GFs visiting plebes?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Naval Academy - Annapolis
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<p>Sigh. OK, if the gf does not come to PPW with us, is there another weekend she would be allowed to visit? And how does an unaccompanied 18 year old check into a hotel room? Do Annapolis hotels bend the rules for this? Do they stay at the Navy Lodge?</p>

<p>Double sigh. I am trying to get Spider and gf to buy into the idea of just Mom and Dad coming for PPW by convincing them that she can come up another weekend and have exclusive time with him. Possible? Good idea? Bad idea? We enjoy her, it's just that we want our time and she'll want hers. We won't make a big deal of it if she comes to PPW with us.</p>

2

<p>Oh boy. I don't have an answer. I think once they are 18, they can check into a hotel. Renting a car is a different thing altogether.</p>

<p>She has to be related to stay at the Navy Lodge, I think. Is she in Texas w/the rest of ya'll?</p>

3

<p>Ok...I'll take a stab at this from a plebe candidate's perspective. I don't know about the logistics, but I am pretty sure she must be related (check Navy Lodge's website). </p>

<p>However, I am more concerned about another issue, that is...of her going in the first place. May I ask, how long have they been dating? How would you describe their relationship? How do they feel about each other? Are they best friends? The list can go on and on. My best friend for the past four years happens to be the girl that I am dating today. We have been "dating" I guess for about two years (not exactly eternity, but come on...a pretty significant portion of our teenage years). Like I said, she is my best friend and I truly love her. We see eachother everyday. I often don't get home until sometime between 11 and 12. My parents understand our feelings and support our relationship. They love her, and her parents feel the same. She and I just got back from staying in Pensacola, FL (cradle of Naval Aviation. Honestly, I don't think I'd rather take a vacation anywhere else.)...Yes, alone. Does this mean that our parents are insane and don't care about us? ABSOLUTELY NOT! They just know how we feel about eachother and know that our time is short. </p>

<p>We (my parents, my girlfriend, and myself) are leaving Sat. morning to hang out in Williamsburg, VA for a few days. She and I will go see D.C. together on Monday while my parents do something in Williamsburg. We are very much looking forward to PPW. I couldn't imagine anyone with the nerve to tell either of us that she wasn't welcome to come with my parents. My parents and I have a VERY healthy and loving relationship, and they hate not having every second available to spend with me. However, they understand and respect that as an 18 yr old male, I need to do what I need to do. Let's face it, I love my parents and love spending time with them, but there comes a point in every young man's/woman's life where he or she should be responsible for allocating their own time. My parents told me it was ok to call HER instead of them when I get my phone calls. They know that I need to talk to her more than I need to talk to them. They'll do just fine. And so will you parents if that is the case.</p>

<p>I know that not every relationship is so close between guys and gals our age, but if your son's/daughter's is...then I would think long and hard about your decision. I know it is called Parent's weekend, but who really needs the R&R after Plebe Summer? You or your plebe? So, I'd say ask HIM. If he thinks it would help, then great, problem solved. However, if she is immature, hard to get along with, doesn't handle I-Day appropriately (I assume she is going), then perhaps she can stay home and fix a nice turkey dinner for Thanksgiving. And if you like the girl and she is nice, what could it hurt?</p>

4

<p>She wouldn't have a problem staying at a hotel in Annapolis. Navy lodge would probably be the cheapest option, but it's across the river at the naval station...not within reasonable walking distance.</p>

<p>A lot of my classmates had the gfs come PPW, and from what they told me, they spent the majority of the weekend with them...not family.</p>

<p>The only problem I can see is time. Unless the rumors are true, and the entire Brigade gets full weekends, but no weekday liberty, starting in the fall, I wouldn't expect any weekends (read: overnights) during the first semester. If that proves true, then 2010 truly had the last 'real Plebe year.' Otherwise, the latest he could be out would be 2200 on Saturday nights, with no town liberty on Sundays. (Though, that might be MORE of a comfort to you as a parent.)</p>

<p>Spidermom, don't you head to Annapolis today?</p>

5

<p>SPIDERMOM!! Cant wait to meet you guys in Annapolis Mon/Wed night. Have a great trip! On the gf issue.. maybe feelings will change between now and then?? Could she go up for a Football game?</p>

6

<p>Having just gone through plebe year, with gf in tow, will add my thoughts as well-for what they are worth.</p>

<p>I have come to the conclusion the most important thing you can do is to let your Mid be your guide, and in that regard, will second what was posted above about having that conversation with your son.</p>

<p>I would add to that having another crutial coversation...parents, mid, siblings and gf....all together.... as to what the expections are, and how best to share very limited time without tearing your plebe apart in the process. Setting down some basic guidelines that can respect both "family" time and "couples" time, as well as "friends" and "peers" time, will save a lot of heartache on everyone's part in the long run. We had to learn this lesson the hard way, so in retrospect, reaching a common understanding before you find yourself in a difficult struggle will save lots of angst and heartache.</p>

<p>The thing is, you will find that your Mid will value home and family more than ever- the level of appreciation for family goes up immeasurably- and the trap for them is that they will be trying hard to please everyone- and easily torn in the process between all the people they care about. When it happens, it can break your heart that you put your Mid in that position in the first place....</p>

<p>so I urge everyone to have that conversation before hand- now is a good time- and plan accordingly. If it is to be a "joint visit," setting time for "family" and then "couples" is a good thing......even if the "gf" is considered "family"....mom and dad, sisters and brothers, friends and gf's.... all want their time....and not always with mom and dad in tow.....and on the flip side, not always with the gf in tow either.</p>

<p>as for the "three phone calls", we worked that out ahead of time- #1 and #3 were to mom and dad and siblings (speaker phone helps), and #2 was to gf (who lived a state away).... any "news" was shared immediately with everyone after the calls- and that worked out great!</p>

<p>Congrats to all heading down to annapolis-
wishing you all a safe journey-
savor every minute of it!</p>

7

<p>DMeix is right, from what my Firstie tells me, only 1/C with 3 or more stripes will be allowed to have a weekday liberty night...haven't heard about how the weekends are going to work.</p>

<p>One thing to remember to tell the gf...PDA is frowned upon so be discreet especially since it sounds like things are getting stricter.</p>

8

<p>Spidermom - PPW is still a ways off. Our son's gf didn't come w/ us to I-day as we knew there wouldn't be much time w/ our plebe for any of us. No point in that, really. </p>

<p>We did, however, bring her along to PPW. It was good for all concerned as we knew both of them would benefit & we'd be appreciated all the more for bringing her. The important thing, as I'm sure you'll agree, is what is best for the plebe. By the time PPW rolls around, all y'all will have a better idea what that is.</p>

<p>Even if she does go w/ you to PPW, most of their time will pretty much be together w/ you anyway. We gave the kids a lot of space, but since plebes can't drive, they were stuck w/ us! haha!</p>

<p>In any case, there certainly are football games that she could attend & probably have some time w/ her plebe. That would likely be more fun & less stressful for them. I don't think our son really "let his hair down" (ha!) until well after PPW.</p>

<p>Hope y'all have a memorable I-day. What a special time! Best wishes to you & all the plebe parents! Hope all the gf/bf issues fall into place smoothly.</p>

9

<p>

[quote="atrmom, post:7, topic:352574"]

DMeix is right, from what my Firstie tells me, only 1/C with 3 or more stripes will be allowed to have a weekday liberty night...haven't heard about how the weekends are going to work.</p>

<p>One thing to remember to tell the gf...PDA is frowned upon so be discreet especially since it sounds like things are getting stricter.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>CAPT Klein, the Commandant, is a memeber of the Class of 1981. It appears that the rules may be reverting back to the way they were during the 1970s & 80s when she was a midshipman.</p>

10

<p>Yes, it does sounds like USNA is going 'old school'. </p>

<p>There's a Plebe Dance in the fall that might be a better option for the incoming girlfriends (and boyfriends) to visit. No conflicts there, this is strictly for the kids.</p>

11

<p>Thank you all. This is much more fun that the tattoo thread!</p>

<p>GF is here with us now in Annapolis. She is sweet, mature, and seems very much in love with Spider who I know loves her right back. They've been together for about 14 months, during much of which Spider was at NMMI. She is literally the girl next door, living one street away! She plans to come to MD for college next year.</p>

<p>I have no problem with her coming and I know Spider wants it so she will. I just thought that maybe they'd have a better time coming for a fb game where she could have him all to herself and he might not be so exhausted. That in turn would give the Spiderparents a chance to have the boy alone for a little while (a chance we haven't had once all summer, boo hoo). Probably, she'll do PPW and a FB weekend if I had to predict. </p>

<p>She was good during the NMMI year about not making demands on his time during mandatory study. My thought is that by showing her as much about the Academy and the Navy that she'll understand what Spider's committment is, how hard he'll be working, and that she'll continue to support him not make demands.</p>

<p>Weather here is great, not too hot except wow, walking the sea wall was like the Bataan death march! We had steamers at Buddy's, ice cream at Chick and Ruth's, bought shirts at Pepper's. Mid store does open to us on Monday. Cliff Smallwood is signing copies of his book on I-Day! Widh I'd brought my tattered copy. Sign are going up, "Welcome class of 2011".</p>

<p>I'll see many of you soon! PM me for cell phone number if you like. We'll be doing a guided tour of the Capitol Monday afternoon but should be back in time for the festivities at Loew's!</p>

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<p>SM, if I were you, I'd encourage SB's girlfriend to come for the plebe dance in September and a football game and save PPW for you and Dad. Your boy's going to be stressed and tired and he may or may not be able to spend as much time with you as you want. Plebes have duty and watch even during PPW so he may have to stay on the Yard for part of the weekend. I think they'll have more fun if they know their time is all their own-without having to share it with anyone else. The new found 'freedom' ( ie-not being yelled at 24/7) during PPW can be unsettling for the Plebes. </p>

<p>Enjoy today, it looks like it's going to be a scorcher on Wednesday!</p>

13

<p>Last year, the mate was piped down for PPW so everyone could spend all the time possible with parents. I dunno if it's changed this year...</p>

14

<p>Given the other changes, it might. I remember my brother (USNA 87) had to stand watch on the Saturday of his PPW and I know my son had people during his PPW who did as well...just something to be prepared for.</p>

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<p>I am so envious you are already there. I'm sure the place will be buzzing by Monday . We are not coming in until Tues. afternoon. If you have a chance have dinner at the Chart House. Great food, a little pricey but well worth it. I have reservations there on tues. night. One last meal for the boy before I day. I saw where Wed. is supposed to be the hottest day of the week in Annap. Go figure. It returns to low to mid 80's the rest of the week if you believe weather . com.</p>

16

<p>You have GOT to be kidding me!
I can't understand for the life of me why anybody would come here tied down to a GF [or BF for that matter].</p>

<ol>
<li><p>It's really hard to concentrate during Plebe summer/year. [Well, I guess not that hard to concentrate since you have virtually no time to think about anything else] In any event, I would not want somebody pining away for me outside the gate.</p></li>
<li><p>Let's face it . . . I'm not planning on getting married as soon as I graduate. [What's the divorce rate for those getting married in the Chapel right out of school? I don't know, but I've heard its HIGH!!] We don't really have a good exposure to life in here; I'm going to complicate by having somebody constantly remind me of how much they love me and want me, etc. , et.c, etc.!! No way!</p></li>
<li><p>I'm a boy playing around in a man suit. I want to experience some things before I get tied down!!</p></li>
<li><p>I've seen some of the mids around here who have local GFs. I don't know, for sure, if the GF is from the area or not, but, man, they are on the yard a lot and it seems like every bit of free time the mid has . . . well, he is spending it with her. I suppose the payback on investment can be worth it, but sometimes a man [boy] has to breathe!!!</p></li>
<li><p>GF [BFs] can be a source of trouble. I heard of one mid who's GF has an apartment near the yard. He's always over there. Guess he didn't sign the pledge . . . .</p></li>
<li><p>GFs have their own agenda. They will be living a life outside the yard. They will be exposed to others that are having a good time, partying, etc. What, she want's to hang around a bunch of dry, straight [supposedly], mids who have to project the proper image. [Getting tougher around here as it is!] More power to her but I wouldn't want to be the one that tells her: Sorry, honey, I have to study Chemistry all this weekend and, oh, by the way, I have watch at 0200 and, oh, by the way, I have to do SMT, etc., etc., etc. Oh, and don't forget, I'm moving to Pensacola when I graduate whether y ou like it or not and, oh, by the way, I may have to move to Japan after that and, . . . . well, you get the message.</p></li>
<li><p>Number one reason for not having a GF? This place ain't THAT fun so, when you ge ta chance to have agood time with the guys [and some gals too] well, why wouldn't you want obe able to take advantage of that? I'm only 20, I don't want to be tied down yet.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Just my thoughts.
Good luck though to those who prefer a steady supply to those who would rather take their chances.
Different strokes for different folks!</p>

17

<p>JT, I sure wish Spider thought like you!</p>

<p>Blackhawk, we are fans of the Charthouse from way back. Great minds think alike..we have Tuesday 7 p.m. reservations there.</p>

<p>Had lunch at Pusser's landing, very reasonable and great soft shell crab. I had one of their rum drinks in honor of Jamzmom! Arrrrgh matey! Note to self: next time, do not have the rum before doing all the walking!</p>

<p>Hooked up with dmeix for dinner/dessert tonight. We picked his brain about all things USNA. Thanks, Dave! He showed us this awesomne gelato place, too :)</p>

<p>Spider is starting to get his game face on already. He's quiet by nature, but even quieter and a bit grim right now.</p>

18

<p>Spidermom, he's probably going to be that way until I-Day, especially the night before. Our son isn't quiet by nature, but he sure was the night before and the morning of. Ironically, we met his soon-to-be Plebe Summer roommate while we were wandering around DTA on the Tuesday night before I-Day. Two plebes who'd come in from Colorado were out on the town and we started chatting. Imagine my surprise when we got our first call! </p>

<p>Be sure to let us know Spider's company and platoon!</p>

<p>Give Griffin's a try for lunch or dinner...they have the best Maryland Crab Soup.. </p>

<p>You also have to have breakfast at Chik and Ruths and if you get there at the right time, you'll see everyone stand to say the Pledge!</p>

19

<p>
[quote]
I can't understand for the life of me why anybody would come here tied down to a GF [or BF for that matter].

[/quote]
</p>

<p>There is a lot of truth in what you posted, that is for sure....</p>

<p>but the one thing I have come to realize is that young men, and women, experience the academy in many different ways- each one as unique as the person experiencing it. While all of you start out on a relatively equal footing as "plebes," some will experience it through the lens of 17 years, some at 20, and some even just shy of 23! The path leading up to the academy has been just as diverse- easy for some, a tougher journey for others. I often wonder how the 2 youngsters of the class of 2010 see the experience, especially in light of the purple hearts on their chests.</p>

<p>So like everything else in life, it is all about balance....
and finding the right balance between the demands of academy/navy life, family life, personal time, friends, etc.... not an easy task, yet one of those milestones that you have to go through no matter where you are, the yard or St. Elsewhere. While some will find solace in friends, some will find it in a significant other....others in family, others in books or studies or video games. And while that may be hard for some to understand, let alone accept, who is to say what is the right way?</p>

<p>While I appreciate all you have to say, (and despite my own worries about "distractions,") I have learned, perhaps the hard way, that people really do "step up" when they need to- if they have the desire and motivation to do so. So I guess it brings me back full circle- that finding the right balance is key....too much of anything is not a good thing!</p>

<p>Then again....more than one person has mentioned that if the Navy thought you needed a wife, they would issue you one..... so what do I know anyway??!!! :o</p>

20

<p>My bro graduated from the academy in '06 and I haven't heard of a single pre-existing relationship working for longer than halfway through plebe year. They will be apart for months at a time and lets face it, it will get really boring to stay attached to someone who is hundreds if not thousands of miles away. My mom said that if a girlfriend had wanted to come to my bro's PPW she would have probably killed them both. PPW is a time to be with your family and celebrate your accomplishments, not spend time with a girl who you will probably break-up with.</p>