<p>Pfft, girls probably aren’t more forward because we’re not stupid; us getting rejected probably doesn’t feel any better than you getting rejected. And like other people have said, if he was interested, there’s a good chance he would’ve asked you out already. Why go through unnecessary trouble and ask out someone who may or may not be interested and possibly risk rejection?</p>
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<p>Humanity is lucky that at least half of us don’t think this way. Too bad this half is considered “stupid” for doing so.</p>
<p>No, guys don’t ask out girls for the good of humanity. They do it for the good of the contents of their pants. Such is the state of our society currently and that state is clearly stacked to favor women in the dating game. Barring any drastic changes, you can either whine about it or take advantage of it. Your choice, buddy.</p>
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<p>I don’t like what you wrote, but unfortunately I know what you’ve said is the truth (except for the “good of the contents of their pants” part…).</p>
<p>Call it whining, call it whatever. It’s easy to sit in an armchair and say guys are supposed to be “macho;” that they are supposed to take the lead in the dating game. Walk around a dorm though and you’ll see a different story. Many, many guys are just as timid as girls are about the opposite sex. I think you can see that just by looking at forums like this one. </p>
<p>A lot of people around here think guys are more resistant to the pain of rejection, but they’re not just born with that kind of immunity. It’s true that males have more experience being rejected, but they had to have started somewhere and it’s definitely not an easy thing to start. Plenty of guys sit around, feeling down over the fact that they just don’t know what to do with the opposite sex. I’ve walked around my dorm and talked to people who are very depressed over that fact. </p>
<p>It kind of angers me the state that society is in. Hell, society even makes it taboo for a guy to complain about something like this; it’s not something that a lot of them will bring up. But guys can feel pain too. It’s tough for so many of them. And people wonder why there are so many sad posts by males on this forum? Girls ought to take some sort of initiative too. You’re not some fragile beings that will shatter at an ounce of pain. What makes some girls think that they are so special that they can just sit there while guys do all the work? I really dislike tradition, and this is one tradition I find especially stupid. Don’t place all the burden on guys; they’re not all James Bonds and Brad Pitts out there. </p>
<p>Of course, I realize all of what I just said is just unproductive ranting. The only (and maybe even the best) thing for guys to do is just suck it up, take the pain, and do what they’re expected to do. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger after all.</p>
<p>^^^Thanks for speaking my mind.</p>
<p>Guys don’t usually appreciate something they get too easily. (I am a guy btw)</p>
<p>I wonder if guys being more used to rejection is really true. For example, I didn’t even start dating until I was 18 because I literally could not get anyone to give me the time of day. Like really, nobody. I was nearly 19 when I went on my first date. After that, for whatever reason, I became a normal person that could have a fairly normal stream of dates if I was still single, but before that my entire life was rejection. Not to mention that girls reject each other and are some of the worst bullies to each other imaginable, while in general men are less catty-- and we cope with the vicious judgments of men about what an attractive woman really is. I really don’t think the tradition that you be the one to ask on dates, which is rapidly dissipating and didn’t even affect you until the last four or so years of your life, really makes you THAT much more accustomed to rejection. That just seems silly. </p>
<p>"Guys don’t usually appreciate something they get too easily. (I am a guy btw) "</p>
<p>Just because I ask you for coffee doesn’t mean I am going to throw myself at you, literally or figuratively. :P</p>
<p>This is a ridiculous topic. Are we in the 1900s? Are you girls going to college for the sake of getting an MRS degree?</p>
<p>lol… ^^</p>
<p>I’ve asked out half of my ex-boyfriends (including my fiance) as well as my ex-gf. I have a strong dislike for girls who think it’s a “man’s job” to ask someone out. If you like the dude, grow a pair and ask him out.</p>
<p>The only girls I’ve dated have been the ones that have asked me out (excuse my sloppy grammatical structure).</p>
<p>My life is pretty busy, and I’m happy with it–so I’m not actively looking for a girl. Therefore, the only time I date is when the girl asks me. :P</p>
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<p>I beg to differ. As twisted said, just because a girl asks me out doesn’t mean that I’m guaranteed to get intimate with her. If anything, a girl who shows the initiative to start a conversation with me is much more appealing than one who plays the traditional role. Of course, the same traits that girls look for in a guy come into play here as well. Specifically, confidence is a huge factor IMO. In that anecdote that I spoke of before, the girl was good-looking, but the long awkward periods of silence and dumb questions were indicative that she had stepped too far out of her comfort zone. A girl who can start speaking to a guy on her own and also exudes confidence is a huge turn-on for me.</p>
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<p>Bingo! It’s funny how some girls are actually stigmatized by some of their peers for trying to ask guys out, as if girls are too good to partake in that behavior.</p>
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Well said. I will agree to this 100%! =) </p>
<p>I know some people expect the guy to do all the work. I really don’t see anything wrong with the girl helping initiating her interest in the guy. You see something you like/want/desire/lust/etc.–why not take the initiative and go after it? It doesn’t necessarily has to go as far as asking them out. Why can’t the girl give actual hints? Tell the guy that you think he’s funny/cute/smart/witty/athletic/etc. Give him some clues that you’re interested. Don’t do the nonsense subtle actions that no one but a psychologist could figure out. I’m talking about those instatnces where a girl “accidentally” bumps into you, runs into you on the way out of class, or her saying hi to you. Who the hell picks up on those little “accidents/coincidences”? Do you girls honestly expect a guy to pick up on such subltey ?</p>
<p>Yup. I asked my last boyfriend out because it was extremely obvious that he was into me but wasn’t going to take action anytime soon. It was funny too because he said that he was glad that I did because he was afraid to.</p>
<p>^^^ Props to you! =D hhahha</p>
<p>my first g/f asked me out too lol</p>
<p>I have asked guys out (via online dating), but now, I just got tired of taking the initiative ALL the time. If a guy was truly interested in me, he would make the effort to ask me out, and I’ve realized that. I’ve also realized, as someone else said, that guys tend not to appreciate the girls that throw themselves at them, and I guess my asking these guys out and trying to be assertive was viewed (despite the lack of sex) as being “easy” or “desperate”.</p>
<p>Thank God that the guy I’m with was aggressive (albeit it was online) because this whole trying to ask a guy out and getting a date was becoming frustrating, and I was about ready to <em>seriously</em> start contacting girls. </p>
<p>I’m not saying that I wouldn’t ask a guy out, but I’ve found it to be futile and a waste of time. And the guys I asked out either ignored me (didn’t reply to my “advances”) or just didn’t seem to appreciate the effort I made to ask them out. If a guy can’t even make the effort to start a relationship, why should I think that he’ll make the effort to continue one or that he is interested?</p>
<p>Best post I’ve seen yet.</p>
<p>Ummm, online contacts and friends you meet day to day are quite two different things.</p>
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<p>Waiting for a better moment?</p>
<p>So…what I’m getting out of this is that:</p>
<p>When a guy asks out a girl, and she doesn’t respond well, we simply call it rejection.</p>
<p>When a girl asks out a guy, and he doesn’t respond well, it’s time to GENERALIZE THE ENTIRE MALE GENDER as unresponsive and unappreciative.</p>
<p>Men and women aren’t that much different. PrincessBride, a lot of what you said about males could also apply to females. No one appreciates anyone being “thrown” at them. If a guy did that to a girl, he’d be creepy.</p>
<p>I’m a guy and I was pretty tired of taking the initiative all the time too. Only I wish society would have believed me back then when I claimed all women just had bad taste ;)</p>
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<p>Haha. Sounds like my years in middle school! 
Eh hem… only change guys to girls. Oh yeah, and I didn’t give up because I knew if I did, I’d probably be lonely forever 'cause most girls are spineless about asking guys out.</p>