking part in the firing of female adult professionals for gaming addictions in the workplace. In all those cases, it was gaming on their smartphones to the point they weren’t giving sufficient attention to their work tasks or they were caught red-handed playing when they should have been working by their supervisors.
As an aside, while this wasn’t an issue back when I worked my first jobs a few years after undergrad, some of my past work environments would have effectively headed off this problem as due to their concerns over information security and corporate/client confidentiality, all personal electronics…including laptops and smartphones had to be checked in upon entering the corporate office/worksite and can only be accessed if one took their lunch/breaks outside or upon leaving the office/worksite at the end of the workday. And workplace computers and phones were locked down and could only be used for work related matters. Even personal calls/emails to one’s family were banned from workphones/computers and violation could result in one’s immediate termination.
“I am a gamer surrounded by other hardcore gamers. My grown spouse has a gaming room in our basement and one of my best friends used to be a pro in e-sports (while he was going to, and almost flunking out of, Purdue as a CS major). I absolutely, 100% promise that there is nothing that can be taken away that will prevent gaming if the son wants to game. It is not hard to overcome any barriers.”
I get that, but by the same token, if your kid had problems drinking, you wouldn’t send him to college with a 6-pack of his favorite beer and a bottle of his favorite vodka. You can’t remove all temptation or access, but you don’t need to actively facilitate it, either. A computer is necessary - there is no getting around that – but a videogame system simply isn’t necessary. It’s entertainment.
It’s no more necessary than, say, a television. Many of us didn’t allow our kids to have TVs in their rooms – not because they had “problems” controlling their TV-watching – but why facilitate a habit that keeps them in their rooms and makes it easy to not pay attention to studies? There’s just no point. There will be good distractions on campus – the guys down the hall tossing the frisbee in the quad, etc. No need to load them up with the bad distractions.
The trouble is that my kids actually prefer the computer games to the console games. So there’s not getting away from the “bad” distractions. I think your best bet is to get them to learn to self-regulate in high school and talk about how it’s even more important in college and out in the real world. And while there’s certainly minuses to your dorm room being game central - it is the way a lot of kids make friends. My oldest would never play frisbee, even without games - he’s too much of a klutz. I don’t think games are necessarily a bad distraction if you do them in moderation.
One thing about hardcore computer gamers IME…they tend to feel the need to get themselves the latest and greatest in terms of processors, GPUs, RAM, hard drive, motherboards, etc.
Whereas an average user whose computing needs are mainly office applications and light internet usage would be content with a desktop machine which cost $600 or often much less, most hardcore gamers are likely to spend a minimum of $1500-2000 and often much more for a custom built desktop. And they tend to replace/swap out computers every 2 years or in a few cases…every year.
And if they insist on a “gaming laptop” despite its compromises in performance, cooling, portability, etc…they’re likely going to spend ~$2500-4000 and up for a machine which won’t match the performance of higher end custom gaming desktops they could build/pay computer techs to build for far less.
I wouldn’t forbid it, that seems a bit over the top. I would however, suggest that he leave the console at home just till Thanksgiving or winter break to help him make sure he is spending enough time meeting people and doing homework etc. My guess is using this logic, he will never take it.
My gamer was a Call of Duty 10th Prestige Master ranked player - or some funky name like that - and there were just a few in the entire country at the time, (which I learned when the company invited him to some competition in LA, I was so proud, lol). Anyway, he went off to college for his CS/Engineering program without his console and never looked back. Instead, he got into assembling these super computers while writing programs, and now has 3 video monitors, none less than 32" across his desk in his apartment. Looks like flippin’ NASA in there. Point is, he focused his gaming energy into other CS ventures, that frankly, I don’t understand, but he has an amazing internship this year, so I think it is working. Don’t make it a big deal, just make a suggestion to take it later if he thinks he needs it.
My kiddo paid for his gaming computers with the money he made at his amazing internships.
He spent enough time not gaming to get hired for his dream job. He doesn’t spend his free time the way I would spend my free time, but it’s his life to live not mine.
One of my younger brother’s best employees took a couple of years off work gaming full time. They were a bit leary about hiring her, but it’s worked out great.
I agree with most of the comments and approaches mentioned in this thread. Again, thank you for providing your anecdotes. I will share this discussion with the parents of the roommate and as suggeseted, and possibly have a group discussion at some point if needed. Both boys are engineering majors and have a lot to lose if they don’t get good grades freshman year.
My son has a powerful gaming laptop with Steam and very enhanced capabilities. I realize I cannot control that whatsoever. It is the gaming system that I think will add a level of distraction with multiple players and noise that can in fact be limited by not having the systems in their room.
I just remembered a funny conversation with D that might be relevant. One of her good guy friends from high school is attending the same university. Every once in a while I ask her if they hang out, or if she ever drops by his dorm room. She always makes a face and says no, he and his roommates are always playing video games.
So add “girl repellent” to the list of downsides for male gamers.
That’s changing as more girls/women are hardcore gamers. There were already some when I was in HS and it’s much more so nowadays.
And some friends have already witnessed/taken part in the firing of female adult professions as old as 30-40 somethings for allowing hardcore gaming to detract/completely distract them from doing their jobs at work.
It also depends on the type/genre of games being played. It’s very possible gaming will attract the hardcore female gamers which will facilitate one aspect of compatibility.
However, some gaming genres(i.e. first person shooters) and the associated sub-cultures do need to change to avoid repelling female gamers.
As a flip side to anomader’s post: I walked around my dorm one weekend night looking for people to hang out with who weren’t out partying. Found a group of guys gaming and asked if I could join in. Ended up marrying one of them and most of the rest were in our wedding party
Oh I know. I used to be a hardcore world of warcraft raider. There were always a few women on the various teams I played with over the years. It’s definitely more the exception than the rule though, Maybe gamer guys like the self-selection of attracting gamer women though, who knows?
I think it’s safe to say that whether he has his own PS4 at college or not, he will find a way to play video games. And that’s fine, as long as it doesn’t impact his academics. I go to Carnegie Mellon and have plenty of friends who play video games -and in some cases play them much more than they probably should. Some of them are in very difficult majors. Most of them are able to keep their grades up.
I don’t think it’s a matter of playing video games or not. A PS4 is just one means of doing so. I think the real issue is whether or not he wants his dorm room to become the floor’s unofficial game room, which I’ve seen happen a lot with students who have a gaming console (and often times a big TV to go with it).
msd228 wrote, “My son has a powerful gaming laptop with Steam and very enhanced capabilities. I realize I cannot control that whatsoever. It is the gaming system that I think will add a level of distraction with multiple players and noise that can in fact be limited by not having the systems in their room.”
I admit I know almost nothing about gamers/gaming. My kids were all very casual players, and never really got into video gaming beyond the Madden NFL games on a Wii console. But, I think I would lean towards preferring a game system with multiple players over the solo computer. At least they would be socializing and getting to know other people in their dorm. The computer games seem like they could be so isolating.
Gaming too much can definitely get students into academic trouble, but a lot of kids drop out of college because they never connect and they aren’t happy. Freshman year in the dorms is the best time to meet that core group of friends that stay together all four years.
I know of several guys that flunked out of Engineering, where gaming seemed a factor. (Engineering is HARD, so i’t possible that they had might have had same outocome w/o gaming, but it’s certainly a temptation when homework is overwhelming). I had a girl drop out of Engineering, w/o gaming factor … but the roommate falling asleep with the TV on (and remote in her hand) was a sleep interruption factor.
Sure, the son will find other places to game. But at least that will be a social event. Too many students hide in their own room gaming alone. I heard about one mom that felt so bad for her lonely, unhappy son that she bought him even more gaming equipment from home to cheer his spirits…sigh.
This isn’t limited to engineering majors. I’ve known of undergrads in other majors who flunked out or came close to doing so because of excessive gaming.
Heck, I knew of several older kids from my old NYC neighborhood who flunked/dropped out of high school and ended up serving serious time* because of their videogaming addictions. In fact, this factor was one reason why many parents in my old NYC neighborhood associated video gaming with juvenile delinquency and dropping out of high school.
Mugging people and burglarizing homes/businesses for money/gaming console equipment to support their gaming habits.
This reminds me of the scene in Harry Potter where Remus Lupin unleashes a boggart. The boggart takes the shape of whatever the kid fears the most, and I think in this instance the gaming system is the boggart, in the sense that it doesn’t really matter what form it is, it’s what it represents (instrument for failing at school).
For all of you worrying about whether your kid will spend too much time playing games, imagine my dilemma — my son is about to start his freshman year as a Game Design major. Telling him to not spend too much time on games sort of defeats the whole purpose. So far my only requirement is that he at least take enough hard-core CS classes to get a regular programming job when he graduates in case this gaming thing doesn’t pan out. I keep reminding him there is a different between liking candy and working in a candy factory, but so far it hasn’t sunk in.
