<p>see my pm.</p>
<p>It's just so hard because she was such a sweet and nice girl. I want to message her and tell her that I miss her, but I know that I have to hold myself back. I still want to cry sometimes, but I keep my composure. I'm really lonely and feel empty.</p>
<p>So what should I say to her when I tell her that we shouldn't talk any more? Should I say something like, "maybe one day we will be together again, but that time is not now?"</p>
<p>That would be very cheesy... in fact, it doesn't sound sincere. Just end it like you would a friendship.</p>
<p>If you miss her so much, why did you break up with her? I think you that deep down, you know that you don't really want to be with her and are just making excuses because you pity her. My advice: Forget her. Keeping in touch just because you feel sorry for her won't do either of you any good. Trust your instinct. Besides, how are you so sure that she's still devastated by the breakup? She's got other things to worry about, doesn't she? I'm thinking this: the fact that you wanted to date other girls the moment you set foot on campus shows that your relationship wasn't strong to begin with. Seriously, let her go. It was probably not meant to be.</p>
<p>Oh yea, to help her heal (if indeed she is devastated-- you can't be sure though): tell her it's OK to see other people. I know she knows this, but your reinforcement might help.</p>
<p>Also, where do you go to college?</p>
<p>The last time I talked to her, she told me multiple times "I need you to tell me that it's over." I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess that's what I have to do next.</p>
<p>Lol, you'll regret if she breaks up with you first. Do you really want to get dumped?</p>
<p>Perhaps you're giving yourself too much credit by assuming that she wants or needs you.</p>
<p>oh, i'm aware of it. i guess i would find solace in the fact that she didn't really want to be with me that bad, so then that would free me up from feeling bad and i would get over her and find someone else.</p>
<p>Yes, that's the right attitude to have.</p>
<p>so i sent her a message a few days ago explaining that i wasn't sure if i was done with us yet and that we should spend a time period apart, but i didn't tell her the time period. i told her that she should go and see if there is someone better for her and that i will be doing the same and if either of us find someone better, than that's what will happen. only time will tell what happens.</p>
<p>she replied that this had made her think too. she said that she is looking for someone better too and as much as i hated to hear it, she said she realized that there are other guys besides me. she closed the response with
"one thing is for sure no one can ever take a way what we had with each other and no one can replace it. just keep in touch and keep this openess so we can know whats going on. i wish you nothing but happiness.
♥always & always"
so that made me feel surprisingly good. it sucks thinking about her being with another guy, but i completely knew that this was a consequence, but it made me feel so damn good that she understands.</p>
<p>Omg, you two are so sappy. <em>LOL</em></p>
<p>what is the truth?</p>
<p>It doesn't sound like you are in too bad of a position right now. From experience, I know that it really does hurt to think about her being with someone else, but ironically, for me it was harder to hear her talking about me being with some one else. Best of luck to you.</p>
<p>well, she called me today and her grandma had a stroke. she is semi-alert and i think she is suffering from memory loss. she is home right now. on the drive home, she called me and was crying hysterically. she said she had to go and i told her to call me when she got home. well, she called back 2 minutes later and we actually had a really good conversation. for the last 30 miles home, we were laughing on the phone and i cheered her up. this time on the phone, she felt more like a best friend than a gf, even though some of those feelings were still lingering.</p>
<p>i'm going to go see her tonight for a few minutes. i can keep it strictly as friends. the thing i'm worried about is her saying things like "i miss you." i don't know what i should do if she says that. i think i'm going to talk to her before and say that we HAVE to act as friends. anyone have some advice for me?</p>
<p>My advice is don't see her. She's seems to be still carrying a torch for you, and your calls, etc. also are encouraging her. You're keeping her on a string, which isn't fair to her. </p>
<p>You see yourself as offering a shoulder of comfort, but she's seeing this all as encouragement that things aren't over between you. She deserves better. You aren't doing her any favors.</p>
<p>i don't know if she is still interested like that. on the phone it sounded like it wasn't, but i hope in person will be the same. hell, she told me about her bad date night her sorority had friday and i liked hearing about it.</p>
<p>i hope to be her shoulder of comfort and that only.</p>
<p>I couldn't disagree more with northstarmom. If you have the maturity to keep to the "friends" schtick, then do that. There is never a need to just "cut somebody off".</p>
<p>I have remained friends with all of my major ex-girlfriends, except one from 8th grade who was just a raving lunatic. I could do this because our relationship was based on being friends first and lovers second. In the end, we just like being around each other and are fundamentally comfortable, even if we're not sleeping together. In some cases, they're among my best friends.</p>
<p>Don't feel like you have to give anything up... just don't get hurt when you find out she has another boyfriend.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Don't feel like you have to give anything up... just don't get hurt when you find out she has another boyfriend.
[/quote]
I think I'm past that, at least for now. I told her to get out and look for people.</p>
<p>Well, I texted her and asked if she still wanted to meet up and she said, "I need to see you." I told her ok, but I told her that we have to remember why we are meeting up since it was the first time meeting up as just friends, nothing more. Well, she replied, "Yea, nevermind, I'll be ok. I'll be fine on my own. Thanks for your help today." So, I didn't meet up with her. You all called it; she wanted to see me to do that stuff. </p>
<p>Her grandma is doing better and they say she will probably recover, but her grandpa who has been in ailing health is now doing bad and says he is done with treatment. Her life isn't so good right now.</p>
<p>This story is starting to sound more and more made-up.</p>
<p>i think you should comfort her and be there for her if u care about her (which of course you do). but always remind her that you guys are friends, whether its through words or actions. never ever give her the slightest leeway, or even a sliver of hope. </p>
<p>because i know what its like to be lead on and strung along. and its not fun. and even the slightest most innocent things can be viewed as hope in her eyes</p>