<p>This is what happened last winter...
"DAD, DAD! I JUST GOT 2360 ON MY PSAT!"
"What did you get wrong???"</p>
<p>I've grown up in an Asian household(Chinese). My older sister was a saludictorian and went to Berkeley. I believe she was naturally one to do that. On the other hand...I've been in a rather endless struggle with my parents. One of my earliest memories which my parents recount fondly is me as a toddler running away so I wouldn't get spanked(they seem to think that unusual!)They are much more lenient with me than my sister in regards to expectations, but not in regards to restrictions. She can do whatever she wants, I am the one that gets in trouble alot. They can be great, and I can get away with things many kids could never do. But sometimes they really tick me off. For example when I get into an EC activity, I try to keep it hidden because if they find out they will say how I should do it because it will look good on a college application. They pushed me to do Science fair. I'm sure I could have made a brilliant project(I love bio) and would likely have enjoyed it, but being pushed like that made the whole thing so much less wholesome so in the end I have not done Science fair(perhaps a lesson for those Asian parents out there who currently push their kids...it may very well backfire). </p>
<p>I currently have a little cousin who's like kindergarten, and already you can see it, though her mom is probably on the extreme side(very critical). Anyway, she happens to be very bright, in this case at logic games(such as chess). Now get this, at family getogethers a few times the family actually told her to play me to see who was better! The sorta sad part is that I am not the brightest bulb in the box when it comes to logic games so with some games she is an even match. When she is winning of course she is very happy. Now, when things get tense or if I start getting the upperhand her mom will often start criticizing her, sometimes to where she almost started crying. I would give her a way out and we'd promptly stop playing the game...start building stuff with the game pieces for example. I am a bit torn. It is probably not good that she always gets to win by the pressure is just ridiculous! So there is your Azn parent story. Needless to say she seldom plays chess and much prefers foosball. :)</p>
<p>holy carp, that's pretty intense (unless the mom wanted her to grow up into a master chess player, then it's normal)</p>
<p>I really hate asian parents. My mom almost killed me when I got a 2250 on the SAT and practically had to flee my house when I only ranked 6th in my class.</p>
<p>People think it's easy being Asian because you're "naturally smart" and you have parents who "motivate you". Yeah, motivate, right. All I hear all the time is how worthless I am. I'm not valedictorian, I don't have a perfect SAT score, I'm not nationally ranked in anything, I don't have any work published, I don't have my own business. I'm just a lazy useless high schooler who won't get into any "decent colleges" (aka Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, etc) and will disgrace the family.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, have affirmative action against Asians because their parents "motivate" them. Yeah right, motivate. It's closer to slavery than anything.</p>
<p>Seriously, I almost want to cry when people claim that it is a "privilege" to be Asian.</p>
<p>aww its not that bad. Your parents are probably extreme/outliers. Most asian parents these days sort of calmed down (at least the ones that came to the US) and are not that imposing. I think this trend comes from the fact that the parents fled from Asia to avoid intense high-school competition (ex., South Korea is super competitive) so that their children can actually have lives (which was my case)</p>
<p>I've also been called "stupid" and "worthless", but my asian parents, thankfully, don't know much about how the SATs work ;). They don't even know what Ivy-leagues are, but they DO know Brown University and stuff. I'd say my parents are a bit nicer and less strict, but only because they lack knowledge in a lot of this college/senior year business. What I hate, though, is the fact that my parents think ECs are a waste of time and that I have to focus more on my "studies". Arrggghh...So I always have to make up excuses as to why I'm home around 4-5ish, I always say I'm tutoring people.</p>
<p>Can't agree more about the insults they give you sometimes. </p>
<p>My favorite: "Giving birth to a sausage would've been better than giving birth to you. At least I could feed my family with it."</p>
<p>And they're never encouraging, always discouraging...</p>
<p>
[quote]
My favorite: "Giving birth to a sausage would've been better than giving birth to you. At least I could feed my family with it."
[/quote]
</p>
<p>My parents never get quite that creative, I just get the regular You're a stupid, worthless idiot stuff :) Honestly these insults I get are so predictable! Mix it up a bit, parents.</p>
<p>I think it's really the type of Asian you are. My family is Vietnamese, but they are really cutting me slack on my grades. By slack, I have some B's, and they still tell me "good job". But I feel like I'm full with guilt because I know my parents want me to do better.</p>
<p>Besides, I play Counter-strike a lot, and all of the Vietnamese people I've met aren't really the academic types. They are in the lower class and they have "Brooklyn accents".</p>
<p>The thing that makes me angry is when people use me as a benchmark to test their intelligence..</p>
<p>I actually wish my parents (who are asian) were more stereotypically asian. The motivation I get to get into HYP schools is purely from myself, because my asian parents suprisingly dont really care and havent cared. o_O They even tell me sometimes to "stop studying/working on stuff so much" =</p>
<p>I wish they had encouraged me more in my freshman year (when I was still unmotivated) to do well, so I wouldnt be stuck right now with ****** freshman grades >_<</p>
<p>My parents care but i feel motivation should mainly come from yourself. The thing is i want to do engineering and my dad is an engineer and interviews many young engineers. So he knows how some things work and knows which colleges are good even if they are not hyp. My parents DO NOT want me to apply to Harvard. Course they want me to apply to Cornell, MIT etc, but so do i. If it was all my parents motivating me, i prolly would hlave drems going to my state school. As i am getting older my parents are slightly easing the pressure as they see i am doing stuff by myself.</p>
<p>Everything in life purely depends on the person, stereotypes are conceived because the majority of a certain race, culture has similarities. My Asian parents never push me to excell in school, although they will support me if I choose to be pushed, while others loathe being pushed or not.</p>
<p>I have Asian parents, and they are stifling. >_< I've heard of a lot worse than mine...so I'm thankful for that. But I'll admit it, when I go to college, I'm going to be one happy girl to get out of state.</p>
<p>I've had so many screaming matches, so many late night fights, so tears. Way too many talks about the future that seem to be for nothing but the benefit of showing everything I'm doing wrong. I am grateful to my parents. One of the good things about the stereotype is that Asian parents are willing to sacrifice so much for their children, and for me at least it's true. I just wish they would stop reminding me of that.</p>
<p>I have a older sister, who others often describe as "perfect." She's far from it, but works hard. Valedictorian, varsity sports, enough extracurriculars to stuff an elephant, and of course, acceptance at her dream school, MIT. My parents don't understand why I don't do the same. It took them years to realize that I wasn't going to take the math and science route my sister did, but soon afterwards my job prospect was changed to lawyer (from doctor). </p>
<p>My parents have also threatened not to pay my college tuition, especially if I get less aid than my sister. My dad chose my college list, the lowest ranking school being my state school. However, my mom will pretty much give up on me if I go to Rutgers. It's strange, every time she yells at me, or won't let me sleep, or makes me go to sleep, she backs it up by saying she wants me to do better than her. I don't think she understands that going Ivy and making a crapload of money isn't what's going to make me happy.</p>
<p>I don't care if she has another child to brag about at her Korean mom meetings. I don't care if I go to Rutgers. My parents don't let me volunteer unless I fight for it because I already have enough hours. They yell at me if they see me working on my writing. They expect me never to stay up past 10 P.M., if I do it means I procrastinated and I'm a lazy bum. They don't want anything less than a 750 on anything and everything SAT. They constantly compare me to my sister but turn a blind eye to everyone I do better than. I understand they want the best for me. They don't understand I do too.</p>
<p>They always say if they don't push me now that I'll be angry at them later in life. They can't see I already am. I've lost sight of what I want, it's blurred by their own visions of my future. I've forgotten what it's like not to have to worry, to shun my friends because they're "competition," to have my parents simply comfort me. What I am today is not simply a state of mind. In my freshman and sophomore year, I was sad. I don't know if I can count it as depressed. My mom certainly didn't. A state of mind? Whatever. I won't be angry at her 10 years from now if I don't work at a huge law firm. I'll be angry because even though I realized everything I was doing wrong she had to keep repeating and reminding me of that fact.</p>
<p>I've spent years trying to analyze myself, my parents, and my siblings. I've spent years trying to balance what I like, and what my parents want. I'm tired of it. I honestly don't care where I go to college, I just want to go. Now. I'm ready to get out of here and not to see my parents for a while. The only thing I'll regret is not being there for my younger brother and sister.</p>
<p>just let it go. whatev. i think they do it to better us? or to show their love? i dunno. just let it go. they're your parents, they're not going to stop loving you and the whole not paying for college is a threat. just a threat. they wouldn't go that far. its just to scare you. </p>
<p>someone mentioned rice.. i like rice.. i mean the food and university :)</p>
<p>I don't know about that Lori. I personally know a kid who had to pay herself through college because her asian family pretty much disowned her.</p>
<p>Guys guys guys
What your parents call you should stay in the house, if you want to complain go see some psychiatrist or Dr. Phil or whatever they have today. </p>
<p>If you don’t like your parents why don’t you give them to some homeless kid starving on the streets in some third world country? I doubt they’d complain about having food everyday and a roof over their heads. Your parents want the best for you; stop treating them like you would the ETS. </p>
<p>@ JP_Omnipotence
That is a rare case and not the norm. I’m sure there are crazy people in every race. Asian parents might have done stuff like that before but we are not in the flipping middle ages anymore. You don’t hear people accusing white people of burning witches at the stake.</p>
<p>I totally disagree with you Ihslexingtonorg. What people like greensticky are doing isn't complaning, and it shouldn't stay in the house. I understand as a white girl I don't really totally understand, but some of the postings on this thread shock me. Parents calling their kids "stupid" or "worthless" on a regular basis is not okay in my book. If people want to come on here and just vent, that should be fine. If my parents ever <em>once</em> called me worthless or stupid I would be doing a lot more than just typing on a forum.</p>
<p>Welcome to the real world</p>
<p>"I actually wish my parents (who are asian) were more stereotypically asian. The motivation I get to get into HYP schools is purely from myself, because my asian parents suprisingly dont really care and havent cared. o_O They even tell me sometimes to "stop studying/working on stuff so much" =</p>
<p>I wish they had encouraged me more in my freshman year (when I was still unmotivated) to do well, so I wouldnt be stuck right now with ****** freshman grades >_<"</p>
<p>Holy crap, RootBeer, I feel your pain: word for word, this is the story of my life. I'm actually kind of thankful and angry at the same time. I've pushed myself to the brink to compete with fellow Asians and have come up just shy of the top because of the lax background in which I was raised. My parents both want me to stay around NJ. They tell me they'd love for me to go to Rutgers (and maybe NYU is 'okay' they say), but nothing further away. They don't want me to push myself unhealthily and they claim that they don't push me b/c they know I'm already killing myself in school. Everytime they tell me to go to Rutgers, I have to give them this crazy, incredulous look as if they're out of their minds. It's the worst possible role reversal in my opinion; I need the extra motivation to come from my parents and I feel like if it had, I might have been on my way to HYP right now...</p>
<p>SDMS...I think you have a very skewed perspective of what the "real world" is. The truth is most parents don't push their kids the way it sounds like your (and the rest of the kids on this threads') parents do. The "real world" for the people on the thread is NOT the real world for a lot of other kids applying to top schools.</p>