<p>Son was admitted to 8 schools - he has narrowed it down to 4. One is his state safety which is only on the list because his GF is there (she’s a year older.) I don’t think he’ll end up there, but then I’m sure he’ll have a “being faithful” dilemma. Both of his two favorite schools are at least 60% female and one of those has a fairly large male gay population…he already has a girl who is going there who likes him (met on a senior visit day). The idea of Son as babe magnet is quite comical.</p>
<p>My son and his GF graduated from the same high school in 2008 and are now at different colleges. In senior year of high school, they ate lunch together most days and spent much of their free time together. I half expected their college choices to be influenced by each other. But, to my surprise and relief, neither of them seemed to make attending college together a factor in their college applications. They knew that their needs and best fit would be very different. There was one school that was on both of their lists, and to which both were accepted, but it was not a top choice for either of them. Each of them went to their top choice, very different, schools. (He is at an LAC and she is in an honors program at our state U.) Both of them are very happy with their choices.</p>
<p>They seem to have had no problem maintaining their relationship – at least from what I see on the cell phone bills! 
They talk daily, probably IM a lot, and also SKYPE, in addition to seeing each other on breaks.</p>
<p>It does not seem to me that their involvement with each other has at all limited their ability to make friends and develop interests on their own campuses. She did visit him over Valentine’s Day, because that was a long weekend for her. But other than that they are at their own campuses except during school breaks. </p>
<p>I would be more concerned about a time and attention drain if they were spending more than very occasional weekends visiting each other. In some ways IMO that can be more of a problem than attending the same school, because it limits their forging bonds at their campus.</p>
<p>My then-bf and I dated in hs and went to different colleges. He went OOS and I stayed. It wasn’t smooth sailing but it gave us the space we needed. This year we’ll be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniv!</p>
<p>I think it depends on the kids involved . . . how independent they are.</p>
<p>First, it’s important that the school in question is the best choice for each. If so . . .</p>
<p>Will these 2 only have eyes for each other and isolate themselves? Or will they have independent lives even though they are dating? (Their behavior in high school might be a clue.)</p>
<p>I currently have 2 students who dated in high school and came here as a couple. They are in 2 different majors in 2 different colleges. They have some over-lapping activities, but each has activities of their own. They have many mutual friends but each has friends separate from the other. I was in a position of placing them in a group together for a program I run. Normally I will not put dating couples in the same group. But because of their schedules, and because I know them to be inclusive of others, I did put them in the same group. It worked out beautifully.</p>
<p>They are now preparing to graduate. They chose their graduate schools carefully so both will have the best possible graduate education and they’ll be in close proximity.</p>
<p>For these 2, it worked out perfectly. For others? Not so much. Depends on the kids.</p>
<p>I only know two high school couples who wound up with successful marriages, and neither pair went to the same college. (One of the pairs barely spoke to each other while they were in college – they’ve been married for over 20 years now, but they were not involved continuously from high school to marriage.) I suspect, however, that there are people who are culturally oriented towards early marriages where fairly high percentage of high school couple marry, and the marriages aren’t necessarily disastrous.</p>
<p>In any event, Marian is right in her earlier criticism of my post: What I meant was that it’s probably a mistake to pick a college based on the presence/absence of a high school love interest. That means, don’t follow your b/gf to college, but don’t necessarily go to the wrong college just to avoid your b/gf unless it’s an exceptionally bad relationship. (And even if it is . . . unfortunately, college students are more than capable of forming exceptionally bad relationships. If your child is prone to that, separating her/him from the b/gf may ultimately mean no more than substituting one bad relationship for another.)</p>
<p>I went to college with my best friend and we lived next door to one another. It worked out great for both of us. Our mutual regard, trust, and comfort with one another was quite magnetic to others, many of whom felt deracinated. In an atmosphere where lots of people were actively trying to re-make themselves, so that you couldn’t exactly trust how anyone presented himself, my friend and I served as each other’s b.s.ometer, with the result that people felt they COULD trust us, because each of us had a witness. But we were both male, and both outgoing, and neither of us wanted to spend a lot of time holed up with the other with the door closed.</p>
<p>I say that if your going out and you love the person and have the chance of being with the love of your life then go to whaichever university, and it doesnt matter if its bad. Like if my girl lived here and she wanted to go to lets say cal state Northridge, I wouldnt care of going to my dream school just to be with her, I dont really care about making new friends, I’ll make new friends in the university that my girl attends. But maybe its just me since I love my girlfriend. as far as some people thinking that its time to “move away” good stuff and reasoning, but I think that if there’s the opportunity of staying close to your loved one, and specially family, I would stay 1000%. I understand many people in a relationship or not love the fact of elaving and what surpsises me most is that many freshman have that initiative. i am a transfer student and only thinking of leaving scares the hell out of me. Now if you dont love the person your going out then just break up with that person. Its a tough question if you prefer to go to your dream school and the person you love doesnt go there, it really sucks but thats just me. let me know what u think. good luck!</p>
<p>My DD began dating her BF in her senior year, they planned to break up the next fall.</p>
<p>He went to the best school, financially for him; it would have been very expensive for DD.</p>
<p>She went to the best school for her, which would have been more expensive for him had he even gotten in. Just different circumstances.</p>
<p>Of 8 couples in her graduating class she was the only one to stay with the BF after Christmas…interestingly in Sept she was still dating her BF from the prior year who was away at school, she broke up with him his first visit home in Oct. </p>
<p>She is a graduating senior and is still with that BF, they have been a great touchstone for each other. Each has had & made plenty of friends & had many quintessential college experiences & not gone through their days joined at the hip. In the past 3 years of 6 roommates, all but one have spent more nights away from the room (with a BF) than in the room. DD has gotten her full rent value!</p>
<p>It has been difficult, yet a good experience, to have freedom to do whatever with whomever, yet still have that staunch support. University is a time when many question the values and standards of their upbringing; to have some one supporting you from the old town, some one who knows who you are and what you are about can be comforting.</p>
<p>To play sports, have hobbies, go Greek, make new girl friends & guy friends, all with a serious supporter available by nightly phone call or skype or email has worked well for my Dd to maximize the experience. YMMV</p>
<p>I have been lurking on this site for about a year now and have not felt compelled to reply to a thread until now…My DH and I have been married for about 21 years. While we did not go to the same university, we did go to schools that were about an hour away from each other. We were together every weekend. My one regret about that is that I don’t feel like I got the entire “college experience” because I was with him every weekend. </p>
<p>My biggest regret is that I did not go through sorority rush. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happily married but I do want more for my own daughter who is a junior in HS now. I really want her to have the whole experience without the influence of a B/F, although I do concede that it might be better for her to have ONE boyfriend, than several…</p>