<p>Realizing how flawed the essay grading portion of the College Board online SAT course is, here's me hoping that I'll get some help here. So here's my essay for the first practice test in the Blue Book.</p>
<p>The prompt, in case you need to see it here, is:</p>
<p>"The change is to risk something, make us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation comes from within."</p>
<p>Adapted from Ward Sybouts, Planning in School Administration: A Handbook</p>
<p>Assignment: What motivates people to change? ...</p>
<p>My essay:
To "change" is to accept difficulties. The Chinese protestors in the Tiananmen Square Incident of 1989 risked their lives in order to bring reform to their government, and Mathilde in Guy de Maupassant's "The Necklace" is self-motivated to learn life's discomforts. To "risk something," indeed, is an intrinsic aspect of achieving goals. Both the Chinese protestors and Mathilde make sacrifices for their causes.
A strong passion for their beliefs motivated the protestors to demonstrate against the Chinese government. Near the end of the 1980s, Chinese college students and artisans decided to work together to reform their communist government after a set of disappointing economic reforms. Zeal, indeed, breaks the flow ofl ife. The protestors' choice to cease their comfortable lifestyles in order to oppose their regime was not influenced significantly "from the outside," but from their own ardor. After the government's attack on the protestors was broadcast around the world, several countries condemned the Chinese government for its unjust tenets, such as killing its citizens. A life-costing incident, therefore, showed progress. The Chinese protestors were able to make their ruling body into a pariah not because they were quiescent in their passion, but because they were willing to make a "bigger risk." Exposure to danger, indeed, showed promises for advancement.
Similarly, Mathilde's new insight is movitated from pride. After losing her friend Jean Forestier's necklace after attending a society ball, Mathilde and her husband are put into arrears after paying for a replacement. Mathilde's life, then, undergoes a change. Although her sacrifices may have been curtailed had Mathilde told Forestier about her necklace, Mathilde's pride and determination to achieve a goal allow Mathilde to accept "[feeling] insecure." after around ten years of destitute living in order to pay off her debts, Mathilde learns the value of hard work. Mathilde's sacrifices, indeed, teach her a lesson. Mathilde's new view of life that came with sacrifices sprouts from her "motivation" that "comes from within." Mathilde's pride, therefore, catalyzes development.
As demonstrated above, both the Chinese protestor's following their beliefs and Mathilde's new perception illustrate the argument. "No choice," therefore, can be free of repercussions. Nevertheless, the losses one will experience in the course of a transformation allow one to be able to live an active life, rathern than living passively, submitting to various outside influences. To "seldom feel" dormant, therefore, promises enlightenment.</p>
<p>So there's my essay. Meanwhile, how "trustworthy" or "authentic" do you think the practice essays in the Princeton Review's 11 SAT Tests and the Princeton Review's online grading system are?</p>