Gotta Get Outta This Place? Did YOU want to transfer right away?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I write the "Ask the Dean" column for College Confidential, and every year at this time I get many queries from freshmen who have barely unpacked their duffel bags and yet are convinced they've made a bad college choice. They ask me how soon they can transfer and what steps they should take to make it happen.</p>

<p>So I'm eager to hear from others who were once in their shoes. If college life improved for you, how long did it take and what did you do to help make it better? </p>

<p>If your experience didn't improve, did you transfer?</p>

<p>What advice would you give to current freshmen who are already looking for the exit?</p>

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<p>Hi Sally.</p>

<p>At first, I thought College life was not that fun, and that you should already be serious with your life. I didn’t actually go to school on the first day. I felt like I didn’t want to mingle with new people yet. I didn’t want to adjust because I was too scared to be in a new place. However, I needed to get up the next day. I went to school, met new people, and eventually, I met new friends who made my college life better.</p>

<p>Point is, maybe freshmen just need to meet new people who can be with them until they can adjust in the new environment. I don’t think getting out from the school is a solution. It might mean miss opportunities which can only happen if they stay in that certain school.</p>

<p>Just give them time to adjust, at least, for the first semester. After that, they can decide if they want to stay or not.</p>

<p>I hope this helps.</p>

<p>All the best :)!</p>

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<p>Hello!:
With me personally, I was slightly warry of going to my ED school in the beginning but I usually know how to make best with whatever situation. Come the first few months of school and it’s fine! But then my beginning semester kept getting worse and worse and by Winter break I knew I needed to make a change.</p>

<p>I think it’s obvious that with incoming freshman, you should obviously go and socialize and get yourself distracted from things such as homesickness. But I feel like if you feel you know you need a change, give it at LEAST a semester tops! Also something that also worked for me was creating a pros and cons list, and when I noticed my cons were bigger than my pros I decided to make that change.</p>

<p>I did end up transferring, and although it does suck being new again I know that I feel at home with my new school compared to my one.</p>

<p>Hope that was helpful!!</p>

4

<p>I went to community college and transferred. I loved my first college and at first, hated my second. I tried to look at all the positives and the reasons I went there in the first place- not going into debt, brilliant professors, etc and I was determined to like it. I jumped on all the opportunities to make friends, like joining study groups and talking to the people around me. Somehow, by the end of September, I was in love with my school and couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else.</p>

<p>I really think the attitude was key. I was determined to like the school and make it work, and so it did. I also think that a lot of college freshmen are overwhelmed when they first get there: having to adjust to a new town, new people, and new surroundings can be difficult, especially when professors waste no time piling on the assignments.</p>

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<p>Here were my reasons to transfer, in order of which they came:

  1. I could go to a better school. I regret messing around in high school, but now I’m taking college seriously.
  2. This school is good for biological sciences (originally my major) but now I want a school good for my new major (at that time I changed to communications/journalism major)
  3. There are no parties. (Small private school)
  4. There’s nothing to do (small town)
  5. Everyone goes home on weekends (commuter school).</p>

<p>Okay, so basically, at first I wanted to transfer because I was doing better in college academically and wanted to get into the schools I originally couldn’t due to my lack of taking high school seriously. I checked out schools and did interviews during my first semester but didn’t apply because I loved the friends I made here.</p>

<p>Then, come second semester, I realized how freaking bored I was. Let’s be honest: I wanted parties, Greek life, crazy campus events, sports games with crazy rivalry and spirit. I went to a small high school that did not offer any of the above and I thought going to a small college would just be comfortable (I loved my high school BECAUSE it was small and personal) but it WAS NOT. I haaaatedddd it, especially because in a small town, I couldn’t substitute my lust for crazy parties for anything else (I lived in a big city, so even during high school, there were lots of things to do). I knew by the end of the first month of spring that I was definitely transferring.</p>

<p>I ended up transferring mainly because the environment of a small private school was not for me. I am now at a large public state school in a big city and I LOVE it.</p>

<p>My advice? Definitely give it at least one semester, and think about why you are transferring. If it’s because of social reasons (such as you feel outcasted and lonely due to a lack of friends), then that problem could be solved by putting yourself out there, keeping an open mind to meeting new people, join clubs, do everything, say hi to everyone, etc. I feel like social reasons are the #1 cause as to why students wish to transfer.</p>

<p>I feel like for situations like mine – such as, you don’t enjoy the school’s environment – might inevitably result in transfers, unless somehow your school changes its environment or you accept it/begin to like it. Even so, I do believe students should allow at least one semester. That way, they can adjust to college life completely, give themselves time to really decide if the college is right or wrong for them. I believe by the middle of second semester, you will get a hang of what you like and hate about the school and why it might be wrong for you.</p>

<p>In the end, I think students need to remind themselves why they chose the school in the first place and decide if it is worth transferring. If you wanted to attend x university before, what is changing your mind now? Think about that thoroughly before making any decisions.</p>

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<p>My advice to current freshmen who are unhappy with their situation is to forget everything you have ever heard about the “college experience.” There is no one-size fits all experience that works for everyone. Do what makes you happy (and don’t forget about your schoolwork!).</p>

<p>Also, college is not instant soup. I’ve found that a lot of new freshman have heard so much about the fantastic, life-long friends you make in college and that it’s the time of your life that they expect that to happen the second they step onto campus. It takes time to make friends, it takes time to get involved, it takes time to meet people, it takes time to find internship opportunities and to join clubs–it takes time and work. And there is no magical combination of all of the above that will create the “ideal” college experience. The experience that many freshmen want isn’t going to come knocking on your door. You have to seek out whatever experience that you want, and you have to give it time.</p>

<p>And, of course, I’d say: Relax. It’ll be fine.</p>

<p>Specifically, regarding transferring, I’d say don’t assume the grass is greener on the other side. It always seems like another college would be perfect for you, and it always seems like your friends at other schools are having a great time. But there’s no saying that that school will be a better fit for you than the one you’re at. To be honest, most colleges are more similar than they are different, and differences that might seem monumental when you’re unhappy with your situation might seem insignificant when you’re at your new school.</p>

<p>Make your decision like you would make any other big decision: consider it rationally, and consult knowledgeable individuals in your life. Try to make the decision for objective reasons, rather than your impression of the other school. The major you want to study isn’t offered at your school, your program isn’t very strong or well supported, etc. Consider specifically what makes you unhappy or dissatisfied with your current school, and how that would be improved by transferring. Make your decisions with a purpose, not just because you’re hoping something magical is going to happen.</p>

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<p>I wanted to transfer out of my community college before I even got there. I thought another school might be better so I made excuses of why my community college stunk. Looking back it looks like the schools would have been worse. As it turns out I stayed at my college for a few years before transferring. </p>

<p>I think it is all a learning process about yourself and what you really want. </p>

<p>I kind of always knew I was probably going to community college and I was happy with that but I thought in the back of my head the things I was missing out on. Another thing is I wish I found this site earlier. I don’t think i realized there was other options.</p>

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<p>I would also like to point out there is a ‘point of diminishing returns’ of transferring - a sophomore transfer, if they make a good choice to transfer, will get more benefits out of their new school than a junior transfer. Based on people I know/have seen transfer, they often gain far more out of the experience when it’s a “1-year/3-year” arrangement between old and new than “2-year/2-year”. </p>

<p>Therefore, it might be prudent to consider immediately after the first semester whether the school is a good fit. After going through a few months of the college experience, many gain perspectives/information about college that they couldn’t have gotten as only a high student and therefore might know better what they are looking for in college. After 1.5 semesters, it should only be done in a more restricted set of cases - largely because the opportunity cost is greater and net return is on average much lower.</p>

<p>I agree that this should be a rational decision, as much as one can rationally examine one’s emotions (relative to ‘fit’, etc) among all the components.</p>

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<p>Thanks for all the thoughtful reflections and great advice so far. Here’s a link to one of the “Ask the Dean” columns I wrote on this topic a couple years ago: [Help</a> ? My Daughter Hates her College! - Ask The Dean](<a href=“http://www.collegeconfidential.com/dean/archives/help-my-daughter-hates-her-college.htm]Help”>http://www.collegeconfidential.com/dean/archives/help-my-daughter-hates-her-college.htm) </p>

<p>In most cases, if I have ongoing contact with the student or parent who sent a “Gotta get outta here” query, the student does end up staying at … and liking … the original college. But, of course, that’s not ALWAYS the case. </p>

<p>The first college admissions book I ever wrote was on transferring. As we did it, my co-author and I discovered that the transfer students were often among the most satisfied and focused students on campus. An initial “wrong” choice helped them to hone in on what they REALLY wanted, as “lullabies” did.</p>

<p>But I do feel that unhappy first-year students tend to panic and want to jump ship too soon without giving their college a chance. And, above all, it’s the PARENTS who often panic first (and most)! As a parent myself, I know that I’m miserable if I think my kid is miserable. But in this situation, I think it’s important to encourage a child to stick it out, to join groups or activities where like-minded others are likely to be, to attend faculty office hours or ask for extra help when needed, and to see if the tide turns before the first semester is over.</p>

<p>Even those who, like lullabies, feel that they picked a college that is too small (or too big, or too easy or too rigorous, or too far from home, too liberal, too conservative, etc.) can still have a great first year WHILE concurrently hunting for greener pastures.</p>

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<p>

During your life, you’re going to move to a new place where you don’t know anyone, have a new roommate, go on blind dates, network at receptions even though you want to be at home in your sweatpants, and start new jobs at new companies. You’re going to spend your life being thrown into situations in which you have to meet new people and settle in to a totally alien environment.</p>

<p>This is not a harsh “Get used to it, kid”, but a reminder that no matter where you are, you’re going to be facing the exact same problems that you have at the current school, and those are problems that you are going to continue to face (in varying degrees) throughout your life.</p>

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<p>Your freshman year will have hiccups. You don’t know everything, you will have lapses in judgement, and some things will simply fly past the radar. I was a freshman last year and wanted out for a brief period of time. I went to the University of Maryland not only because of its great academics, College Park Scholars program, and strength in math and science, but because we have an awesome marching band. I joined my freshman year, and had been informed that they shoot a cannon during pregame and after UMD touchdowns. It made me nervous at first, but I got through my first pregame okay. Just before we came off the field, however, we played as the football team came onto the field, and just then, fireworks that I had no idea about were being shot a measly 20 yards away from me, and nothing barricading me between me and them.</p>

<p>Needless to say, I was HORRIFIED. I have a serious and likely irreversible fear of fireworks and explosives. I was winded and could not play for the entire first half. Once I regained my composure, I chewed out my section leader and the band director for not warning me about this. After halftime, I was fine, and eventually the game ended. I couldn’t forgive the athletic department or the band for this. I wanted out. Send me to Towson or something, anything but this mess. If I have to put up with pointless explosions and senseless drunken cheering every Saturday of the fall, I want NO part of it. That evening I called mom, in tears, describing the debacle. She told me to stick with the band, and the university. Talk to the drum majors about the situation.</p>

<p>And talk I did. We found a way to get me out of the “tunnel” by having me take a sneaky exit just before the team entrance, and I could cover my ears and scream while the fireworks were going on. Nobody could tell; the crowd is looking at the team, and they’re cheering. I got through the rest of the season just fine, though I did suffer an unpleasant surprise when we played against Temple University, who has no stadium and as such uses the Philadelphia Eagle’s stadium, which means more pro-level fireworks.</p>

<p>Long story short: Stick it out. Don’t let one bad experience mar your time at the university, especially if it’s just one class. I irrationally despised the entire university for a short time over what really is an issue with the athletic department. Don’t let emotions counter rationality. I’m not in the band this year because there’s no room in the schedule, but I will be back, and back in time for our move to the Big Ten. Current and future students of Michigan, Northwestern, Wisconsin, Penn State, etc.: You just might see me out there…</p>

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<p>ariesathena is spot on–getting socially acclimated on a campus is a good introduction to a skill you will need to use the rest of your life. For students who want to transfer immediately because “they don’t have any friends and every single person here sucks” and refuse to leave their room and try different ways of meeting people–things are unlikely to change on another campus. If anything, a student like this will be even more socially isolated because social groups on the new campus will have already formed and solidified when the transfer student gets there.</p>

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<p>Wow, total story of my life 2 years ago. I didn’t do as well as I wanted to in high school and ended up at a 4-year university that I didn’t want to go to. I already went onto CollegeConfidential to start looking up how to transfer in my first week there. I live in California and the first school I attended was a CSU (California State University), and I wanted to transfer to a UC, but as most people know, CSU → UC transfers are incredibly difficult. I took the risk and dropped out of my CSU to go to a community college for a year, and now I’m a proud Golden Bear at UC Berkeley. A tip for students who don’t want to “settle” with their college and reach for something they really want: It’s not too late. You just have to work hard enough to make it happen. You never know if you’ll end up liking the school that you’re currently at, and there is a point to be made that you just need to adjust and give it a chance. On the flip side, college is supposed to be the best time of your life, and if you end up not being any happier with your school, you let those years wash away and you’ll regret not doing anything about it. If you’re really that unhappy with your school and you KNOW you can do better, then why not prove it to yourself? There’s nothing wrong with being unsatisfied with where you’re at if you can improve on it.</p>

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<p>^ Totally agree with this. You only have one run-through of the college experience in your life, compared to say dozens of jobs, and it is often one of the most personality-defining experiences and career-setting trajectories of one’s life. </p>

<p>If you feel something is wrong or that your personal and professional goals may be better served elsewhere, explore making the change. Don’t be afraid to do what’s in your vast best interest.</p>

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<p>@HockeyGiant</p>

<p>Nice! Must have taken a lot of work to get to where you are at. I’m a freshman right now but Had thoughts of transferring before coming to my current college because I knew I could have done better in HS. Now that I’m here, I want to give it a real chance and decide by the end of the semester. Im trying to shut out thoughts of transferring as much as possible to give my current school a fair chance. Hopefully things work out. </p>

<p>Anyways thanks for posting your story. It’s very inspirational.</p>

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<p>I actually loved my college at first (albeit a little sad for not going with my first choice), when things started going bad was just around finals week. And everything made sense of why I needed out. I intended on going back for second semester… We were driving back up to school when I looked at my mom and said “I can’t go back, — is not the school for me and I know 110% I can’t prosper” my mom looked at me and just said “I know, let’s go get your stuff”</p>

<p>I was so glad she understood. I was a city girl in the middle of nowheresville at a huge 50,000 person school and hating it. I never wanted to see a class with 1200 students again.</p>

<p>I wasn’t friendless either, I had joined a sorority (although they lost their charter that winter) and yeah!</p>

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<p>(I did well in high school but ended up choosing by environment they I ended up hating, and transferred up)</p>

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<p>I was a college freshman a looong time ago, but I remember missing all of my friends. Only 2 other classmates matriculated at the same school and I felt really, really lonely. I wanted to transfer to the Big State School that 75-100 of my classmates were attending. Find something you enjoy to do and do it, don’t mope around campus. Meet people!</p>

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<p>I’m just starting my freshman year, so we’ll see how it goes. But so far, I’ve been focusing on the things that I DO enjoy, rather than other parts. I’ve been helping with a local high school’s drumline, which is really fun. That keeps me occupied a lot of days after I’m done with class. I joined a Facebook group at the school for a game I play (LoL) and even if I don’t necessarily go to their meetings, I still enjoy talking to everyone even if it’s only over Facebook. I’m slowly making more friends in my classes. I haven’t really hung out with anyone outside of class, but that’s ok because I’m not really a social person and I’ll get there eventually.</p>

<p>The bottom line is, focus on the parts you can control. Find something you enjoy and enjoy it, rather than worrying about other stuff. It helps that I’m at a massive school in a fairly large city, so pretty much anything I want to do is available.</p>

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<p>My daughter chose a large, highly-regarded school in large part because of a) the terrific social environment/school spirit and b) the relatively active Jewish community. I thought she would have been better off at a smaller school. She loved it socially and was very active in the Jewish community. Nonetheless, she transferred at the end of the first semester. She had attended a competitive private HS with lots of Ivy League alum parents and the school pushed kids towards highly regarded LACs and Ivies. They never gave an indication that one might consider education that was more vocational in nature. </p>

<p>My daughter is quite bright and did reasonably well at a competitive school but is not intellectual in nature. She’s also very social. She thought she would major in biology, which was pretty much the only academic subject she enjoyed in HS (other than statistics). She knew she didn’t love lab work as she’d interned in a molecular biology lab in HS – she’s too social and is 5’9", thin, pretty and a yoga instructor and lab folks were not her crowd. She met someone in orientation week who was studying nursing and called home and asked what we would think if she transferred to nursing. After talking it over with her, I said that it made sense. She didn’t love working in labs, loved science but loved working with people more, … . And she wants to have children and had seen the difficulty our women doctor friends had with children (didn’t get to see them, delayed and then had a hard time conceiving, …) so she didn’t want to be a doctor. OK. Went to her school and said, “We’re in the drop add period. I’d like to switch to the first year nursing courses.” They said, a) you are in the faculty of science, not nursing; b) you’d have to reapply for next year as a first year student (with no guarantee of admission); and c) despite the fact that you are taking biology, chemistry, calculus and psychology, we would only give you credit directly for the psychology course. [Point c was fairly inexplicable]. </p>

<p>Despite her social happiness, she applied and was accepted for the winter semester to a school with an accelerated five year BSN/MSN that enables her to graduate with as a Family Nurse Practitioner. She’s back home in our city, which also means that she has friends and our family friends in medicine can be helpful to her as well. She loved the social environment at her old school. She’s been at the new one for three semesters (she’s starting her junior year) and socially, she’s still not as happy. But, she is glad she made the move. She likes the smaller classes and especially what she is studying. She also gets to work in world-class hospitals, which she couldn’t have done at her first school.</p>