<p>There is no right way to do something that you know is wrong</p>
<p>wow, those are some ridiculously high moral standards if you stay away from anyone who does anything wrong at all</p>
<p>oh. you are a parent. sorry, i thought you were in high school until i looked at your username. "Why would a kid care if someone cheated on taxes..."</p>
<p>ctnjpamom - I do not treat my friends and children the way a professor treats a student. There is no comparison. Colleges and high schools aren't looking to be your friend. They're trying to teach, and part of teaching is setting standards and maintaining those standards. If a student cannot take a test successfully without a cheat sheet hidden under the test paper, then the student can just take the consequences. If the college or high school does not impose consequences, then how does the college ever hope to teach students anything, or avoid penalizing, by comparison, students who don't cheat?</p>
<p>And by the way, liberal democrats are perfectly capable of upholding standards. Think of it as imposing fairness. I always kind of thought liberals had a penchant for fairness.</p>
<p>Hayden,</p>
<p>You missed the point. I suggest reading the post I was replying to and then reading my post again so that you have some context. I believe that it is wrong to turn our backs on a human being because he is imperfect. I never said there shouldn't be consequences. </p>
<p>Standards are one thing, self righteousness is another. I'd rather be the parent of a child who made a mistake than the parent of a child who turned his back on a friend because he made a mistake. </p>
<p>And I agree, democrats can uphold standards. But no one can do with such self righteous unforgiving indignation as a republican. And then expect compassion and understanding in return.</p>
<p>There's nothing you can do to "cure" a cheater, unless that cheater learns to stop on his/her own. Most of the kids on here who think cheating is okay are highschoolers, meaning that they can think logically and for themselves. They don't need someone nagging a finger in their face telling them, "CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER, LEARN NOW"</p>
<p>I'm sort of blown away by how many kids on this board think it's ok to cheat, from copying other's work, to having a cheat-sheet on a test. Personally, I think maturity is the issue. Cheating is a bad thing. Does it make you a bad person? No, but it does mean that you haven't learned responsibility for your own actions yet. You haven't learned to handle the cosequences of your actions, ie, get a poor grade on an assignment because you didn't do the work, or on a test because you doidn't study. If I were in admissions, as competitive as it is today, I would certainly take a responsible kid over one who proved he wasn't. I'm amazed that your HS doesn't feel they need to report this. My son's school is very tough on cheating. If you do it once, you're on probation. Twice, you're out the door, regardless of who your daddy is or how wonderful a kid you may be in other ways. It's a good policy, imo. It teaches kids that they are responsible for what they do.</p>
<p>"I'm sort of blown away by how many kids on this board think it's ok to cheat, from copying other's work, to having a cheat-sheet on a test. Personally, I think maturity is the issue. Cheating is a bad thing. Does it make you a bad person? No, but it does mean that you haven't learned responsibility for your own actions yet. You haven't learned to handle the cosequences of your actions, ie, get a poor grade on an assignment because you didn't do the work, or on a test because you doidn't study. If I were in admissions, as competitive as it is today, I would certainly take a responsible kid over one who proved he wasn't. I'm amazed that your HS doesn't feel they need to report this. My son's school is very tough on cheating. If you do it once, you're on probation. Twice, you're out the door, regardless of who your daddy is or how wonderful a kid you may be in other ways. It's a good policy, imo. It teaches kids that they are responsible for what they do."</p>
<p>One of the other posters mentioned that they will wonder when they see the F on the OP's transcript and probably ask the guidance counselor what the deal is. Then he/she will have no choice but to tell the college what the student did. IMO, it's probably best if the student come clean on their own before the school finds out and then wonders why they not only cheated but failed to let the college know what happened.</p>
<p>If the poster were my kid, I would definitely have him "come clean" as part of his learning to take responsibilty for his mistakes. It may or may not help him get admitted- it depends on the school. Even so, it would help him develop his character, which obviously is lacking in this area. Who wants to carry around the burden of fooling everyone? Much better to have a clean conscience, even if it means not getting into one's dream school.</p>
<p>At the very least, the poster needs to meet with his guidance counselor and plan a course of action. Colleges WILL check on this when they see that F on his mid-term grades.</p>
<p>I'd watch my neck with those ax murderer friends. There have been some long, hard nights in this house when I have felt like I was living with the Menendez brothers when my kids were doing time for their transgressions. </p>
<p>I think a parent/child relationship transcends many things. I don't think you would throw out your child for being a Republican, would you? Or wish he were an ax murderer? I don't have perfect kids (though none of them have had a penchant for axes) and I am sure all and any of them are going to make their mistakes, as I have and will continue to do. This is not about making a misjudgement or a mistake. This is about an entire philosophy of living. The difference between someone who does break the speed limit (yeah, I do) and someone who is always in that fast lane and is going to kill someone someday with that reckless behaviour. You may find sometime in your life that you are around people who play it fast and easy, and it is all amusing until they do something to you or yours. I just don't need to be around people like that. The fact that this student cheated is one thing, what is more disturbing is his attitude about it. If you read my post to him, however, you will notice that I basically told him his best course of action, and what could happen. No opinions on that as much as just the facts from my experiece. No hanging and beating and flogging. But would I want to hire this cheat? Or be around him as a friend? And I would be most disappointed if he were my child. Disown him, no. But it would color the relationship.</p>
<p>You can either be honest or dishonest. There is no such thing as being mostly honest. If you tell a lie sometimes, no one knows when you will next tell one, so people won't trust you. The same goes for cheating. If you cheat sometimes, no one knows when you will cheat again. </p>
<p>Furthermore, one lie/cheat/bit of dishonesty can be bad news for a long time. If someone stole from you, you caught the person, and he then said, "I've learned my lesson," would you trust him with the PIN number to your bank account? Most likely not. It would probably be a very long while before you trusted him again, even if he were a good friend. Don't cheat.</p>
<p><<i'd watch="" my="" neck="" with="" those="" ax="" murderer="" friends.="" there="" have="" been="" some="" long,="" hard="" nights="" in="" this="" house="" when="" i="" felt="" like="" was="" living="" the="" menendez="" brothers="" kids="" were="" doing="" time="" for="" their="" transgressions.="">></i'd></p>
<p>Well, I can honestly say I don't know what that feels like. My home is not a prison. I never felt the need to ground my kids. </p>
<p><<i think="" a="" parent="" child="" relationship="" transcends="" many="" things.="" i="" don't="" you="" would="" throw="" out="" your="" for="" being="" republican,="" you?="">></i></p><i think="" a="" parent="" child="" relationship="" transcends="" many="" things.="" i="" don't="" you="" would="" throw="" out="" your="" for="" being="" republican,="" you?="">
<p>Not so long as there was hope of him coming to his senses. </p>
<p><<or wish="" he="" were="" an="" ax="" murderer?="" i="" don't="" have="" perfect="" kids="" (though="" none="" of="" them="" had="" a="" penchant="" for="" axes)="" and="" am="" sure="" all="" any="" are="" going="" to="" make="" their="" mistakes,="" as="" will="" continue="" do.="" this="" is="" not="" about="" making="" misjudgement="" or="" mistake.="">></or></p>
<p>Sure it is. The OP misjudged a situation and made a mistake. He was afraid of the consequences of getting a bad grade but he failed to fully consider the consequences of cheating. Classic error in judgment.</p>
<p><< This is about an entire philosophy of living.>></p>
<p>What? His entire philosophy of living is determined by one this mistake? Sorry, that is way too harsh and inhuman to me. He's too young to have an entire philsophy of living. I'm not even sure that I have one. </p>
<p><< The difference between someone who does break the speed limit (yeah, I do)and someone who is always in that fast lane and is going to kill someone someday with that reckless behaviour.>></p>
<p>Are the people you kill any less dead because you only speed occasionally? Your sense of morality is astounding. The difference between the OP and you is that he is contrite and will likely never do it again. You are not. Besides, following your own reasoning, cheating occasionally would be just as okay as speeding occasionally. </p>
<p><< You may find sometime in your life that you are around people who play it fast and easy, and it is all amusing until they do something to you or yours. I just don't need to be around people like that. >></p>
<p>"People like that." lol Why do I have visions of Archie Bunker and his inverted sense of the values? Oh, and better fast and easy than slow and tight.</p>
<p><<the fact="" that="" this="" student="" cheated="" is="" one="" thing,="" what="" more="" disturbing="" his="" attitude="" about="" it.="">></the></p>
<p>I think his attitude is appropriate. I think you are confused by other posters. Try to stay focused.</p>
<p><< If you read my post to him, however, you will notice that I basically told him his best course of action, and what could happen. No opinions on that as much as just the facts from my experiece. No hanging and beating and flogging. But would I want to hire this cheat? Or be around him as a friend? >></p>
<p>Labeling him a "cheat" tells every reader here more about you than it does about him. These are impressionable kids here who make mistakes as they grow up, just like all of us did. Take your moral high road and speed home to your own poor kids. Don't spew your vile negative hopeless namecalling here. Kids are hope. </p>
<p><<and i="" would="" be="" most="" disappointed="" if="" he="" were="" my="" child.="" disown="" him,="" no.="" but="" it="" color="" the="" relationship.="">></and></p>
<p>Thanks for making me feel like a better parent. There is nothing my child could do that would "color" our relationship. He is my child. I am his mother. That is unconditional. And yes, even if he were an ax murderer. Because I would still go see him in prison. Even if I had to go in spirit form. haha</p>
<p>I do hope that you are kidding about all this.</p>
</i>
<p>Collegefear (and crichessill), if you're still reading this, I hope you understand that reactions like jamimoms are not uncommon. While I may see you as an immature and irresponsible (with a capital I) child that really isn't ready for college, much less a top university, she sees you as a "cheat" . That's the real world, guys. Adults don't give a whole lot of slack once you're past the age of knowing better. "But mom, everybody else does," doesn't fly anymore. Time to grow up. Take your lumps like a man/(or woman, if you are) and learn from this experience. Your attitude sounds to me like a case of arrested development, and reeks of entitlement.</p>
<p>I have to agree with ASAP. I don't understand why the OP cheated to get an A anyway. I don't think a B in the class would have killed their admissions chances either. Then again, now they risk not getting admitted at all. I wonder whatever happened to Blair Hornstine after her plagiarism. Did she end up going to school somewhere else after Harvard rescinded her admission?</p>
<p>How do you mistakenly cheat?</p>
<p>Ellen, I agree. Don't cheat. However, it's already been done. It's sort of like thinking the solution to a teenage pregnancy is to say "you shouldn't have had sex." This person has to deal with reality, he doesn't have the luxury of going back in time nor is all the moral indignation in the world going to undo what happened. The hardest situations of all are the ones we wish didn't happen. But there they are, demanding to be dealt with. I guess I don't feel that a young person who is seeking help and guidance should be met with judgmentalism and rejection. I find it sort of heartwrenching to think that there are children growing up in homes where that is the norm.</p>
<p>alright, if i didnt make it clear yesterday, i am sorry again. i was wrong about everything. so please leave me out of this, now</p>
<p>You don't mistakenly cheat. You make a mistake by cheating. I agree you then have to pay the consequences. However, I disagree that all of your relationships (including your relationship with your own mother) as well as your future endeavors are thereby and irrevocably "colored". Geez. </p>
<p>Blair Hornstein I believe ended up in England, maybe Oxford.</p>
<p>who is she ? blair hornstein</p>
<p>Short version, Blair Hornstein was an A+ student with an acceptance to Harvard. She sued her school district to be sole valedictorian because she did not want to share th honor with another student. It came to light that she plagarized on one of her papers as a result harvard rescinded her admission to the class of 2007</p>