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<p>“Victims of our own culture”? I don’t see how desiring a long-term, committed relationship is oppressing females. I’m getting a good LAC education, am I missing something?</p>
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<p>Love is a fluke and the reason everyone’s so obsessed with it is because of being brainwashed by entertainment. Love is a social construct. Romantic feelings can be explained by science. Centuries ago people only got married for monetary, political, or social status reasons as marriages were arranged.
By all means, if any of you desire long term relationships, go ahead. I don’t think anyone is oppressed by such things, but many are unrealistic about it.
In before feminism or womyn’s rights.</p>
<p>“moving in together doesn’t sound as fun or exciting if we do it before marriage”</p>
<p>oh god.</p>
<p>Wow, way to quote something I DIDN’T SAY.</p>
<p>My original quote:
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<p>Way different than “moving in together doesn’t sound as fun or exciting if we do it before marriage”. I’m not talking about the excitement of moving in together. I’m talking about the excitement of getting married, which involves the privilege and social expectation of moving in together. The excitement of which is taken away if you are already living together. So, shut up.</p>
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<p>And you wonder why I called you defensive.</p>
<p>that IS how you worded it tho</p>
<p>w/e, you said you had ur reasons. plus, it has nothing to do with ur original question.</p>
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<p>TA, perhaps I misunderstood your statement, but I don’t agree with your reasoning. Love (already an ambiguous term) is not just a “social construct”, but scientists long ago have found certain neurotransmitters associated with partner bonding. While some animals just mate and leave, there are others that have lasting relationships because of brain chemicals, humans being included. If you think in terms of survival, having a committed male partner and committed female partner allows a better chance of the offspring surviving. If you claim that love is a social construct, then you’re also claiming that the love between a mother and child is also a fluke, which also doesn’t make sense.</p>
<p>Centuries ago people got married for monetary reasons, but who said they remained faithful in their marriages, and didn’t have a lover on the side?</p>
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<p>It was probably just for sex. The person they were forced to marry was probably old, ugly, or incompatible somehow and therefore not attractive. </p>
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<p>Child and parent love is different. Who said that all parents love their children? Animals commit infanticide all the time. So have humans.</p>
<p>TA I totally agree with your previous statements. Too many people look at the surface level of what is being written, and not LOOKING deeper than surface level.</p>
<p>It’s your choice… It’s good that you wanna finish studies before getting into marriage… Just to warn you, living with someone whether he’s a boyfriend or a husband needs some adjustments… It doesn’t mean that you have dated him for years now, will give you a happy ever after story, especially you just have a Long Distance relationship… Ask yourself, d’you think you’re ready enough to manage a family? However there would be no perfect answer for that question… Unless you’re already into it… But let me ask you, What is more important, Career or Love Life? Anyway it’s you personal choice… There would be consequences and I hope you’ll get through them…</p>
<p>Women love weddings. Sure, why not.</p>
<p>First you get to have an engagment party and be the center of attention for 6 months or so, the bacherelorette party and all that.</p>
<p>Then you get to plan the wedding, the day all about you, and dress in white, and have all your friends cry about it, etc.</p>
<p>Then you get to be ‘the newlywed’ for about a year.</p>
<p>Then you get preggers, and you’re the center of attention again, with your friends and the baby shower and all that mush for 9 months.</p>
<p>Hell, then you get preggers again. Center of attention again for 9 months.</p>
<p>Then the next year the excitement kind of fades. You already have a house, kids, a husband, all that. You get a divorce, and you get the kids, the house, the car, and basically get to live off the man’s salary for the next 18 years or more, all because of how our court system is set up. If you want to find a new guy or get married again, whatever, the option is there.</p>
<p>So what am I talking about? Hell yeah, get married!</p>
<p>(And to you guys out there: RUN!)</p>
<p>I’m not really looking forward to planning a wedding…first, isn’t it traditional for the parents of the woman to pay for everything? Also, I would assume that planning a wedding is extremely stressful/tedious. Expensive, stressful, sounds like any woman’s dream.</p>
<p>PS to TA: Mothers are, similar to committed relationships, committed to their children because of brain chemicals. If the child is not near the mother during its critical period of development then no bonding occurs. Some may think that getting a c section instead of natural birth prevents chemical bonding from occurring, so mothers do not feel obligated to love their babies. Sometimes mothers learn to love their babies anyway (partially why adoption works). In part this is why there are prisons where mothers can be with their babies (<a href=“http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93548405[/url]”>In Ohio, Inmate Mothers Care For Babies In Prison : NPR), bonding can occur. I would argue that parent/child bonding is not significantly different than partner bonding, both are in part due to biological reasons and are not social constructs. </p>
<p>Dunno, I just find it really interesting. /nerd spout</p>
<p>
There’s a hysterical youtube cartoon along these lines; see [YouTube</a> - I Guess You’ll Do](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs]YouTube”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs)</p>
<p>[YouTube</a> - Curse of Bridezilla](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEL3yyzwRiI]YouTube”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEL3yyzwRiI)</p>
<p>Even better</p>
<p>I wouldn’t recommend getting married right after graduation. I came close to marrying my high school sweetheart when I was in my second year of college and I’m so thankful that the relationship failed. You change so much from high school to college graduation that it’s hard to predict whether you’d be compatible in the long run. Marriage is more then simply being in love and getting along.</p>
<p>If you’re still together after college, I’d suggest living with each other to see if you’re able to handle the real world with minimal problems. Living together while having a career really shows your true colors and whether or not the arrangement would be a good fit. If it works out after a year or so, it may be a good idea to then consider marriage.</p>
<p>I’ve had many friends that have gotten married only to end in divorce. They all married either after high school or after college.</p>
<p>peter_parker, that was hilarious - i seriously laughed for like two minutes. sadly it’s mostly true, and how a lot of marriages end up today. however, i’m not popping out any babies until i’ve been married 5-6 years at least… so my “attention” fix might die off a little quicker. </p>
<p>just kidding, i don’t really care about the attention. the responses to this thread have been really interesting… some people are really passionate about the topic and think it’s ultra stupid no matter WHAT the situation is, which is intriguing.</p>
<p>I’ll just put out semi-personal experience.</p>
<p>My parents dated for 8 years before they got married. They’ll have been married for 22yrs this November.</p>
<p>Horrible idea.</p>
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<p>I know you’re saying that now, but since you’re already dead-set on getting married right out, I’m not sure that’s going to be the reality.</p>
<p>If I was already dead-set on getting married right out, I don’t think I would have made this thread. And I don’t think getting married early necessarily correlates with having kids early. You can only be married without kids once. I want to enjoy that time. No matter what age I am when I get married.</p>