Grade my essay. this is my first essay!

<p>Prompt: (BB TEST #1): What motivates people to change?</p>

<p>There are many motives that people have for changing. The one that motivates people the most is the one that brings them success. The motive of success is prevalent in our history and present time. </p>

<p>Recently elect President Obama used the simple slogan "Change we can believe in." His promise of change was appetizing to the people of America, who saw that change as something that would bring them success. Before Obama was elect, people had large financial ussies, which thwarted their financial wellbeing. </p>

<p>Peter the Great was another figure who advocated change. He did this for the success of his nation, which he took great pride in. He wanted this change in his very undeveloped Russia after taking a trip to America, which he thought was very modernized, and successful as a result of its modernization. Peter the Great then set out to modernize and change Russia. He installed factories, railroads, and even created ballrooms and casinos, which were modern western creation. After some time, Russia took a great step toward modernization. The changes were drastic; one englishman noted "The Russia I see now is not the same as the one I saw as a student on the grand tour 20 years prior." And this was true; Peter the Great truly created a new Russia, which then became very successful both economically and territorially, for it had conquered the powerful Sweden, and carved up Poland. </p>

<p>Abolitionists during the 19th century advocated a drastic change social costums. They wanted to uproot slavery. Their reason: for the wellbeing and success of the African Slaves. Their actions, which strived for change, created oribably the most significant change in American history. Now, blacks are free to live their life without prejudice and inequality; to abolitionists, this translates to great success. </p>

<p>It is very evident in history and in our present hour that success motivates people to change. The people of America wanted change for a more successful financial life, Peter the Great wanted change for a more successful and technologically advanced Russia, and abolitionists changed for more success in the life of Africans.</p>

<p>I’d probably give it a 10, maybe an 11 if one of the readers is having a good day.</p>

<p>Cool. BUmp</p>

<p>bump…</p>

<p>I’d say 10 (9 if a reader is harsh on grading). I think you cut your first example really short. And remember that they spend like 1 minute on each essay. Cutting your FIRST example really short might cause a reader to give you a lower score. So I would try to write maybe two or three more sentences for that first example. Otherwise I think you wrote a well-defended essay. Make sure to fill in both pages though.</p>

<p>THanks for all the input. It did reach 2 pages.</p>

<p>Hey, RAlec did u happen to go to CTY?</p>

<p>@indie</p>

<p>Nope.</p>

<p>Solid 10. Anymore isn’t fair and any less would mean a harsh critic.</p>