This is one very small dorm for a student population of around 1,000. So, there could easily be 7 students or more. Plus supportive friends who choose to live with them.
Where is the harm in this? I see none.
There are even less than 7. The balance were kids already living in that dorm. There is no harm other than another example of special and unnecessary accommodations being made for very small numbers of people who have self designated as victims. Sorry, there are males and females. DECIDING you are something else and expecting others to make special arrangements is both ridiculous and dangerous
What an awful thing to say, @Center. I hope you don’t know any of these individuals, because if so you will be consistently showing them that they can’t trust you.
“There is no harm other than another example of special and unnecessary accommodations being made for very small numbers of people who have self designated as victims. Sorry, there are males and females. DECIDING you are something else and expecting others to make special arrangements is both ridiculous and dangerous”
You are imparting your own biases and prejudices into the situation and making it a much bigger issue than it is. They’re just designating their reality of who they are not being victims. It’s these kinds of attitudes that make it necessary to allow them a space where they can live comfortably. If the administration has no problem with carving out one dorm to do so, how could you possibly have an issue with it? How is it harming you or your child? What extra costs are involved? How is it dangerous? I could make a case that it is actually safer.
This is the kind of stuff said a few generations ago about women, about people of color when they were not given rights.
I’d really like to know how this could possibly affect you and your child personally that you post with so much animosity about it. What about this makes you so
“There is no harm other than another example of special and unnecessary accommodations being made for very small numbers of people who have self designated as victims. Sorry, there are males and females. DECIDING you are something else and expecting others to make special arrangements is both ridiculous and dangerous”
@Center I realize this is a long post but please bear with me and read it, because I think it is something that many could benefit from. I am really going to try and assume that you either don’t truly mean what you are saying, or you have just not been educated about the topic and don’t actually understand the issue.
I’m going to bring in a personal experience. I have a very close friend at home who just this past year transitioned from girl to boy. He has been having some trouble in school because of other kids making fun of him, and the academics at our old school weren’t very challenging. So, he decided to look at some boarding schools. After touring 2 schools on the east coast, he realized that there weren’t any dorms where he would feel comfortable. Even if the environments were very open and accepting of him, he still had a changing body and wasn’t comfortable. He was worried other guys would make fun of him, and he was also worried that he might be put into a girls dorm, because of how he looked before he fully began his medical transition. He had so much anxiety surrounding this, that he decided to give up the idea of going to boarding school altogether and just stayed at out local public school. He had to miss out on an amazing opportunity because he knew he wouldn’t feel comfortable in his own dorm. @Center Dorms play a large part in a students life. They spend a majority of their down time in the dorm, it is where their friends are, where they sleep and hang out, etc. A student DESERVES to feel safe where they live.
Let me ask you this: Does making other students feel comfortable in their own environment cause any harm to you or your child? Is the money coming out of your pocket? Is this causing emotional issues for your child? Does in personally affect you in any way, shape or form?
If it doesn’t affect you, why shouldn’t these students be able to feel safe in their dorms? You comments are not needed or wanted on this forum and even as a underclassmen in high school, I already understand that when I am older, I am using you as an example of what NOT a type of person I want to become in this world. Respect others! Treat others the way you wanted to be treated! If you think that what you are saying is going to cause harm and you just feel like spreading words of hate, take it somewhere else. CC is meant to be a supportive forum and if you can’t do that, then don’t say anything at all. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then keep your mouth shut.
@Center, Actually, a certain percentage of babies are born with some variant in sex characteristics that makes them not clearly male or female. I’m no expert on the subject, so I don’t know how those variations correlate with the psychological concept of gender, but I would imagine there is some overlap.
Recent studies show how beneficial increased diversity is on group performance as well as on individual members’ advances. I believe whatever the cost that that Exeter invested to promote it will result as bigger return for all its members, purely on practical consideration that is.
I doubt there is much cost at all. It’s not like they built a new dorm, correct? They just reclassified an existing dorm.
@doschicos, I was thinking about possible emotional cost that is making this a debate issue. I heard from dd that some students at her school are very conservative. I am guessing it probably is true at any school including Exeter. I was suggesting that even those kids will get net individual benefit through the increased diversity.
I agree about the net benefit, both individually and as a collective whole.
All change is usually hard. Humans don’t like change but when the goal is more acceptance, understanding, and inclusion, the vast majority look back at such progress knowing that it is a good thing.
In situations like this that might make one feel uncomfortable because it is new territory, I always find it helpful to ask: Is this hurting me personally? Is this helping others?
@doscicos, while I agree your basic values on the issue, I doubt your optimism on “the vast majority.” I also believe that it does hurt some people, though not you or me, emotionally, which is just as real as physical hurting. I have a lot to add. But I shouldn’t. And I won’t. It won’t help anyway.
Let’s just say the vast majority of the Exeter community which is all that matters in this example. I’m not talking about the world at large. I do think most will look back 1 year, 5 years from now and realize that any misgivings they might have had were likely unwarranted in hindsight.
I’m sure some felt emotional pain at the thought of women getting a right to vote and slavery being abolished. Sorry, but that’s the price of progress. I can’t be overly sympathetic.
@doschicos, I was thinking about the U.S. at large. I might have agreed with for the (developed) world at large. Anyway, statistics suggest that you would be right for the boarding school community including Exeter.
How about being sympathetic toward innocent (though may be foul mouthed) preteen girls feeling emotional pain for someone else’s pro-choice or even just birth control? Shoot. I should have refrained and stayed in the consented historical events. Anyways, it’s irrelevant if we are sympathetic. The emotional cost would still be real.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Guys, I made this request when the thread was first launched in March/April and am making it again: let’s not devolve this into a debate. The people who did not like the idea already posted about it at that time and those who thought it was a swell idea also weighed in then. There is nothing new to add, and it is clear that nobody’s mind will change.
The only reason I’m keeping this thread open after someone roused it from its slumber is that @PhotographerMom asked a very good question, IMO:
I personally would also like to hear an update from any current parents/students at these schools. But note than any discussion about why/should/if these schools should do it is moot - they’ve done it. So any posts along those lines will be deleted without comment.
Maybe we could encourage schools to offer more specialty housing to other groups with special needs that would benefit. Way More girls are cutting themselves today at these schools. And more are getting assaulted. And way way more have eating disorders. I understand the interest in supportive housing and am not opposed, just suggesting there are larger groups also worthy of support.
As a current parent of two students that just visited Exeter for family weekend, I can report that this is a non-issue for my kids. They are so busy and this “overly politically correct” culture that posters on this site are concerned about doesn’t seem to be on their radar at all. Exeter currently has a photography exhibit in the arts building that features images of transgendered young people. The photographs are beautiful and in my opionion should generate no controversy at all - but hopefully they make a statement of acceptance.