I think that too often parents want to alleviate all angst for their kids and the gut reaction is to fix and make it better, instead of instilling the roots of resiliency and self sufficiency. Life isn’t easy. Figuring out “enough” is important.
Saw this in the Washington Post this morning, and thought about everyone here. So glad to see that others found the electronic links. I was reading the paper edition.
The Washington Post lets you read a few articles for free each month. If you just clean up your browser history, or switch to a different one, you can usually get to things for free.
I think the distinction here is between support and undue influence from parents.
I think most of us would take the call from one of our kids who is unhappy with a situation, and listen until they are done. But we try not to tell them how to resolve it. I do think it can help to advise young people that they don’t have to act or react quickly, that it takes time to make good decisions, that everyone suffers peaks and troughs, and generally reassure them while respecting their autonomy.
The concept of “good enough” can be comforting, but for some, it is downright frustrating. One thing I know I have to try to do is respect the standards my kids set for themselves. If they are too high, life will teach them, not me. In fact, life has already taught them quite a lot!
I really think some kids just have a rougher transition to college than others. Especially if they had some idealistic vision in their head. I actually transferred college after my freshman year and though I probably should have picked college #2 my first year, it was really just kind of meh either way. There are students who aren’t really thrilled with college life at every campus across the country.
I told my own freshman, college is 4 years. If you love it, great. Embrace it and dive in. If you don’t, get a degree, make some connections, and it will be over soon enough. Make the best of it. It won’t be perfect either way. I personally enjoyed my working young adult years MUCH more than my college years. I think a lot of students get the idea that college is going to be golden in every way and I just don’t think that often reflects reality. Part of the learning is in the struggling, the adapting, the compromise. Some of the posts on my kid’s college parent board are WAY over the top snowplow.
