Grade my essay please?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Can you grade my essay please? Thanks</p>

<p>Assignment: What motivates people to change? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue.</p>

<p>Essay: Change is something many people find difficult. For people that want to change something, need a source of motivation. People change if their economy is being damaged.</p>

<p>The southern states of America in the 1860's seceded from the Union and changed their country because of the abolitionist policies of the north. The southern states became the Confederate States of America because they were dependent upon slaver. In the south, "Cotton is King", and in order to get a large amount of cotton, slaves were necessary. The South formed their own country in order to protect their rights for owning slaves. The motivation present among Southerners was economic. The southern economy would crumble and the wealthy plantation owners would not be able to survive.</p>

<p>Another example of the economy bringing about change is present in the boycotts of Mahatma Gandhi. When the British controlled India, they used the Indians to produce many items. One of these was salt, which was a crucial component of the Western diet. Gandhi told his followers to stop working, to boycott the production of salt. Through Gandhi's non-violent actions, the British economy suffered. This allowed for the Indians to eventually gain their freedom and bring about a social change.</p>

<p>The economy recently brought about another change. The causes of the recent economic collapse have been attributed to the unhealthy amount of lending financial companies participated in. People who lenders felt were risky were given loans, some of which they couldn't pay back. Also, people were in a large amount of credit card debt. The average American household had 9 credit cards. Eventually, the stock market crashed. Because of the economic failure, Americans and financial companies began changing their policies.</p>

<p>The economy is a very strong motivator in bringing about change. The economic changes caused the southern states to secede, the Indians to gain freedom and American citizens to be more cautious with money. When something effects a person's pocket book, change will occur. </p>

<p>Thanks</p>

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<p>I'd give it a 2, you're retarded. No, I love you man.</p>

<p>In the opening, I'd take a more concrete stance. "I feel that people are motivated to change by adversity having an impact upon them." Something to that extent.</p>

<p>Really, I think it could work, but I don't think that's what they were really asking. You addressed a group of people, whereas I think they ask these essays on a more personal level. Not bad, though.</p>

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<p>Thanks Rohan, what grade would I get?</p>

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<p>Well, I'm not really an authority on that, so I wouldn't be an accurate representation, but I think it would be a solid 8-9. </p>

<p>That's just me, though. Others will think differently. </p>

<p>Did we have any US?</p>

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<p>Thanks for the grade. I'm going to take the average of all the grades I get. No, we have no US hw.</p>

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<p>Did you take the SAT yesterday?</p>

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<p>No, I'm taking it in March. You took it?</p>

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<p>Yeah.</p>

<p>It wasn't that bad. I'll probably retake in March.</p>

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<p>Bump 10 char.</p>

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<p>Can someone other than ro51092 grade my essay? Thanks</p>

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<p>First paragraph is ungrammatical and pretty incoherent. Two examples are economy driving change, the other (Ghandi) is about people wanting change and manipulating the economy to get it. You don't make that clear. Still I agree 7-9 is a likely score.</p>

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<p>wheres your thesis</p>