<p>Thanks for the update, Fendrock. Congrats to your daughter on her decision and the scholarship.</p>
<p>My freshman son is in the should-I-or-shouldn’t-I mode when it comes to transferring from his current out-of-state small college. I’m sympathetic, but every other time I talked to him over the last few weeks, I got a different story! What he has decided is to not make a decision until after he is finished with the semester, and is under less stress. That makes sense, especially since he would be going to our local community college for a semester or year (and then move on to our state flagship) if he decided to transfer. (He hasn’t put in any applications to transfer to another 4-year for fall.)</p>
<p>As an alternative, I’m thinking of suggesting that he go back to his current school in the fall – since he clearly doesn’t dislike it there – and apply to transfer to the state flagship and one or two other colleges for Spring 2011. That way, if he has a good fall semester at his current school, then he can stay and we’ll have just lost some money for applications. But if he is unhappy in the fall he’ll hopefully have a couple acceptances at other 4-year schools to fall back on. Any thoughts on this strategy?</p>
<p>I have no problem with him coming home for a year and going to the community college if that is what he wants, but I’d be sorry to see him miss a year of the full college experience if he goes that route.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t encourage the move-home-and-go-to-community-college-for-a-year route for a student who isn’t absolutely miserable (and it sounds like your son is not miserable). I like your alternative much better. If he’s unhappy enough, he’ll muster the effort to prepare transfer applications next fall. Meantime, he’ll be working towards his degree in a stimulating environment. Why does he think he wants to transfer?</p>
<p>He’s been having some trouble socially. He gets along well with his roommate, and they will room together if he goes back in the fall. He also has made a few other friends. </p>
<p>But he doesn’t do much on the weekends. The school is small and there isn’t a lot of do on campus or in the surrounding area. And there is a lot of drinking and doping in his dorm, which aren’t his thing. I don’t think he’s made any female friends, and has no romantic prospects either (although that part he doesn’t talk about!).</p>
<p>He has friends from high school going to our local community college who plan to transfer to the state flagship, and doing that with them is very appealing to him.</p>
<p>delamer: I do understand discomfort with a strong drinking culture at a small college; that was one of my daughter’s main issues at School No. 1. (Drugs were not a big part of the scene there.) And at least there are friends for your son at home, friends who are in college. I’m assuming you like them. My only concern is that he hasn’t been unhappy enough to seriously explore transferring and actually prepare applications. Transferring can be the right decision, but it’s not easy to enter an environment where friendship groups are already established and you’re the new kid on the block. I’d want to make sure that my kid understood the difficulties and really saw no option other than to transfer. That was my D’s situation, and she was very happy at School No. 2. (She is now in grad school.) But the transition was not simple.</p>
<p>wjb: I think he hasn’t taken any action because he is still on the fence. Plus he is thinking purely in terms of going to community college and then transferring. I haven’t posed the possibility of transferring directly out of his current school next Spring.</p>
<p>I agree that he could end up in a “fire to the frying pan” situation where he is transferring due to social issues into a setup where it might be difficult to break in socially. Which is why transferring along with friends is appealing (and yes, I do like those friends). I think it would be better for him to do so without the community college time, but it is certainly not a disaster if that happens.</p>
<p>Thanks for the insights. I’m glad things worked out well for your daughter.</p>
<p>D & nephew both transferred (D sophomore year, N junior year), to different types of schools & for different reasons. Both are very happy with their choices. N’s social change was easier because he had buddies from high school at the new school. D’s social change was a bit less comfortable, but was frankly VERY good for her. Go with the flow & it’s so often the right direction, I say. :)</p>
<p>Thanks for all the support since transfers are getting something of a drubbing on this thread:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/905414-transferring-kids-giving-up-too-easily-2.html#post1064590454[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/905414-transferring-kids-giving-up-too-easily-2.html#post1064590454</a></p>
<p>Sample comment:</p>
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<p>So happy to hear that your daughter found another school!! and with a scholarship yet…have heard wonderful things about Ithaca and the students there; we will be visiting for Junior Day in May…good luck to her…!!</p>
<p>Fendrock–ignore those statements on that thread. Too many slippery soapboxes.</p>
<p>My youngest only applied to one school–he knew it was “the one”, had to force him to look at other schools, but he was soooo sure. Once there he did love the academics but never felt that he fit in socially. He considered transferring after freshman year, but gave it one more year.</p>
<p>He transferred his junior year and overall was happier, but still missed some of the positives at his first school.</p>
<p>S1 went to a small private OOS as an athlete. His coach was fired after his freshman year and they scrambled to find an unqualified coach in the end. S was shown the bench in favor of the local kid who was friends with the new coach. He transferred to our CC for a semester second half of soph year and then moved to a local State U. He is probably about a semester behind, but several thousand $$ ahead of where he’d have been at the private OOS. The coaching situation became unbearable and for him it was the right move. He loves his current school where he will be a 5th yr SR next year.</p>
<p>D1, a frosh this year, went to a decent size branch campus of a public and ran into a social scene that is just unacceptable for her. Even though the campus is less than 2 hours from home, it is a commuter campus and very cliquey (sp??) down to the local HSs. D has felt like an outsider from day 1 despite trying and has also decided that her chosen major is no longer her dream. A huge degree change means she is transferring as well. She did not decide this until second semester, she really has given it a chance. Even now, the few friends she has are almost all commuters from home, so she spends a lot of evenings alone. She too is on a sports team, but sports are not much of a factor at this school and her team is almost like a intramural team - they do things when they feel like it. She has narrowed down to 3 medium sized non flagship state Us with much broader curriculums.</p>
<p>For each of them, transferring was/is the right move.</p>