<p>Is it a bad idea to go to the same college as the girlfriend or boyfriend you had in high school? Is it always a bad idea? Can it be a good idea?</p>
<p>Hopefully the college is large enough so after the inevitable breakup, you can both move on.</p>
<p>This may/may not be helpful, but my pre-calc teacher dated this guy in college for the first 2 years, and they studied the same major (math) so for their upperclass men years even though they didn't remain friends they had to have almost all of their classes together which was awkward because she couldn't stand him</p>
<p>just don't go to a college based on that reason</p>
<p>It is not a good idea to BASE the decision on that because it is unlikely that you will actually remain together (unlikely, not impossible :) ). If, however, you simply happen to LOVE the same school and both dream of attending for reasons other than one another's presence, then it can be fine. Make sure, though, that you would still want to attend that school even if your BF/GF was not attending.</p>
<p>Hard to see it as ever being a good idea. One of you will probably be compromising in the first place to both pick the same school. Then think what the chances of staying together are. And think of whether you really want to commit to a guy at this point without meeting others.</p>
<p>If it's meant to be, set each other free and see if you both come back!</p>
<p>This is a tale of friends of a friend...</p>
<p>They were high school sweethearts, and both wanted to go to college independently while continuing their relationship. While the idea of going to the same college was okay with them, they didn't want to choose a school simply because the other was attending. They agreed to not discuss their choices or applications until they had firmly agreed on a school. When spring rolled around they discovered they would both be attending the same school. They're still together....</p>
<p>In a situation like the above, I think going to the same school is okay-- it happened to be a great fit for the both of them, and blindly loving the same school brought them closer. </p>
<p>However, in most situations, it is tough to recognize if you love a school because your partner does or if you do. The first year of college is an intense time. You change a LOT. Relationships between you, family, friends and significant others change a LOT. </p>
<p>If you truly love some one, you should be able to recognize the need for independence... as suze mentioned, if it's meant to be, you'll stay together. But don't sacrifice yourself or your education.</p>
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They agreed to not discuss their choices or applications until they had firmly agreed on a school. When spring rolled around they discovered they would both be attending the same school.
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<p>Glad they're still together, but, if you believe this, perhaps you'd be interested in some swampland I have for sale in Florida.</p>
<p>Here are my thoughts about going to the same college as your BF/GF:</p>
<p>(1) Love is harder to achieve and more precious than an acceptance letter from your dream school.
(2) BF/GF going to different colleges increases the chances of a break-up.
(3) Success feels empty when you don't have someone to share it with.
(4) Grades improve when relationship needs are satisfied.
(5) When you are too focused on success, love suffers.
(6) The idea of meeting new people and experiencing new things in college is overrated.
(7) It is easier to meet a compatible person in HS than college.
(8) Within reason, it is worth compromising college choice to be with BF/GF.</p>
<p>Am I thinking crazy? Is this heresy?</p>
<p>No, you are not thinking crazy, and it is not heresy. I agree with all of your points except for #7. It is harder to meet a compatible person in HS, because most of the people aren't mature. The ones you do meet who are mature, and are willing to put all they have into a relationship are the ones worth holding onto.</p>
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Am I thinking crazy? Is this heresy?
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<p>No, just naive.</p>
<p>I don't think she is naive. There is nothing wrong with being a romantic and believing in the power of love.</p>
<p>My first and only thought: Oh HELL no</p>
<p>hahahahaha uhhh! :p if it's a larger university and you study different things than that'd be better, but if go to some small LAC where everyone knows everyone that would really suck if you broke up, and chances are you would</p>
<p>(1) Love is harder to achieve and more precious than an acceptance letter from your dream school.</p>
<p>Yes, if it's real love. I'm not going to open up a can of worms by saying that high schoolers aren't capable of real love, but... I think you <em>learn</em> to love in a way, and that comes with time, age, and maturity.</p>
<p>(2) BF/GF going to different colleges increases the chances of a break-up.</p>
<p>Agree.</p>
<p>(3) Success feels empty when you don't have someone to share it with.</p>
<p>Depends. Presumably you'd be doing the long-distance thing, and therefore have someone to share your successes with in some sense.</p>
<p>(4) Grades improve when relationship needs are satisfied.</p>
<p>Naaaah. I wish...</p>
<p>(5) When you are too focused on success, love suffers.</p>
<p>What does attending the same college have to do with success?</p>
<p>(6) The idea of meeting new people and experiencing new things in college is overrated.</p>
<p>Are you kidding? College is a new world. People grow a LOT during college... and meeting new people and experiencing new things is part of that. In fact, that is exactly what the high points of college have been for me.</p>
<p>(7) It is easier to meet a compatible person in HS than college.</p>
<p>Disagree. Colleges are often bigger, and more people are seeking relationships. The dating pool is much bigger.</p>
<p>(8) Within reason, it is worth compromising college choice to be with BF/GF.</p>
<p>Possibly, but I doubt it.</p>
<p>NOW... what about choosing a grad school just to be with a BF/GF? Because I was thinking about it, but have a strong aversion to the idea of following anyone anywhere...</p>
<p>I will have to disagree, because you can't LEARN to love in a way, it comes naturally. I believe that age and time have no factors in being capable of real love. It's more of a maturity thing, and some high schoolers are capable of real love, it's just that the lots of high schoolers aren't, because of this people will always judge high schoolers as being fickle. There are always exceptions, and at the end of the day only you can decide whether you are in love or in love with the idea of love.</p>
<p>You don't learn to love, but you learn how to be in a relationship. Most high-schoolers haven't learned that though.</p>
<p>howmanymoons-
I know what you mean about following a BF/GF to a college...there seems to be a stigma attached to it...and then there is that control thing -nobody wants to be a follower. But, don't committed relationships require staying together? I think prolonged separations weaken relationships. </p>
<p>What does attending the same college have to do with success? It is relevant when you are admitted to the top choice and BF/GF is not. Do you choose the top choice or go where BF/GF gets in? Assumes that the top choice provides greater opportunity for success. </p>
<p>College is not only an intellectual exercise; it is an emotional experience. It is easy to lose balance. Students are not machines. I think it would help to have a close relationship with someone while you are going through it. I don't think you can really have a close relationship with someone who is hundreds of miles away. Friends are great but most people want someone special at some time.</p>
<p>I think it is easier to meet people at some schools than others. Engineering colleges are not conducive to it.</p>
<p>I agree with your last statement. I could bet my bottom dollar people date more at reg. colleges than at engineering ones</p>
<p>Oh one more thing.</p>
<p>My mom was engaged to a man she met in grad school. He got a job in Washington D.C. just when my mom got her dream job offer from a company in Minneapolis. My mom loved her fiancee so much that she wanted to not take the job and move to D.C. with him. Her fiancee knew how much the job had meant to her. He refused to allow her to move with him, saying, "If you don't do what you really want because of me, one day--maybe weeks from now, maybe years--you will resent me for it."</p>
<p>Some of the best advice I've ever heard.</p>