Gay College Students

College Life
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<p>Did you know that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are supportive of gay rights?</p>

<p>"I really look forward to looking back on this aspect of our convention [the marriage debate] with some degree of embarrassment for how antiquated it was, where we even have to stand up here and mention that we have some friend who's gay," he said. "Guess what folks? Everybody has a friend, a brother, a family member who's gay. ... You're entitled to every goddamned right that every other American is. </p>

<p>"If you want to defend marriage," Affleck said, "find somebody and love that person, and care for that person, and be faithful to that person, and commit your life to that person, and don't worry about your neighbor's marriage. ... As somebody who, to be perfectly frank, has enough trouble figuring out who to marry, I don't need the federal or state government telling me who I can marry."</p>

<p>Greeted with wild applause from GLBT delegates, Affleck said: "A reception like that just makes me want to take my shirt off and dance. ... You know ... my partner and I -- Matt Damon -- have done more for raising the profile and awareness for gay men in this city than anyone in the last 10 years."</p>

<p><a href="http://www.gayamerican.org/2004/07/ben_affleck_dancing_towards_ga.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.gayamerican.org/2004/07/ben_affleck_dancing_towards_ga.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<hr>

<p>And Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie back gay marriage:</p>

<p>"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."</p>

<p><a href="http://www.lse.co.uk/ShowbizNews.asp?Code=ON114340K&headline=brad_pitts_gay_marriage_vow%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.lse.co.uk/ShowbizNews.asp?Code=ON114340K&headline=brad_pitts_gay_marriage_vow&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>Well duh, Affleck and Damon probably want to marry each other :P</p>

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<p>"Open heterosexuality disturbs me just as much as "open gayness.""</p>

<p>I know. I always hate seeing a pregnant woman with her husband, holding hands. They think they're better than the LGBT community just because their sexual attractions result in the creation of life. </p>

<p>PLEASE...</p>

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<p>I go to UVA and the gay scene is pretty much dry - the same people all over and over again. A lot of them like to cause major drama, especially the current first-years. The afterparties are quite the same from week to week, with guys within the Queer Student Union circle hooking up with one another time after time. I think this comes from the desperation of the resources available in a small town, where there exists only a gay club and a gay bar.</p>

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<p>People have mentioned Berkeley already but I'll emphasize it.</p>

<p>There is a) the Oscar Wilde Co-op, the first LGBT themed student house in America
b) the LGBT theme program in the dorms
c) a ton of queer events throughout the semester (dances, etc)
d) tons of groups dedicated to queer rights, awareness, equality, etc
e) even an LGBT studies minor, and LGBT/gender studies courses available individually
f) plus you live in Berkeley, the hippie culture of tolerance and acceptance makes it particularly appealing to the queer community
g) the Bay Area in general and proximity to SF, home of some kickass gay clubs/bars and periodical gay themed events (such as SF Pride, the world's largest)</p>

<p>regardless of who you personally are, you'll probably know a bunch of gay people if your social circle is large enough, and tolerant enough</p>

<p>Berkeley, San Francisco... it's really just a no-brainer</p>

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<p>I'm just wondering, since like half of Berkeley is populated by Asians, what do they feel about the gay community?</p>

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<p>I don't think gianscolere is asking which areas of the US are gay-friendly but rather what kinds of experiences gay college students from all over the country are having.</p>

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<p>correct ^^^^</p>

<p>but thanks for the insight regardless.</p>

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<p>While we're on the topic, are there any Yalies out there who would like to answer gianscolere1's question? It's something that i also care about very much in choosing the place where i'll spend the next four years, and any info would be very helpful. I know as much as is available on the student groups' web sites, but personal experiences would be very valuable in making my decision...</p>

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<p>There seem to be very few gay people at my campus, with a suprising number of closeted individuals (which I'm assuming is due to uncertainty on their part, not out of worry of the communities reaction). I'm out on campus and have never faced any homophobia. I'm only aware of two gay couples of campus (partly because I'm in one), but the gay community isn't a concern of mine so I'm not actively searching for new developments. </p>

<p>Several professors are openly gay and there is a unity house to encourage understanding on campus. I'm not friends with any other gay students, so I don't know what their experiences are like in terms of hookups and dating.</p>

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<p>Even though I'm gay and closeted (lol, probably at times even to myself...), would anyone be familiar on how things are in terms of the gay community at USC?</p>

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<p>I'm recently out at my school, and it hasn't been the glitter/glamor occasion that some folks have been describing here, but coming out is always a freeing experience. Have to do it again sometime.</p>

<p>My school's interesting in that for a school with well over 3/4ths of our students being male (engineering school deep in the heart of rural Missouri), we have relatively few openly gay students. In a way, I prefer that. It makes being gay in college less a party experience than a people experience. You get to know people as individuals, not just faces in a crowd.</p>

<p>Make some close friends (no, not like that) and stick with 'em, it'll be more gratifying in the long-run than some of the flings that a lot of gay college groups seem to be popular for.</p>

<p>Anyway, as for the actual questions posed in the first post.</p>

<p>We've got two groups on our campus oriented towards gay and gay-friendly folks. One is Delta Lambda Phi, a national fraternity for gays and "progressive men" (whatever that means), which is primarily a social fraternity. The other is a more politically oriented group, which I'm not a member of. My experience seems to be (corroborated with stories I've heard from folks from other schools) is that you can be as involved or uninvolved in either end of the spectrum as you'd like to be.</p>

<p>There are quite a few closeted folks at my school, which isn't surprising, seeing as a large amount of our student population originals from rural Missouri, where families and friends may not be the most... accepting of alternative lifestyles. Overall, overt homophobia's not a big deal, but there are the usual comments tossed around that some folks of our persuasion find offensive.</p>

<p>Just get out there and have fun though, most of all.</p>

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<p>I go to UC Santa Cruz, and I seriously think there are more GLBTIQ(etc) students than straight. Or maybe that's just my social circle...</p>

<p>Anyway, we were rated 'Best of the Best Top 20' Colleges for LGBT Students.</p>

<p>"The 'Best of the Best Top 20' listing features the LGBT pioneers of
progress at institutions of higher education as featured in the newly released book "The Advocate College Guide for LGBT Students" "</p>

<p>Our queer resource center hosts a half dozen groups (support/social/dating/etc) and mixers/coffee houses/etc every week. I have NEVER met an anti-gay person on this campus. I think if anyone voiced that opinion, they'd quickly find themselves shunned and alone. </p>

<p><a href="http://www.queer.ucsc.edu/home/home.shtml%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.queer.ucsc.edu/home/home.shtml&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>A few months ago, an acquaintance (a professor who helped with my research last year) got his article on gay marriage published in the (Harvard) Gay & Lesbian Review (front page, feature article).</p>

<p><a href="http://glreview.com/13.6-demilio.php%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://glreview.com/13.6-demilio.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>The last four paragraphs contain the meat of the argument.</p>

<p>He thinks that gay activists should de-emphasize the fight for gay marriage now in order to build a strong case for it in the future (essentially, to postpone the fight until history favors the current strategy). By making it the focus of the gay rights movement now, activists are only going against the tide of history and setting themselves up for failure. </p>

<p>You might be thinking "well, we can redirect the forces of history," but it's not that easy. Realtistically, we will experience greater success if we wait until certain conditions (economic, technological, religious, social trends, etc.) are favorable enough to accommodate our strategy. In the meantime, we could divert our attention towards other gay rights issues.</p>

<p>Excerpts:</p>

<p>"Since the early 1960's, the lives of many, many heterosexuals have become much more like the imagined lives of homosexuals. Being heterosexual no longer means settling as a young adult into a lifelong coupled relationship sanctioned by the state and characterized by the presence of children and sharply gendered spousal roles." </p>

<p>"Had we tried to devise a strategy that took advantage of the force of historical trends, we would, as a movement, have been pushing to further de-center and de-institutionalize marriage."</p>

<p>Author's postscript:
"...a group of queer activists who are mostly outside the network of 'mainstream' GLBT organizations have released a document, Beyond Same-Sex Marriage: A New Strategic Vision for All Our Families and Relationships, that calls for a shift in direction. Over 200 activists and intellectuals have signed it."</p>

<p>Indeed, this could be the beginning of a new strategy. Thoughts?</p>

<p>I think today's activists should be patient and understand that they must take on the burden for future generations of gay people who want to get married (OK, maybe I'm just saying this now because I don't have the urge to get married yet).</p>

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<p>Here's the statement that calls for a strategy shift:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.beyondmarriage.org/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.beyondmarriage.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>The Eugene Lang college in NYC has a big LGBT community.</p>

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<p>After only skimming the marriage stuff, I think it's dangerous to say to wait to voice your opinions until the "conditions are right". What's to stop conditions from getting worse? I think over the years gay rights have made huge, huge progress. The number of youth who are openly against gay marriage - or at the very least against full legal rights under the law as provided by marital status - is a minority. I don't know that this would have been the case 20 yrs ago. I definitely don't feel like the gay rights movement has not been making progress, so I don't see what necessitates a "change in direction".</p>

<p>Personally, I think lobbying for gay marriage is so dangerous because it attacks a religious belief. And marriage under the law is so dangerous because it takes a religious belief out of its context. I support completely eradicating legal rights given to married couples and instituting a system of civil unions instead. But it'll be a long time before /that/ happens.</p>

<p>Honestly, I don't care whether GLBT people are allowed to get married. As long as they're given the same rights, it's all good.</p>

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<p>I guess what the professor fails to directly address is that even if heterosexual relationships become more like ours, there is no guarantee that the people who are against gay marriage now would be in favor of it in the future (especially if the reasons against gay marriage are religion-based). However, he implies it when he says that marriage would become de-institutionalized.</p>

<p>There is no question that the gay rights movement has made tremendous progress. In fact, the problem may be overconfidence with previous successes to the point of setting goals that are too ambitious and unrealistic for the time being. Don't you agree that it would be easier to get gay marriage passed once the country becomes far less religious (I would argue that the Religious Right is stronger now that it's been in decades)? The author's argument would hold if numbers project that Americans are becoming less religious over time. We are waiting for the moment when the public perceives marriage to be less "sacred"; once it becomes becomes more civil in nature, activists should then make the proposal with increased efforts. (But then again, some want to get married for religious recognition as well). They are more likely to succeed then. Focusing the gay rights movement on gay marriage now is futile.</p>

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<p>I think that instead of throwing ourselves into a debate about homosexuality / the gay rights movement, we should focus on the topic, which is providing information about the atmospheres at various colleges for prospective gay students.</p>

<p>having said that</p>

<p>Cornell University has a really nice LGBT resource center and a variety of clubs, too. Also, I've heard UW-Madison is really gay friendly.</p>

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<p>I woke up on Saturday morning to find a DVD of gay porn slipped under my door (it's called "Behind His Back" with an obscene graphic on the DVD). This was preceded by a bunch of people in the common area making sounds of fake crying and others laughing in the background (I was asleep but could hear the noises). Needless to say, I was shocked because I actually get along with the people on my floor. Anyway, I think it would be funny to try to figure out the culprit. I know that someone on my floor had to get involved, since no one else is allowed on the floor unless given permission by floor residents. And I hope that whoever it was had no malicious intent (probably just a bunch of drunk guys). The funny thing though is that the people had to spend money on it, because the DVD is professionally designed, suggesting that the content is also professional and that the entire thing was planned (Boy do I feel special). Had they given it to me in person, I would've been like "I actually prefer face-to-face *******. Do you have that in your collection?" I was wrong to think that no one gave a damn about my sexual orientation. Apparently, they're grossed out by people who have a same-sex companion.</p>

<p>Hmm, how to retaliate ;)? Just kidding... or not.</p>