<p>If someone wasn't who they said they were, would you still be friends with them? Esp. after the fact they got so guilty after you told them that they lied to you and they withdraw and stopped talking to you. </p>
<p>Would you apology and make up for the friendship because you do genuinely care about them?</p>
<p>If someone lied about their natural hair color, I could get over it. But lying about who they are as a person?
That would make me wonder who it was I became friends with.</p>
<p>Could you give more detail? It really depends what they lied about and why they lied.</p>
<p>Yeah, more detail is needed.</p>
<p>Well is a public forum and I don’t want them reading what I’m going to write. But basically, he lied about taking a certain upper level class and lied about being a great (for sake of a distinguishable word TA). I told him that he lied and he got ****ed and stopped talking to me. I feel really bad because he’s one of the only people I ever share stories and feelings and studying with, you know? I think he felt a little bit the same way about me but I’m not going to say it’s for a fact. </p>
<p>He just really means a lot to me and I care a lot about him. I miss him too. </p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>I called him twice and he isn’t picking up. </p>
<p>I also wrote an email responding to the one he wrote about trying to prove it to me and he never it. In the email, I wrote I’m sorry about telling you that and it hurts to be lied to, etc… and that I’ll be there for him. But he never responded. </p>
<p>The only thing I can think of now is writing him an apology letter and handing it to him in person. Should I still insist that I was right in catching him in the lie and tell him that I won’t judge him or think any less of him or should I say I’m really sorry for what I said and I didn’t mean it at all. I was wrong about it all, etc… just because I want this to work.</p>
<p>Ok, I’m a little confused. So basically, your friend lied, you found out, and now he is mad? And what is a TA? Teaching assistant?</p>
<p>You seem to be really desperate to win him back. There is really no need for you to be groveling back to him. He is the one who needs to apologize to you for lying. For now, go meet some new people or hang out with different friends. When he has cooled off, he will probably approach you and explain why he did what he did. Maybe he wanted to impress you. As of now, you’ve pretty much done all that could do. You’ve been the bigger person and apologized even when you didn’t do anything wrong. Like I said, give him time.</p>
<p>It’s been like two weeks since I emailed him and a week since the phone call. </p>
<p>How long does it take? </p>
<p>I suppose I am desperate. Sorry about that. It’s just I want to talk to him about it, I just him to know I really don’t care if he lied or not. I just want to be there for him because everyone makes mistakes. And he’s the first one I’ve opened up to and the first one I’ve ever really had a huge crush on. Which unfortunately makes everything more complicated. </p>
<p>I was thinking about handing a letter of apology in person and then, that’ll be it. That’ll be the deciding factor.</p>
<p>I’m just going to assume this is a joke.</p>
<p>leave him alone…maybe he needs some space even if you don’t.</p>
<p>well at this point you should be asking a couple questions
<p>2) what can you deduce about his fears, insecurities, or overall makeup as a person? these will be hard questions to answer without hanging around him and gathering more data, but at least you can speculate and work with what you have.</p>
<p>3) will these insecurities affect your ability to have a relationship with him? remember, no person is bad or unworthy per se - they might just be difficult or unpleasant to interact with, or they might not give you as much as you expect from a relationship. if the only problem this will lead to is a little misinformation, it might not be terrible…but if it prevents you from getting close to him, it could be bad. my ex used to conceal stuff from me because he was afraid i’d think he was dumb. and the underlying insecurity was a very bad thing for our relationship because i am very smart, so he was always afraid he wasn’t good enough for me, which caused him to distance himself from me.</p>
<p>4) how should you alter your actions? just because he isn’t a perfect friend for you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be his friend at all. you just rely on the friend for certain things and not other things. like if you have someone who is a good conversationalist but doesn’t share your hobbies, you talk to him and don’t play video games with him. or if you have someone who loves video games but can’t keep secrets, you’re still friends with him, you just don’t tell him secrets. or if you have someone who is a chronic liar but perfect in every other way, you rely on him for everything else, but don’t believe everything he tells you. (ideally you have several friends that each provide different things, so none of your needs get neglected.)</p>
<p>you don’t need to answer all these questions right away, in fact you probably shouldn’t because you’ll most likely be wrong. but these are the sorts of things you will find out in the course of your friendship with him, if you remain friends. and eventually you should find them.</p>
<p>good luck</p>
<p>I know. I want to give him space but everyone says apologies should be made as soon as possible. So, I just wanted to apologize well asap. And this is make the situation all the more complicated, he might transfer to a diff. school next semester. So, my only chance to see him again would be over the summer, you know 
I mean the school’s still in the same state, so I can still visit him if anything happens. </p>
<p>But I guess I should apply better late than never to this situation right? </p>
<p>Thanks everyone. Sorry for being a crazy desperate friend :/</p>
<p>EDIT: Reply to fizix2 in a bit. Thanks, for the questions. I’ll definitely be thinking about it. Actually I have thought of some of them a while back but I’ll give it more thought. Thanks again.</p>
<p>no…an apology is fine asap…not “apologies” don’t pester. anyway…seems like you’ve got it kinda under control. good luck :)</p>
<p>A hand written letter to me is always the strongest way a person can apology( I am a writer Lol kind of opiniated), end it with love,… and give it to him in person with maybe a cute pic of you two but dont make the letter so serious include a few funny memorys where he can laugh inbetween.</p>
<p>I wanted to include jokes but after reading this, I changed my mind.</p>
<p>[Writing</a> an apology letter to a friend? - Yahoo! Answers](<a href=“http://■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■/question/index;_ylt=AlHoibcmz4T0m7SqpkHXJpEazKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090707155052AApYVCu]Writing”>http://■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■/question/index;_ylt=AlHoibcmz4T0m7SqpkHXJpEazKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090707155052AApYVCu)</p>
<p>Unless of course, it would be best. He’s a jokey kind of guy, so I think he would like it but maybe it’s important to be serious here. I don’t know. </p>
<p>I’m so afraid of giving it to him in person. He even stops hanging out where he usually does because he knows that’s where we usually meet to talk >.< </p>
<p>Thanks again for your advice.</p>
<p>I’m going to be forward, but if you continue to apologize and run after this guy, he’s just going to be creeped out/annoyed, and then definitely won’t want to talk to you.</p>
<p>Give him another two weeks, then approach him. Try not to take things so seriously. Organize an event with a group of friends, and invite him along.</p>
<p>This thread sounds less like a friendship, and sounds more like a lover’s quarrel. Lol.</p>
<p>Hey everyone. I apologized in person three days ago and he just wanted to end it because he said it’s not my fault. I just said I was really sorry about it. And he replied before I even got the chance to finish and he said that it wasn’t my fault, it’s the school’s fault (He lied about being a TA). He’s still going to send me the documents and how I should take full responsibility for what I said. I said yes, I do take full responsibility. And he said he has nothing against me, no ill-will. There was an awkward silence. Then I said, how was he and he’s didn’t answer and just left. I acted desperate and I ran after him and I said I’m really sorry, really sorry. He said like it’s not your fault, I’ll send the documents in about a year (Yeah so they’ll be authentic because it’ll be after he’s become TA and taken those classes urgh). o.O </p>
<p>I feel so bad about everything 
Should a write a letter? Forget about it for a while? </p>
<p>Unfortunately, he never goes out unless it’s school related >.<</p>
<ol>
<li>He sounds a little crazy; take his departure as a good sign.</li>
<li>This sounds like one of those “bromance” things. </li>
<li>You do realize he’s completely manipulated the situation?
He lied.
You found out.
He gets you to chase after him with apologies.</li>
</ol>
<p>I’m trying. The past just hurts. And it doesn’t help how everyone thinks he’s the greatest person in the world because he’s funny, smart and hardworking albeit arrogant/mean/lying side. We’re both studying nearly the same major, so it’s I’m studying for classes and I think about him urgh. A lot of things remind me of him esp. when it comes to school and that’s what I’m supposed to be focusing on right now @_@ </p>
<p>Bromance lol. I’m a girl which I suppose complicates this more </p>
<p>I’m soo tempted to turn into an Elle Woods and take a class with him next semester and get really good grades in that class. Good or bad idea?</p>
<p>In my opinion, I think you should just move on. He doesn’t seem interested in remaining friends (and from what you’ve posted, he doesn’t sound like a great friend to begin with).</p>
<p>Maybe let him grow up a bit before trying to pursue anything.</p>