Freshman year: surviving but not thriving; take a gap year?

Parent Cafe
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I understand that their main target audience is kids with LDs who are academically unprepared for college after high school. They go to Landmark for 2 years, then transfer to a 4 year school. My son does not fit that demographic, his academic foundation is strong.</p>

<p>But their summer program and their semester-long program for ‘visiting college students’ seems to focus on teaching the students strategies for dealing with their disabilities. Does that sound right to you, momma-three?</p>

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An interesting question, missypie. If you were to find out more about this, I’d like to hear about it :).</p>

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Sounds great!</p>

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<p>Sorry I should have read more carefully…You are speaking about going for the summer. That could be an interesting alternative. Are there any Landmark parents on the forum?</p>

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<p>I too was concerned that the Landmark program might not be academically suitable for Fang Jr, though the support sounds ideal for him. But if Missyson and DragonBoy are there, he’d fit right in.</p>

<p>And if they do what they say, the money would be worth it.</p>

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<p>I am amazed that you think a 2.3 GPA with high test marks in engineering freshman years shows a lack of success. That is not bad at all! He is with a bunch of engineers and is a bit above average in his GPA. 2.0 is a C average, right? Gosh. What is happening out there in grade land? His marks will rise over the next few years. He has friends to live with, great support, likes his school, passed his freshman classes??? Sounds like fabulous success to me. Jeepers. The engineers I knew back in the 70’s struggled to pass anything and were grateful for C’s! Engineering school is a different animal compared to high school. Don’t look for the same grades for heaven’s sake! And - if he gets his degree, he’ll probably get a job. Most engineers know how hard it is just to accomplish the degree!</p>

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Maybe you’re right, maybe I am expecting too much. But when I see him get a C in a class he should have gotten an A in (due to not doing 3 of the 11 assignments), I worry. I hope you are right that his marks will improve. And, for the record, he did fail 2 classes, which he has since retaken - C’s in both.</p>

<p>Thanks for your perspective!</p>

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<p>DragonLady, your intuition is correct. Your son is not struggling in his classes because he doesn’t grasp the academic material. He’s struggling because he isn’t doing the work. This will only get worse, as the material gets harder and he needs to study more.</p>

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<p>Yep, that’s my worry!</p>

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<p>And you’re right to be worried. His problem, I expect, is planning, scheduling, managing his time and following through. (Sound familiar, Missypie?)</p>

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<p>Our son had a lot of organizational and health problems (we didn’t apply anywhere because we didn’t know if he could attend college and then he got much better after all the deadlines had passed). I got him an apartment on campus with room for me and I saw him daily and made worked with him on the organizational stuff. I also managed to convince him to use the tutoring center - he was very resistant to asking for help for a while. He learned to manage his own organizational stuff without me late in the first semester. He’s big on the electronic todo list.</p>

<p>I think that this setup is extremely rare because it is such a headache to do but parents and siblings know the students the best and what they need. The hope is that they will eventually take the ball and run with it. Some just need more time than high-school with the organizational stuff.</p>

<p>My sister was interested in Landmark and I’ve certainly heard their ads. Her son has problems (sister was vague) and didn’t do well in his first try at college. He’s very bright and learns quickly but has massive organizational problems and can’t prioritize. She ultimately didn’t send him to Landmark (I don’t know why) and he’s taking a few CC courses living in his own apartment.</p>

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<p>BCEagle91 -</p>

<p>I’ve been reading this thread with interest, as I have a son who struggled with organizational problems all through high school (and before, too). He’s now a freshman in college with a low B average. Part of my son’s problem is that he lacks the mental discipline and self confidence to push on when he runs into obstacles – either in comprehension or managing his time. </p>

<p>My question to you is this, and I recognize that it may be too simplistic-- do you feel that your son had a eureka moment, or moments, when the suggestions, help, and tools for success finally made sense to him and he was able to make use of them to do well? Or do you feel that it was just the day-in and day-out repetition of the help that you and others provided that it eventually made all the coping tools second nature to him?</p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

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<p>He took college course before matriculating and one in particular had a massive amount of lab work so he knew that individual courses could be a lot of work but he had us to remind him of labs, homeworks, upcoming tests, etc. In college the amount of work was somewhat overwhelming as he had three math/science courses, learning to navigate the classes, understanding the professors, dealing with large lecture halls, dealing with assignments with different durations, etc. His school is more of a sink or swim place - advising isn’t all that good. Little things like your keycard not working so that you couldn’t get into the lab room can make life difficult - especially if you have to travel to another campus to get it resolved.</p>

<p>He felt constantly under pressure and had several near misses on homeworks, lab reports, etc. I somewhat expected this and set up Google Calendar (or maybe Yahoo Calendar) to list out due dates for assignments and would ask him if he had homework and if so, when was it due. The calendar also had classroom times, room numbers, course names and the names of the professors. I would remind him of due dates on
a regular basis and sometimes on milestones for longer-term stuff. I was always available
by email or phone if he needed me to look something up. He developed an online todo list which I had access to and I kept an eye on it comparing it to the calendar. Gradually he became much better at recording deliverables and at working on milestones. Towards the end of the semester, I stopped recording assignments, homeworks, etc. I still do make out the semester calendar for both of the kids putting in the classroom time, holidays, exams, deadlines, etc. I don’t think that they use the calendars very much but it’s useful for me as I know where they are during the day.</p>

<p>He eventually got to the point where he wants to get as much done as soon as possible so that he can relax. If he has something pending, he takes care of it and then relaxes when everything is under control.</p>

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<p>The obstacle thing can be a hard issue. Many students have trouble asking for help - I think that many did fine in high school without help or maybe that asking for help is a sign of weakness. I asked him to see the tutoring center for maybe five weeks before he would go to see them. Sometimes they would answer his question and other times they would just give him the Teachers Edition when they couldn’t answer it. He became pretty comfortable going there after the first few times. He did go to office hours because he liked chatting with professors but one of his difficult courses had hundreds of students and seeing the professor was near impossible.</p>

<p>I’ve given him a ton of advice on college over the years and have repeated myself over and over and over. Eventually some of it sticks. It sticks better if he tries it and it works. I think that it was the repetition and getting him to try solutions that he, for whatever reasons, weren’t palatable.</p>

<p>Self-confidence is built upon a lot of small successes and then gradually bigger successes. Other people may have answers to obstacles but kids need to find those
people and know how to ask. I would ask my son about his current problems and make
suggestions if he was over his head. Most of the courses that he was taking were over
my head but I could still make suggestions in overcoming roadblocks. I also had other
resources in that we had a few former university professors in the group that could
provide a professors perspective to problems and situations. That helped in a lot of
student-professor-TA etiquette areas.</p>

<p>In general, I stayed in the background letting him deal with his professors and TAs.
I would suggest to him what he should say or do but he had to do it himself.</p>

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<p>Wow, BC. You’re a great Dad.</p>

<p>When D was in high school, since she has dysgraphia and dyslexia, she knew a lot of kids with ADD and whatnot, since they lump them all together and offer them the same accomodations as if they all have the same needs, which they do not. So…we do know some families who have had kids attend the Landmark summer program.</p>

<p>Mixed results. But I will say this unreservedly, if it was a kid who really wanted to find the solutions to the problems? The kid got a ton out of it. If it was a kid whose parents wanted him/her to find a solution, not so much.</p>

<p>Kind of like most things.</p>

<p>I’m very encouraged to hear that colleges are beginning to offer academic coaches…I think it is such a great solution for all these incredibly gifted but slightly lost kids. I’ve felt for a long time, reading your guys posts, that offering your sons the same accomodations as my dysgraphic daughter is just one-size-fits-all at its worst…it doesn’t help, but they believe they’ve “done something.”</p>

<p>I’m looking forward to the day when you all write your book for parents…if you decide to throw in a chapter on the dyslexic set, let me know and I’ll add my .02. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the thorough reply, BCEagle91. My son can be pretty resistant to my suggestions – either in how to manage a problem or where to get help. Some of it is a fear of showing weakness, as you mentioned. I think some of it may be a mother/son issue.</p>

<p>I too have found that he can get comfortable with something – like going to a study group – if he can be persuaded to try it a few times. But sometimes it seems that he has to learn a lesson again every time it comes up. There doesn’t seem to be the “oh, I tried X before and that solved Y problem. Now Y problem has come up again, so maybe X solution is worth a try.”</p>

<p>I was particularly struck with your comment:</p>

<p>“He eventually got to the point where he wants to get as much done as soon as possible so that he can relax. If he has something pending, he takes care of it and then relaxes when everything is under control.”</p>

<p>That is what an adult does – deferred gratification. If I could get my son to that point, I’d consider myself a successful parent.</p>

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Yep, that’s it.</p>

<p>BC, thanks for all of your thoughtful responses. I am very glad that you and your son were able to work through his problems, and get to a point where he is capable of managing them. That is what I hope for.</p>

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Me too.</p>

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poetgirl, of the students you know who attended Landmark, did any of them attend the semester for “visiting college students” (as opposed to enrolling in Landmark’s degree program)?</p>

<p>I have been able to find very little info on Landmark College here on CC. In fact, it isn’t even included in the “Alphabetical List of Colleges”.</p>

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<p>Dragonlady-- yes, I’m only refering to students who went there in the summer. I know of nobody who attended the school for “regular” school…</p>

<p>If you go to the discussion home page and scroll down, there are topics which are not to the left, in the pre-college issues section, there is an LD area. I’ve not really gone on there much…but it is there. I think there is some information about Landmark in that forum and you can search it. You might even be able to find a poster who went to the summer program by starting a new thread.</p>

<p>Good luck to your son. It sounds like he is making an effort, and honestly, for engineering, which is a very different animal GPA wise, as if he is doing rather well. I’m glad he wants to do even better.</p>

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<p>Thanks, I’ll take a look over there.</p>

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<p>Does anyone else have any wisdom to offer on taking a gap year after freshman year?</p>

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<p>I do have to confess that I’ve been trying out various stories with the folks who ask mr how Son likes his school…you know, the issue of what to tell acquaintances who will see him around next year, but don’t deserve the whole story. Right now I’m liking “the merit aid is only for four years and he thinks it will take at least 5 to graduate, so he’s going to go to CC to get in some of his gen ed requirements…”</p>

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<p>Yes, I’ve been struggling with that too. In my S’s case, we don’t know yet if he will be back home next year.</p>

<p>In the meantime, I’ve been “laying the groundwork”. When asked how he likes his school, I can truthfully answer that he likes it a lot, and it seems to be a good choice for him. I then (sometimes) go on to say that he is not doing as well academically as he/we would like. He’s learning the material ok (as evidenced by his tests), but has spotty performance on turning in homework. So we feel like he’s not getting full value for our education dollars. I attribute it to a combination of LD and immaturity, and mention the possibility of a gap year to address both issues. I make it clear that he is still in “good standing”, and would be returning to the same school after the gap.</p>

<p>I find that I feel much better about it if I discuss it truthfully. So far I have found that the other person is quite understanding, and can sometimes offer a useful perspective. Since I have taken this tack, I find myself coming to better terms with the situation.</p>

<p>I don’t want to be in a situation where he (or I) run into someone next year and they say “What are you doing here? I thought everything was great at your school?”</p>