<p>So, I just got back from my best friend's 18th birthday party. And... I can't help but be worried for her.</p>
<p>We'll be attending the same college (not by choice, I got turned down from my top choice, but I'm not bitter.), and I'm younger than her, by a lot. And yet I can't help but think that maybe I'm the most mature of the two. My friend, she's... naive, at best, and childish at worst. Her room is the biggest proof of this. There's seven thousand stuffed toys on her bed (pink bed-spread with lace edgings...), and she owns (and plans to take to the dorms!) a High School Musical speaker pillow. Don't get me wrong, HSM was cool... In seventh grade.</p>
<p>She still deals with 'crushes' the same way a little kid would, by hitting and blushing and then calling me to complain how the guy she likes likes another girl. ('No, really? Wouldn't it be because you're so immature?' I wish I could reply). She worries too much about others and barely seems to notice that she stops herself from having fun, and she allows everyone to control her choices (her mother too, her mom is like a jailer, doesn't even let her go to the mall. SHE'S 18 now, and I called her and asked if she wanted to come with me and blow some birthday money, and all she said was "my mom can't drive me"). She has no sense of adventure, and even though I value her greatly as a friend (she's helped me through some really rough patches, and always was there for me when I nearly broke down), I can't help but thin that something really has to change, because although being cute and innocent is alright in high school, we'll be going to a large university, and I'm afraid she'll be hurt too quickly.</p>
<p>My honest question is how to address this, because I don't want to be the one to break her rose-tinted glasses, and yet all our other friends have asked me to tell her. How do you give someone a reality check? Or maybe my friends and I are overreacting and she'll do just fine?</p>
<p>Lots of people change in reaction to the greater freedom they get in college. If she doesn’t react to it positively (vs. no change) within a few months, then worrying would be understandable. I feel like this will likely resolve itself, though.</p>
<p>Sitting around stewing about the way this girl chooses to live her life (which seems perfectly fine… yeah, stuffed animals are weird at that age, but she’s not buying crack from people in parks or backstabbing people socially) seems silly. I can’t see why you are so bothered by this girl’s behavior and so desperate to change her. Instead, focus on living your own life by using her as an example of what not to do, if you’re so horrified by her HSM pillows and lack of… sexual prowess? (I don’t even understand your point about her way of flirting. Women flirt like that into their forties. That’s… about as normal as it gets for girls.)</p>
<p>She will learn on her own. People always do. Trying to tell her how immature you think she is isn’t going to make her learn any faster. In fact, it might just straight up make her angry at you.</p>
<p>Don’t forget that you, too, have a lot of growing up to do, which this post makes very evident. Try and find people who are closer to your own personal ‘style’ if this girl bothers you so much. Some high school friendships aren’t meant to last, and for good reason: people change and mature at different rates.</p>
<p>Personally I think that just the way that you typed that summary about her behavior, you should email that to her. But make it a little less harsh. If you really are her real friend though, you should have no problem telling that to her face. Just seem as sincere as possible</p>
<p>Your friend sounds a lot like my little sister. She’s probably what some would consider a little immature for her age, and sounds very similar to your friend (she’s turning 16; she played with WebKinz until she was 14). And, although it bothered me a lot when I was younger, I eventually became old enough to realize that she is her own person, and that’s okay. It was tough because I always felt way overprotective of her, but she’ll learn on her own. People grow and change at different rates, and I don’t think you need to worry about her unless she gets to college and actually has problems.</p>
<p>Besides - you never know what will happen in college. Perhaps she’ll meet a group of people who think it’s neat that she doesn’t conform to societal norms (i.e. the animals and the pillow). It might be a little strange being around her, but that is your issue - not hers. </p>
<p>You also mentioned that her mom is very strict and voerprotective. Perhaps, when she is free of her mom’s rules, she will mature and blossom into a more independent person in college? You never know.</p>
<p>Having stuffed animals doesn’t mean she’s immature. It could just be that she -gasps- likes them. Maybe that’s a hobby or collection of hers. Judging by the points you brought up, would you be happier with her if she had a room full of lingerie and acted like a slut? </p>
<p>You can’t judge a person’s maturity on crushes and collections. That’s just crazy.</p>
<p>I hope she’s going to a dorm- that’s the only way that she’s going to mature. It sounds like her mom has babied her and that’s why she is the way she is. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I’m 20 and extremely mature and I still blush and jokingly hit guys I like (and it seems to work for me since as soon as I’m single, guys jump all over me). It’s just how some women are. </p>
<p>You need to not worry so much. She’s not you and everyone grows at their own pace.</p>
<p>You’re a fake friend. You shouldn’t be talking ****** about her on a site. If this is a problem, you discuss it with her. Not blast her information on a website. Some friend you are; thank to the God that we’re not friends.</p>
<p>Agreed with Yakyu Spirits. Think about what you’re saying. You think you’re more mature than her because she likes stuffed animals, has a High School Musical pillow, and is shy around guys she likes? </p>
<p>She’s just being herself. You want her to be the kind of person who turns 18 and goes off clubbing and drinking just to “fit in”. That’s why I find it kind of ironic that you think she’s the one lacking in maturity.</p>
<p>I understand your worry. You don’t want her to be crushed by others. She’s obviously a friend and a good person. Relax. People do mature at different rates and sometimes it’s not really a lack of maturity but a lack of life experience. Usually there is an accepting group for everyone. I know both of you will grow in college in unexpected ways. Good luck to you both!</p>
<p>She just has her own style. Just because you turn 18 doesn’t mean you throw out everything and only like monotone colors and books as decorations. And she might mature in college, like most people.</p>