<p>So, my friend made this list based on me/her/friends/people in our school/teachers. Ignore the names, though it is funnier if you know them, most of them are funny anyways.
background:
1) Mr. A = the school's only french teacher, very smart, not a very good teacher---do nothing in class. he says the wierdest things.
2) Mr. Bachman = bad AP physics teacher, very nice though---completely monotone, would be perfect for The Office
3) Mr. Lee = asian Calc teacher
4) Mr. Tomaselli = art history teacher
5) Mrs. Gazzola = amazing but crazy AP Lang teacher</p>
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<p>“The more we eat, the bigger we get.”
-Mr. A</p>
<p>“If everyone dropped French, would they lose weight?” – Mr. A
(we all eat during class)</p>
<p>Mr. Bachman asks a question to which the answer is “velocity.”
Olivia: Positive?
Mr. Bachman: It begins with a v… and ends in –elocity.</p>
<p><em>People are talking</em>
Mr. Aviles: Would you please talk, class?
Anu & Olivia: Okay!
Mr. Aviles: I wanna feel like I’m in command, that’s all. TALK DAMMIT!</p>
<p>“If you felt yourself going forward and then backward, then you probably had a seatbelt on . .. which is good.” – Mr. Bachman</p>
<p>“Tracy, you look like you’re going spelunkering in the North Pole.” – Mr. Lee
(I'm prettty sure it's spelunking..hahah)</p>
<p>“And the 3’s like, ‘Wait. I’m not being raised to the 5th power so leave me alone.’” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>"You know how when you're in an accident everything goes in slow motion? Well there was this moment that me and the deer were looking at each other like, '...ok we're both screwed.'" - Mr. Tomaselli</p>
<p>Steven: Is it Thursday today?
Bachman: Allll day. </p>
<p>“For best results, look at the board. The secret enigma will be revealed.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“Don’t bring glass bottles to class. Yes they break, yes they spill, yes people leave them. Like that huge spill in the back that put Exxon Valdez to shame.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“Make sure that if you don’t know it, you know you don’t know it. You can’t just sit there going, ‘You know, I don’t know if I know it.’” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>“Concavity: Does it look like the roof of your car or . . NOT the roof of your car?” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>Bachman is telling about springs and how proliferate they are.
Jenny Papo: “Wow, springs are really a big part of our lives.”</p>
<p>“My little gnats. You have the attention span of a gnat.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“You were born. You fell out, done. Deal. Paid for.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“We’re gonna drop a cannonball . . . just to test the cliff – see if it works.” – Mr. Bachman</p>
<p>Andrew goes to drop something off in the math office. He returns.
Mr. Lee: did you see Dr. Gav in the office?
Andrew: No
Mr. Lee: I should’ve known. You came back so soon.</p>
<p>“So we can call each other sots, then? This is a good day.”- Mr. aviles</p>
<p>“And the 2’s like, ‘Ha! You cannot combine me because we’re not like-terms.” – Mr. Lee </p>
<p>Anu: “Why did you draw a weird tic tac toe board?”
Me: “It ‘s not Tictactoe. It’s a doodle.”
Anu: “A doodle of a poodle.”</p>
<p><em>Girl walks in looking for her cell phone</em>
Mr. Aviles: “You’re looking for a cell phone? Rub the bottle and ask the genie for it.”</p>
<p>“Girls, and girls, and girls. You’re eating, you’re choking. You can’t read whiel you’re eating and choking.” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>“And the 1/3’s going, ‘Hey m, integrate yourself so I can be like next to you.’ . . . and then the 1/3 is like ‘Alright!’”</p>
<p>Anu: I forgot to tell you to watch The Office yesterday.
Mr. Bachman: What office? Was I supposed to be at an office?</p>
<p><em>Power goes out.</em> “It must be a squirrel.” – Mr. Lee</p>
<p>“Examinator”
-Mr. A</p>
<p>Olivia: “Mr. A, where's Jake?”
Mr. A: “Well, I never got my GPS device back, I don't know.”</p>
<p>Sondra: Half our school would be dead.
Me: If what?
Sondra: If they killed stupid people.</p>
<p>“And now for the 64-dollar question . . .” – Mr. Aviles</p>
<p>[about Bachman] Steven: Oh, but he does have a good body…</p>
<p><em>Jake says something.</em>
Mr. A: “Just go back to your English work.”</p>
<p>“Is it just me or are some of those words blue . . .” -Andolika</p>
<p><em>Mr. Lee hands back tests.</em>
Mr. Lee: “Feel free to baste in your glory.”
Apparently ... in Mr. Lee's class, you don't bask in your glory.. you baste yourself with it.</p>
<p><em>Someone writes the sentence 'I have a lot on my mind.'"</em>
Mrs. Gazzola: The image I get from that is a person walking around with an acre on his head.</p>
<p><em>Schyler is jumping around with energy.</em>
Mr. Bachman: Try the decaf.</p>
<p><em>Someone writes 'in the novel, Hana..'</em>
Mrs. Gazzola: Where else do you think they are!? On 42nd street soliciting a hooker!?</p>
<p>Jenny Pierson: This is how you get a five on the Physics AP. First, you do all the work in Bachman's class. Then you go out with a physics genius. (she went out with a physics genius =P)</p>
<p>“A non-conservative force? Why don’t you just call it a liberal force then?” –Anu</p>
<p>“Kinetic Friction Awareness Day is an important day for followers of . . kinetic friction followings.” – Mr, Bachman</p>
<p>Anu (really loudly, no one else is saying anything): “He’s SUCH a bad teacher.”
Mr. Aviles: WHAT!????</p>
<p>"Little known fact -- I'm a caveman--and straight out of South Africa, hence the skin color." - Alex F. (he's extremely pale)</p>
<p>“There are only two minutes left in the period. Maybe we should just play with the loopdiloop till the bell rings.” - Physics</p>
<p><em>Mrs. Gazzola steps on a bug very hard and squishes it into the floor; it had interrupted our convo on expository essays</em>
Mrs Hampsey: Now, that is totally not a [metaphor] to what she's going to do to your essays</p>
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<p>have you guys got any?</p>