I (M,17) haven’t been doing too academically well for the past year (almost had summer school as a Junior) and now I’m a Senior. Here are the issues I’m having:
I feel like I’m supposed to be in a grade lower. I don’t understand some of my classes and I feel like I’m completely unable to talk to anyone about it. Like I literally feel that I would do better if I was a junior or Sophomore again.
I feel so lonely and depressed when it comes to graduation. I hate my name (because it brings back too many memories) and I don’t like being the center of attention. I feel that if I can’t use my own name, then I can’t walk the stage at all. Even when I told my grandma that I didn’t wanna walk the stage, her response was “So you’re gonna deny us this?” I feel like they don’t truly understand my thinking and reasons. Even my mom degraded me and told me no one would want to be my friend (I only have like 3 senior friends. The rest are all younger)
My counselor makes me more depressed. She just keeps bringing up my grades and I feel extremely sad about it. I feel insecure and overwhelmed by my classes. I’m even failing a freshman class (I can’t physically do PE so I was given Journalism) and she hasn’t done anything but tell me I need to do my work. I literally went and broke down in tears in her office last year after a parent-counselor conference about my grades
Also need to mention, I do want to graduate. The only reason why though is so it gives me an excuse to see my dad again who I haven’t talked to since I was 5. I have his wife’s number and I plan to invite them but I know it’s not gonna go well over with my family.
Like I don’t know if I have a learning problem like ADHD/ADD or if I’m just stupid but I’m tired of it. I want to do better but I feel overwhelmed by everything. The only thing keeping me together is the thought of seeing my dad but even that overwhelms me. What do I even do??? Who do I even talk to when my counselor doesn’t even care?
I hope someone can give you some good advice, because you sound very sad. I think you need to get out, go for a walk and try not to listen to people who make you feel worse. I don’t think guidance counselors at school are the same as therapists, so I wouldn’t rely on them for good advice, but they should be able to arrange testing for any learning disabilities, so if you won’t a diagnosis, you are going to have to badger them a bit to get it done, and don’t take no for an answer.
I am very sorry to hear about your predicaments. I don’t have any worthy advice. However, do relieve yourself from the burden of the thoughts that you are doomed because of your HS grades, as after HS, you can work, learn to live independently, and decide if you would like to attend a community college later. I understand that you miss your father, try contacting him regardless of the situation of the graduation. Echoing BornMe’s point on school guidance counselors; perhaps she just does not know how to help, which might seem to be uncaring.
The road forward is a very long one for you; please look ahead and persevere.
You have a lot on your plate. Feeling like you should be in a grade or two younger might be because you a little delayed in your maturity (lots of kids are “late bloomers”) or if it’s because you feel overwhelmed and zooming toward graduation when you’re not ready or a combination of the two. It might also be because you have an undiagnosed learning difference and/or mental health issue. The past couple of years has been tough on everyone and especially tough on kids who don’t have the support they need.
Counselors often have giant caseloads and are under a lot of pressure to do college counseling over other kinds of counseling. And not all counselors are created equal.
Your school or school district should have a psychologist as well as counselors. If you’re not getting the help you need from your counselor, make an appointment with the psychologist.
You can get tested for learning differences and what’s going on with your grades and also talk through being overwhelmed, etc… Hopefully your mom is supportive of you getting help for everything that’s going on in your life, but initially focusing on academics can be a foot in the door to talking about emotional and mental health stuff and it might make it easier to get her on board to speak with the school psychologist or and outside counselor.