Freshman year: surviving but not thriving; take a gap year?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My son is a freshman at a small engineering school. His academic performance has been disappointing. He is clearly learning the material, and does fine on the tests. Unfortunately his homework has been very inconsistent. When he does the assignments, he does fine, but often he just doesn’t do the work. His attendance at lab sessions has been spotty. Those two factors are contributing to mediocre grades. He is, however, still in “good” academic standing.</p>

<p>He has ADD (Predominately Inattentive) and some learning disabilities, for which he receives accommodations. He has “disorder of written expression”/dysgraphia, and has very slow processing speed. We’ve been very pleased with the level of support the school has provided him. In addition to the classroom accommodations (note taker, extra time on tests), he meets twice weekly with an academic coach in the disability services office.</p>

<p>I believe that his LDs and a lack-of-maturity/readiness-for-college are both contributing to his mediocre performance. He has always been a bit immature. When he was in elementary school, I felt that he was about 1 ½ years behind his classmates. I think he closed that gap somewhat during middle school and high school, but he still wasn’t especially self-sufficient as he set off for college. His “time-management” skills are also very poor.</p>

<p>I am concerned that if his grades next year continue as they have been, he will do irreparable damage to his GPA (currently 2.3), and it will impact his ability to get a job after he graduates. I also feel that he may not be getting full value out of his education, although I could be wrong about this, since he does appear to be learning the material. He just doesn’t have the GPA to show it.</p>

<p>So we are considering a gap year, to give him a chance to mature. When I first mentioned the idea to my son of “withdrawing” for a year, he didn’t like it at all. About a week later we talked about it again. He then referred to it as a “gap year”, and seemed more open to the idea. He far prefers the idea of continuing college next fall, but he is no longer completely opposed to the gap year idea. </p>

<p>So I’m hoping some of you wise CC-ers can share some of your wisdom/experience with me. Does anyone have any experience with a gap year taken after freshman year? What did the student do during the gap year?</p>

<p>Thanks for your input!</p>

2

<p>Before making a decision, it might be helpful if both you and your son could meet together with his academic coach. That could give you some perspective on how he was doing in relation to other freshmen, who may also be struggling to adjust to college.</p>

3

<p>Thanks, mamakin, that’s a good point. We have met with his academic coach, and also the director of Disability Services. Their perspective is that he has grown a lot since the beginning of the year. They seem to feel that his “readiness” is still an area of concern, but they didn’t come right out and say that he isn’t ready.</p>

<p>When I mentioned the gap year idea, the directory of DS said that she would consider it to be a “medical” withdrawal, provided he got a note from his doctor justifying that classification. This tells me that she considers the LD to be a contributing factor also.</p>

4

<p>My daughter came home after her first year away. Her GPA was better than your sons but she was not an engineering major. We were not pleased with her GPA or her social adjustment to college (alot of parties). She too has ADHD (inattentive type) and struggles with organization and meeting deadlines in an efficient manner. The school was surprised that we were requesting a withdrawal based on her performance but we saw the train wreck coming.</p>

<p>She enrolled in the CC and this May after completing close to 45 credits, she will walk in the graduation. She will complete some summer classes this summer. Why do I make it a point of telling you this…because a year ago I never thought my daughter would have arrived at this place so quickly. She is being treated for depression (medication and therapy) and ADHD. I will not tell you that there is a great change in her organizational abilities, but with the help of myself, and my husband we are able to keep her on task. This is not obviously what we expected for our college age daughter but it is working and she is smiling. She has made the high honor role both semesters and will attend a state school in Sept. She will continue to live at home so that she can continue to grow and mature while completing her degree. Again, this is not what we considered growing and maturing before she went off to her school, however, she really has blossomed far more than she did when she was away at school and sinking in so many areas. </p>

<p>Could your son attend a school closer to home so that he can successfully complete his degree? I am not sure what a gap year would do for a kid that just can’t pull it all together on their own. I am sure that there are many parents who would say that at this point he needs to sink or swim but I do not feel that way. They need to succeed and if it requires our help to do so than that is what being a parent is all about. I will celebrate when she walks in May because I know what it took this past year to see her get there. But the greatest joy has been in seeing her happy and adjusted and loving again. She just could not handle all the demands of being on her own in college. </p>

<p>Ask your son how he would feel about attending a state school (one that he could commute to may not be a bad idea). I wish your son the very best and you much patience. I am not going to tell you the first few months were easy, but it was worth every difficult decision we had to make.</p>

5

<p>Off topic, but did you know in advance that the school would make an academic coach available to your son? My son desparately needs one. The school website has a page for Academic Coaching that says:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>However, when I asked for academic coaching for Son, the guy in charge said, “well, I’ll see if the peer mentor assigned to him has some more time” and she didn’t and that was that.</p>

<p>He’s leaving the school but I’m trying to figure out how to find out if academic coaching is REALLY available at the next school.</p>

6

<p>DragonLady,
I’ll tell a different story. My ADD inattentive (not engineering) child had a slow starting first semester and an abyssmal second semester. The school put him on suspension after the spring semester, but gave an in residence summer opportunity to pull grades to probationary status.</p>

<p>We (H and I) had gut wrenching discussions about whether to allow this opportunity. Our child told us of the wish to try. We decided to give our trust and let the decision to sever come from the school.</p>

<p>This child continued to mull through, repeating 3 courses for better grades, going summers and the non manditory January terms, and much phone and IM contact from us. We were likely the proudest parents at the ‘On time, over budget’ graduation!</p>

<p>My point is that you need to know your child to make the best decision.</p>

7

<p>My son’s social adjustment has been ok. He has always been an “odd duck”, and he is in good company at this school :). He hasn’t made any ‘close’ friends, but he has people to hang out with, and roommates lined up for next year. He is definitely not a partier.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I feel like he is ‘succeeding at college’ in many ways, his GPA just doesn’t show it.</p>

<p>Throughout high school (and earlier) I helped him ‘manage’ his school work. I tried to decrease my role in the process, as quickly as I could, without letting him sink. As the end of senior year approached, I was concerned that he wasn’t quite ‘there’ yet, but he definitely did show progress over the years. I guess I’m trying to say that I am still hopeful that he can assume the ‘managing’ role eventually. I really don’t want to be the homework police again.</p>

<p>We really like the school he is at. It is a great fit for him, and he really wants to be there. It was his 1st choice since we visited it in his Jr year. And they have been very supportive, far more so than I expected.</p>

<p>I agree with your position on “sink or swim”. He would have sunk years ago. As it is, I remain tentatively hopeful…</p>

<p>Congratulations on your daughters success! It sounds like you have a plan for future success, one that works for everyone. I firmly believe that many students don’t fit the traditional trajectory, or schedule. It is up to us, as parents, to recognize the roadblocks are kids face, and help them navigate a new route to their destination.</p>

8

<p>Engineering programs are tough and usually students have far more problems with the tests than they do with the homeworks and labs. The labs are about showing up on time, following directions to get the lab done and writing the lab report. Homework is often better done with study groups but the student has to set aside time everyday to do it and doing that for multiple engineering classes can be hard.</p>

<p>It sounds like the school is doing a very good job being accommodating and that your son isn’t doing that bad a job considering his disabilities but he needs a little help in organization. and maybe writing for lab reports. It might be easier if there were someone to keep an eye on his schedule and deliverables and remind him of what he needs to get done. That might be something that can happen if living at home or if there were a coach or parent living with him on campus or some kind of remote communications.</p>

<p>A solution is to send him to a nearby state university with parent coaches which I’d usually suggest but, in this case, he’s not doing that badly where he is which makes the decision harder. Do you have something in mind for him to do during the gap year that would improve on the problem areas?</p>

9

<p>Hi missiepie, I’ve been following your story on the 2013 thread. It is terrible how that school has treated your son, and after all of their assurances to the contrary.</p>

<p>Yes, I did know about the academic coach. Before S enrolled there we met with the DSO people several times, including the person who was initially his coach. (He now has a different coach, but they have assured me that he will stay with her for the rest of the time.) We also secured his accommodations beforehand.</p>

<p>I had been leaning towards some LACs (from CTCL) because I thought he might get better support there than at an engineering school. I have been very pleasantly surprised with the level of support he has received. And the professors are willing to communicate with me directly (son signed a waiver).</p>

<p>On another note, my S has a friend with AS. The boy struggled mightily in high school, but is doing ok (not great, but ok) at Elizabethtown College (in PA). He has an academic coach, the former director of their DSO.</p>

10

<p>

</p>

<p>Yep, our school has a similar program. Son is actually still in ‘good’ standing, but will probably take the summer ‘study skills’ course, plus some other courses.</p>

<p>My concern with just letting him continue to mull through, is that he won’t be able to get a job afterwards. Prospective employers don’t have much to judge the applicants by, so I imagine the GPA is considered pretty important.</p>

11

<p>The GPA is important but then so is everything else… prior work experience, internships, research, EC involvement, etc. So the Gap year is a good idea if it allows your son to build his skills in non-academic areas… but a potentially bad idea if all you’re doing is delaying the moment at which he has to sink or swim on his own.</p>

<p>How does he do on non-academic tasks? Does he have a job now or is he planning one for the summer? Can he meet deadlines, work on group projects, etc? All of these are just as important to prospective employers as his GPA.</p>

12

<p>

His CS professor told me that most students struggle with the tests, and that is why she weights the homeworks and labs (just showing up) more heavily, to help those students offset poor test grades. It has just the opposite effect for my son. He got the highest grade in the class on the mid-term, but if he doesn’t do the ‘busywork’ (her words), he’ll still get the mediocre grade.</p>

<p>

That is what the academic coach is doing. He meets with her twice a week, and they go over what he has done, and what he needs to do. The problem arises back in his room, when there is no one to say, “You need to do it <<<<now>>>>”.</now></p>

<p>

Not exactly sure. I guess I’m thinking of the gap year as a way to address the lack of maturity, not the LDs. Things I’m considering: work at some awful job, take a few CC courses, volunteer locally, volunteer for some national organization (Habitat…).</p>

<p>Another thing I’ve looked into a bit is Landmark College. They have a semester program for ‘visiting college students’, to help them learn to manage their disabilities.</p>

13

<p>

</p>

<p>He hasn’t had a job yet. He is unlikely to get one this summer either. He will most likely be taking some classes during the summer term (May-early July), and by then I’m pretty sure all of the jobs will be gone. I think we may have this problem every summer. He is taking a ‘reduced course load’, so he may be taking summer courses every year, to pick up some of the slack.</p>

<p>With a bad GPA, I am not optimistic about his chances for research and internships.</p>

<p>He does best in group projects. He can deliver a great work product, provided someone else is managing the schedule. I just don’t know how the prospective employer will know that though.</p>

14

<p>DragonLady, </p>

<p>The semester at Landmark could be very good for your son. If he does take a gap year, he and you should make a plan so that he can address his organization deficits. There’s no sense just waiting a year and hoping he’ll be better at organization, because unfortunately, he probably won’t.</p>

15

<p>

Excellent point.</p>

16

<p>Wow, the summer program at Landmark College sounds great…anybody wanna give me $6000?</p>

17

<p>It does sound good doesn’t it? We are also considering that for this summer (vs taking some courses at his college, plus study skills).</p>

<p>If it helps him get more value out of next year’s college tuition, it is well worth it, in my opinion.</p>

18

<p>Does anyone know if 529 money could be spent on Landmark’s program if doing the non-credit option?</p>

19

<p>I have been to Landmark and I am not so sure the OP’s son (engineering student) would be too happy there. It is a great school for the right type of student but I am not sure her son needs that much service.</p>

20

<p>Maybe you, CF and I need to all go out and buy lottery tickets today and if we win, all of our sons will go to Landmark this summer (while we enjoy a resort somewhere nearby.)</p>