Girls...WTH?

Student Lounge College Life
101

<p>aww thanks, bedhead :) I'm honored</p>

<p>no matter what anyone tells you, there is nothing wrong with waiting to "get serious" about guys or girls. If anything, the lack of baggage is appreciated. Plus, it's all a matter of the amount of effort it takes to maintain the relationship....you can't just put zilch into it and expect the world, but at the same time, it should NOT suck away all your energy and leave you dreading the next time you have to be with him/her.</p>

<p>I have a question for the guys...it's time to return the favor :D
Would you go to a date auction with the intent of buying a date with one of the girls? And, what if you saw some creep bidding on a girl you didn't know and it looked like he would win her....would you save her from such a horrible fate? The backstory on this is that's how I'm spending my Friday evening...and no, I'm not so desperate for a date; it's for a charity :)</p>

102

<p>yu-gi: grandpa!! are u okay. ur bleeding!</p>

<p>grandpa: uhh..huh.. i'm okay..just..barely... listen to me yu-gi. in order to succeed in life,...u gotta...trust in the heart of the cards (tears role down his face)</p>

<p>yu-gi: how? cards don't have a heart! their just plain paper material!!</p>

<p>grandpa: u idiot....the Dark Lord can only....be defeated-(dies)</p>

<p>yu-gi: grandpa!! (weeps)</p>

<p>(a gush of wind sweeps the environs.)</p>

<p>sauron: alright, yu-gi boy, where is my millinium puzzle? </p>

<p>yu-gi: i'm so sorry My Lord, i know not this thing that u speak of.</p>

<p>sauron: TELL THE TRUTH!! where is it!</p>

<p>(to be continued)</p>

103

<p>wrong thread, bud</p>

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<p>Lol too true MM. How old are you guys? You seem pretty mature.</p>

<p>Anyway, how do you know if a girl just wants you as a friend and nothing more? How do you know when you're good enough to make the next step? </p>

<p>A lot of the times some girls are really friendly and I get the hint they like me. Also, during class i frequently see a few girls that keep looking back at me from the other side of the room during a lecture...what does that exactly mean? I feel totally awkward when I see the same girls again and thus can't start a conversation. And why do guys always have to start a conversation? It would help if girls took a little bit of initiative too!!</p>

105

<p>Hey MissMichelle: Well, I wish I was going to your date auction. If I saw some creep about to "buy" you, I'd ride in with the calvary.</p>

<p>Well, hmmm, would I go to auction with a particular person in mind to purchase? I gotta say that I might do this if I had a crush on girl, knew she was going to be at auction, and could put up enough money to definitely "win" her and also impress her. As an extra precaution, to make sure she felt sought after, I might ask a buddy to come with me and bid against me until a pre-determined point.</p>

<p>But I wouldn't expect a woman I just saw up on stage at an auction of this sort to be someone who would necessarily even be available to really date. I mean, it's just for charity, no? But if I did win her, I'd still flirt with her and find out more what her story was.</p>

<p>I'll warrant you are taking a risk, but I don't think most guys really expect it to be a real date.</p>

106

<p>Hey Nick: I am too old to be here.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Anyway, how do you know if a girl just wants you as a friend and nothing more? How do you know when you're good enough to make the next step? </p>

<p>A lot of the times some girls are really friendly and I get the hint they like me. Also, during class i frequently see a few girls that keep looking back at me from the other side of the room during a lecture...what does that exactly mean? I feel totally awkward when I see the same girls again and thus can't start a conversation. And why do guys always have to start a conversation? It would help if girls took a little bit of initiative too!!

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Nick: The general rule is there's always a possibility of a girl wanting to be more than a friend; as I said before, she may not know what she wants, but you might bring it alive. You always want to encourage this by doing all the things we talked about: being open, confident, etc. The only time a girl that you may like should be viewed as just friends material is if you've known her that she's gotten to the point where she's mostly like a sister or she's flat out told you in so many words or there's just not a "feeling." And even then you'll sometimes be wrong.</p>

<p>If you are trying to get close to a girl, don't start being a brother. Don't be too close and talk to her about personal things that she would talk to a brother about. You quickly move from dating potential to "he's so nice, he's just like my brother." Buzzkill.</p>

<p>You need to learn how to talk to women. Conversations tend to be like rocks that roll down a hill. They just need a little shove. Even an opener like "hi" is okay when a girl is friendly and seems to like you. Ask her questions, get her talking about herself (which is a good thing to do anyway). Just start it. Don't wait. Don't go into your head and think: "what should I say?" Say anything: "my sister has a hat just like that" whatever. And then let the rock roll. Okay sometimes it'll stop, but sometimes it will go on and on and on and actually be fun. DO NOT just talk about yourself. And don't go off on a long rant or speech about something. Stop often, look at her, smile, LAUGH, make her laugh if you can, listen to what she says, tease her in a fun way, whatever.... DO NOT wait for her to start the conversation.</p>

<p>The guys can count on the girl to help keep the conversation going, usually, in other words. You are not giving a speech.</p>

<p>Oh another principle, don't wait to talk to a girl. If you see a girl looking at you, don't spend two weeks wondering if it means she likes you. Try to find a way without being a jerk to get close to her and talk to her as soon as possible, without having to think about it much.</p>

<p>The same goes with going into a bar: if I haven't started a conversation within a few seconds of spotting a girl who's near me and apparently open to conversation, the moment is often loss. If I walk in, look around, and see her and make a joke or whatever right away, I find that it works much better. The minute you start going into your head too much, you're done. If you do this, shake out of it and start over.</p>

<p>Okay, I'm off. </p>

<p>Read the other thread I put on here and take to heart what I said about practice. Treat it like exercise or a class or something.</p>

<p>I would put priorities on important things: school, GPA, etc., but if you're anything like me, a lot of energy gets soaked up in thinking about women. The best way to channel that energy is to try to do something about it, in my opinion. Among other things, you are flesh and blood and you can't lose sight of that. There was a true story about a guy in World War II. He took notes on what men talk about when in "locker room" situations (ie, like in the barracks). People were curious (I guess meaning women were curious). He said men talked the most about women. Not killing (it was war after all), not sports, etc.: women. If you can get through college focusing on the other stuff, I agree with MissMichelle that's great. But I think you'd be better off channeling this energy productively.</p>

<p>If you want, why don't you make a rule like: no dating someone seriously. Or: no dates except Thursday-Saturday. Women often respond well to focused men. It could work in your favor actually. But no dating at all? Good luck with that brother. I wouldn't believe you'll succeed with that for a minute.</p>

107

<p>Thanks again Bed head...that thread is really good. That guy really has the guts to go talk to random girls!! I admire the way he got their phone numbers and how he talked to them for hours.</p>

<p>I do have one problem though...I can talk to anyone in person and strike a conversation. Don't have any problem with that. But I just CAN'T talk on the phone at ALL. Even with my best friends, mom/dad or siblings, cousins etc. Most girls love talking on the phone, but whenever i try calling them or they call me we have the most awkward conversations ever. That's why I refrain from making any phone calls.</p>

<p>Isn't this a kind of handicap? I dont think i can ever get over it.</p>

108

<p>Hey MN: I am going to have to sign off here. Feel free to PM me. Don't apologize for yourself. So you hate to talk on the phone? Ask for a girl's phone number. And if she gives it to not before, say something: "I am really glad you gave me your phone number, and I will call you, but there's something you really should know..." Pause for dramatic effect. "I can't stand to talk on the phone. I hate it. And I won't do it. Really." Laugh "So don't take it personally when I keep it short." Laugh again. "Or if I don't talk and just let you go on and on." Laugh again. Or a simple: "I'll call you, but don't expect me to talk long -- I hate phones." Laugh The only thing you DON'T want to do is stay on the phone if you feel awkward, 'cause then your confidence will go down. You'll have an out: "Remember what I told you: I hate phones, really. I gotta go, but maybe we can get together for coffee or something in the next couple of days. I'll get over my hatred of phones just long enough to call you."</p>

<p>Or whatever. There's no one right way to do things, MN. That's what you gotta remember, except you have to act with confidence. Don't apologize for yourself. You aren't weird; a lot of people can't or can't stand to talk on the phone.</p>

<p>If you have difficulty talking with women, another possible strategy is to think of 10-15 interesting or funny things you could bring up. And riff on them; "has anything like that ever happened to you?" "do you agree with me?" have you ever heard of anything like that?" Or if you are with them and walking or outside, be attentive to what's going on. If you see a funny looking whatever go by, comment on it, laugh, etc. These are some ways of keeping a conversation going, but don't do all the talking. Let her talk too.</p>

109

<p>I'm 18...I've been told I'm wise beyond my years :rolleyes:</p>

<p>as far as I'm concerned, to each his own...I'm a girl, and I HATE talking on the phone with anyone other than my mom.</p>

<p>Oh, and I definitely don't suggest trying to plow through college without dating anyone...you'll spend all your time thinking about the opposite sex and will end up being frustrated. My point is that it's just fine if you don't want a bunch of frivolous relationships :)</p>

<p>Bedhead, if you check back, I'm glad there are some good guys out there who'd rescue complete strangers. :)</p>

110

<p>(Sauronvodermort wrote:)</p>

<p>Yu-gi: grandpa!! are u okay. ur bleeding!</p>

<p>grandpa: uhh..huh.. i'm okay..just..barely... listen to me yu-gi. in order to succeed in life,...u gotta...trust in the heart of the cards (tears role down his face)</p>

<p>yu-gi: how? cards don't have a heart! their just plain paper material!!</p>

<p>grandpa: u idiot....the Dark Lord can only....be defeated-(dies)</p>

<p>yu-gi: grandpa!! (weeps)</p>

<p>(a gush of wind sweeps the environs.)</p>

<p>sauron: alright, yu-gi boy, where is my millinium puzzle?</p>

<p>yu-gi: i'm so sorry My Lord, i know not this thing that u speak of.</p>

<p>sauron: TELL THE TRUTH!! where is it!</p>

<p>(to be continued)</p>

<hr>

<p>(Yugi struggles to reply and sauron floats menacingly toward him.)</p>

<p>sauron: "Answer me! Did you or did you not put the millenium puzzle in the refrigerator?</p>

<p>yugi: (crying) I'm sorry!</p>

<p>Sauron: It's okay. Stop crying kid...Here you can play with this crystal ball for a while. (Yugi smiles) See? Much better, now think carefully. Which drawer did you put the millenium puzle in when you placed it in the refrigerator? </p>

<p>yugi: (doesn't reply-he's totally intent on staring into the ball)</p>

<p>(A secound passes. Sauron starts muttering in a latin and his eye flashes red, but as he stares at yugi his eyes soften and he decides to try reasoning with the kid again.)</p>

<p>sauron: ....We all do bad things when we get confused yugi, mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of. I was young once too and there was this incident with my eye...but Alas! I'm losing myself. The point is if you can remember exactly where you put the millenium puzzle then I'll make sure you don't get into too much trouble when I ask your parents to punish you. So tell me, where is it?</p>

<p><em>Two secounds pass and Sauron loses his patience</em> Answer me kid!</p>

<p>yugi: I don't know!</p>

<p>Sauron: (<em>raises his staff and starts to walk away</em>) Well then, I'll just have to go and have talk with your parents.</p>

<p>yugi: I don't have any parents.</p>

<p>Sauron: Lying brat! I've wasted enough time on you! (<em>His eyes flash red with an electric current</em>)</p>

<p>To be continued</p>

111

<p>yu-gi: (his voice suddely deepens and his stature enlarges) the only way to get the milinium puzzle is by challenging me to a duel, sauron.</p>

<p>(yugi turns his back)</p>

<p>sauron: alright yugi boy, i've just about had enough of ur crap. give me the puzzle and i'll go away. no consequences! just give IT TO ME!</p>

<p>(yu-gi sighs deeply)</p>

<p>yugi: centuries passed away, oceans endlessly clashed on the million formations and mouldings of the shores, the birds and animals have mindlessly driven forth, mankind had strayed to and fro over this globe and yet no man had yet conceived the greatness of me.</p>

<p>sauon: that doesn't even make any sense. </p>

<p>(yugi blushes, but quickly recovers his pretended composure)</p>

<p>sauron: enough of ur drammatic crap. let's DUEL!!!!! u've unwittingly challenged the INVINCIBLE LAND OF MORDOR deck!!</p>

<p>(yugi is uneasy)</p>

<p>yugi: my lord, please forgive me, what have i done. listen.</p>

<p>(to be continued)</p>

112

<p>(sauron begins gloating over his deck)</p>

<p>Sauron: I have spent centuries perfecting my undefeatable deck from the my tower in Mordor. After all, even evil villians need a way to pass the time when we don't have screen-time. You have no chance to survive against my deck of orcs, magical friends and hobbits. You might as well just give up and concede defeat so that you can return home and do what you're best at: befriending minor characters and then tricking them into giving you their most treasured pocessions.</p>

<p>yugi: (considers this in his Mikey Mouse voice) Hmmm...Maybe he's right....I could leave and be at home stealing Grandpa's rare antiquities and selling them on Ebay. </p>

<p>yami: (speaking from inside the millenium puzzle) You can't seriously be thinking about forfeiting? I may not even know my name, but I do know that quitters are losers. Do you remember what Richard I said before he died?</p>

<p>yugi: Not really. I don't have time to waste studying history if I'm going to collect all the Millenium Items to auction off to the highest bidder. But did have ever watch Toonami? Let me tell you what Haku said before he died-</p>

<p>yami: Enough nonsense. Just start the duel!</p>

<p>yugi: Nah...I don't feel like it. I think I'll just daydream about the dark magician girl and let you play it for me.</p>

<p>yami: (ticked) I am tired of pampering you! You WILL play it, or I'll send you on a vacation to the shadow realm!</p>

<p>yugi: (excited) Really? And can Joey come too?</p>

<p>yami: (speaking aloud) Why do I have to be stuck in the body of a teenager with the intellect of a toddler?</p>

<p>*Flashback to yami's days at as a child pharoh. Yami remembers tearing fresh papyrus into chad, beating his servants and drawing pictures over the General's battle maps. (Yami starts to think about the time he felt up an statue but a rumbling thunder brings his mind back to the duel.)</p>

<p>Sauron: <em>eye rolls restlessly</em> Just give up! There is no reason for us to fight. I am actually a pacifist. Tolkien's son only made me only seem bad by writing an analysis deducing that I practice communism. We should all just sit around the fires of Mount Doom so we can tell stories and be friends.</p>

<p>Yugi: That sounds good-
Yami: -No! I have a faulty long-term memory and no reason to make new friends. Especially with you, flaming fart-face. The only thing you're good at is is playing football! <em>Eye flashes</em>
Yugi: (flatly) Its over. I'll never get to solve another arithmatic problem...
(<em>Sauron gets ready by pulling out a calculator</em>)
Yami: (<em>Grinning and staring at his glove</em>) No...I think we're just getting started. <em>Fake shuffles the deck, while he sliding the five pieces of exodia under his shirt cuffs</em></p>

<p>(To be continued)</p>

113

<p>wats goin' on ?</p>

114

<p>Also why i think guys are unsucessful with girls is beacuse they try to be the ''nice guy''. For example check this video out to have an idea of what im talkin about:</p>

<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-xp0LewhI8&mode=related&search=%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-xp0LewhI8&mode=related&search=&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

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<p>Bottom line: Don't be the nice guy, more than likely you'll end up last. If you're short (anything below 5'7) you need to put socks in your pants.</p>

116

<p>^Crap!
Maybe we can date really short girls?!?!?</p>

<p>I am right on 5'8" btw. Probably 5'7 without shoes.</p>

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<p>I don't quite understand all this stuff about "nice guys" versus jerks...all I look for is someone with a personality who can live without me just as well as I can live without him (which is pretty well, thanks very much :)). I can't stand guys with no respect for women, and I won't take any crap from a guy in a relationship. Period.</p>

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<p>well said MissMichelle, there's a real difference btw nice like a brother and nice as in having respect for women, i like a guy who can be both assertive and nice, someone who respects me as a person and i feel safe and secure around</p>

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<p>Basically, I find, women are attracted to guys who have it goin' on (or have a personality); who live their own lives and do what they want; who are not lapdogs; and often women like men who are liked and have experience with other women. </p>

<p>How that translates often into the real world a lot of times is that one guy is really well liked by lots of women in a group or setting, and a lot of other guys complain about what a jerk he is or an a**hole or whatever because he seems to play with feelings or whatever. But the woman/en he's involved with often feel really different. They think he gets them, they think he's exciting, they think he's his own person. Most of all, he is confident. I had a friend like this who was handsome, charming as hell, smart as hell, and he had women hanging on him all time; he disappointed some of them, many of them he, well, let's say went very far with. Some guys thought he was a jerk, and some women did too, but mostly the guys were jealous and the women were charmed by him. [For the record, I thought he was a first rate con artist, but women fell for his cons.]</p>

<p>This is, of course, a HUGE generalization, but as such its going to be a lot more right than wrong for women, in my experience.</p>

<p>Some guys go to the extreme of thinking that being nice to a woman is agreeing to everything she wants and, even worse, thinking that she's not flesh and blood (sometimes women have those drives just as strong as men). Yes, in things physical, respect women for sure. But recognize too that, for the guys here, you need to chance the rejection and, when the mood is right (and you should figure out how to get to this point), kiss or.... whatever. If she doesn't respond positively then, she might later. I went for a quick (second date) kiss-and-something-more with a woman who turned me down -- and then we dated for a couple of years. It just took a little more time to get more romantic.</p>

<p>Miss Michelle: Whether or not what I just said paints the right picture, many guys wonder why generally speaking guys who can be real jerks will end up with women whereas guys that are nicer and more respectful won't. My theory is that the guys who lack respect also happen to have what a lot of women find attractive: confidence, personality, a devil may care quality, and an ability just to be who they are without asking for permission. I think this is particularly true in, let's say, high school. The problem is they also can genuinely be real jerks too, and some women don't have the self-respect you do to not put up with it.</p>

<p>What you seem to like is a more "evolved" version of the same thing -- like you said, has his own personality and can live without you just as well as with you. Only he's not a jerk, and he does respect you.</p>

<p>Just a guess.</p>

120

<p>Bedhead....you are quite right.</p>

<p>Really, I think the entire thing comes down a respect issue, and the result just depends upon the gender of the party on each end. If you get a woman with very little self esteem, she might end up with a jerk, and then she'll stay with him. You do the same with a guy who has no self-esteem and he sometimes winds up as the "nice guy" who lets women walk all over him. For my part, again, I have a very strong personality and I either overwhelm people who don't, or I get bored very quickly because there is no challenge and no equality. </p>

<p>Another thing, lapdogs and love-sick puppies get on my nerves because they either have no will of their own or they try to smother me; I am very independent. What makes that paradoxical is that I need to feel like I am being taken care of but not being controlled/dominated/told what to do.</p>

<p>I think I am starting to understand why guys have it so hard! :p</p>