<p>Here's the deal: I'm an only child; I've never shared a room in my life. I don't mind sharing my stuff; the only things I'd ask of my roommate is to lock the door when neither of us are in the room, to give me at least two days warning before sexiling me, to not smoke around me, and to not let other people use my things unless I'm cool with it. I don't drink or do drugs, but I don't tend to have an attitude about it (well I do, but I know that that's a naive, immature, and annoying attitude and I'm forcing myself to grow out if it, so no worries).</p>
<p>Is that reasonable? Is there anything there that would significantly **** off my roommate? Do I need an attitude adjustment? Advice would me much appreciated, I'm having a lot of anxiety right now.</p>
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the only things I'd ask of my roommate is to lock the door when neither of us are in the room, to give me at least two days warning before sexiling me, to not smoke around me, and to not let other people use my things unless I'm cool with it.
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<p>lol at the bold. Other than that, everything sounds reasonable.</p>
<p>Yeah... most of the time the sexiling goes, "<em>Roommate enters room</em> Get tout NOW <em>you leave</em> <em>roommate gets freak on</em>", there's not really a way to say that in advance... Fortunately, both my and my roommate's boyfriends had their own places so it usually wasn't a problem.</p>
<p>I think you're being pretty reasonable, except perhaps with the 2 day notice for sexiling. It's right of you to make a list of concerns before you move in, so when you get there you and your roommate can sit down and discuss things. This is something I wish I had done with my freshman year roommate, and perhaps we could have avoided a lot of later troubles. It's so important to be on the same page with your roommate. You also need to be able to compromise on some things. Your roommate probably can't meet every single one of your demands and you theirs so you're going to need some flexibility. </p>
<p>So don't be too anxious and just talk to your roommate about your concerns.</p>
<p>Yeah, sexiling = not gonna give you any notice lol.</p>
<p>I was sexiled last week. Came into the room and found my roommate with a boy (who happened to be a friend of mine) on his bed. I left and came back an hour later.</p>
<p>Sexiling is lame. I would never allow that to happen. Half of the room is mine, and if I want to be in my room at any time, I'm going to be there. They can find someplace else.</p>
<p>That happened to one of my friends--she had this roommate who'd bring people in the middle of the night and have wild sex on her bed, while my friend was sleeping in the other.</p>
<p>Awkward! I think it's probably more scarring for you than for them if you don't leave.</p>
<p>if you pay for half the room you should be able to be in it whenever you want to. College is meant for learning not for having sex, even though you should have fun theres no need to kick your roommate out so you can have sex.</p>
<p>Aronomy-If you want them to stop the funniest thing would be to start cheering them on and invite friends over and things like that. That would be hilarious, and I'm fairly certain they would stop.</p>
<p>^Well, if they never leave and aren't being understanding at all it really isn't cool. You're paying for half, but so is your roomate, and I don't think it's too much to ask that you stay out of the room for an hour.</p>
<p>I don't think it's cool to "sexile" your roomate as in "find somewhere else to sleep tonight" unless you give them plenty of advanced warning and you're in a LDR or something, and they're okay with it. But whenever my bf or I "sexiled" our roomates, it was never for more than an hour, and never at night. We tried to plan it out around their schedules (i.e. roomate going to the library to study for an hour, going to work, etc.), and that seemed to work pretty well.</p>
<p>Is it normal to be more worried about my roommate liking me than I'm worried about liking my roommate? I don't like to bother people. </p>
<p>I'm pretty boring by conventional standards and I don't party or anything...I hope they don't judge me for that (like automatically label be a nerd).</p>
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Sexiling is lame. I would never allow that to happen. Half of the room is mine, and if I want to be in my room at any time, I'm going to be there. They can find someplace else.
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That’s pretty much the way I feel; I’m paying full tuition, including room and board (obviously) so I’m hoping that my roommate and I can devise some sort of mutual respect arrangement type thing. I don’t want to be a pain, but I really have issues with the whole sexiling thing.</p>
<p>Do any of you guys who say its crazy to want two day’s notice (you may be right), do you have any advice as to handle this without one of us getting really mad?-because sexiling is probably the one things that would truly tick me off. However, if its truly futile, I’ll try to deal.</p>
<p>However, I like this idea:
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If you want them to stop the funniest thing would be to start cheering them on and invite friends over and things like that. That would be hilarious, and I'm fairly certain they would stop.
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<p>Is it reasonable to ask for some sort of warning…not 5 minutes beforehand?</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your responses!</p>
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Is it normal to be more worried about my roommate liking me than I'm worried about liking my roommate? I don't like to bother people.
<p>Just hope your roommate does not have a boyfriend/girlfriend from out of town. That happened with my D - boyfriend came and stayed in their shared room for almost a week without notice. It was a very awkward situation.</p>
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You're not always going to have things your way in life. Life is not Burger King. Learn to negotiate, the world doesn't revolve around you.
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That was completely uncalled for. Most of the things I would ask of my roommate are common courtesy things, if you'll read my first post. Not being thrown out of the room I'm paying for without some warning is a common courtesy I would hope my roommate to extend to me. If I asked for a critique on my character I would have. Thank you.</p>
<p>bazcat89 - have you thought about applying for the healthy living dorm - most campuses usually have one - means no smoking, no drinking, etc. Be sure to contact your roommate as soon as you find out who it is. Warning sign is if they do not care to contact you back. That is what happened with my D. She spent a lot of nights sleeping on the sofas in the library or student center it was such an awkward situation. </p>
<p>Don't wait if you have issues - go see your RA right away and get a room switch rather than hoping that things will get better. </p>
<p>The other option is to look into a single room - you might want to speak to your parents about his option. If there is a big price differential you might want to try for a part time job during the school year to pay for it.</p>