<p>Prompt: Should leaders be judged according to how they treat people?</p>
<p>I believe leaders should be judged on the way they treat people because they way a leader executes his style is very much determined by the way the leader treats his citizens, and fellow officials. This can be dominantly expressed through the following examples, Adolf Hitler's rule of Germany and MLK's role in the civil rights movement.</p>
<p>Germany is in turmoil, after being destroyed in WWI. They have millions and millions to pay in reparations, their economy is so weak that people burned their currency for fuel because it was worthless. In the midst of it all, one charasmatic man siezes this oppurtunity, sways the public into believing his vile, ruthless views and preaches a world where Germany is a superpower and world leader. He is Adolf Hitler, the leader of the third reich. Hitler treated people that he opposed horribly and inhumanely, he ordered genocides of people who he thought were inferior, sometimes citizens of his own country. Hitler had a goal of trying to make a superior race and country, the only way: to kill off inferior races. He tried to attack his neighboring countries to expand, which caused WW2. People say Hitler was a great leader of his time, but I say differently, any leader that orders mass genocides on his people is a failure in my eyes.
America during the 60's was a divided nation, black and white. Racial tensions were augmented, and blacks were feeling the pressure, sparking the civil rights movement. Out of this movement, emerged a different type of leader, one who preached peace and love. MLK was a superior leader, on the same magnitutude of any American president, if not better. He treated his opponents with love and understanding, not violence. He preached to his followers to treat everyone, reguardless of their creed or beliefs as their brothers. Who succeeded, was it Germany, who can never be a world power anymore, or is it MLK, who made America no longer divided.
Leaders are a special type of people who have a skill that normal people do not have. Whether they show that power with mal treatment of citizens, fear, the more influential leader is the one who used peace of and love.</p>
It’s pretty good, and I think you’re actually a pleasant writer. I’m not a tutor or proffesional, but I’d say to make sure you transition properly, from paragraph to paragraph; and this feels more like an interesting journal or article rather than an SAT essay. Along with that, you should state at the end of the paragraph, “so therefore, (this leader) can be judged so-so” or however way you put it. Basically, make sure you refer back to the thesis so that your point is made stronger. Your conclusion too, was not really related to the topic, so you should make sure that is always done, and again, refer back to your thesis. Other than that, it’s pretty good (good vocab, sentence structure, framing of ideas). I’d give your essay a 4-5/6 (8-10/12).</p>