<p>Question: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack to courage to say it?</p>
<p>Essay:
Heroes are individuals whose actions speak louder than words. “Hero” comes from an ancient Greek word that referred to individuals who had exceeded the realm of normal humanity to the point of being supernatural. An individual’s actions, whether good or bad, define that individual as a hero as opposed to his or her spoken words.</p>
<p>Representative of the ancient Greek’s definition of a hero is Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi, known for leading a peaceful revolution in Imperial India, is remembered for his nonviolent protests and peaceful marches rather than adrenaline rushing speeches. Fasting for weeks, even months, at a time, Gandhi’s message of nonviolent noncooperation resonated throughout India. While his speeches were well spoke, his actions like fasting and boycotting, spoke louder than any sentence of eloquent words.</p>
<p>Like Gandhi, Arthur Dimmsdale, in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, demonstrates how actions, or lack thereof, speak louder than words. Dimmsdale had committed one of the greatest sins as a Colonial Era Puritan: adultery. While he sin was evident to those who knew, his unwillingness to confess his sin spoke more about his lack of moral character than the words of his speeches as a minister at the church. Dimmisdale’s wrong doings took over every fiber of his being until his death. Dimmsdale’s lack of action told more about his immoral character than any of his speeches.</p>
<p>As seen in both the case of Gandhi and Dimmsdale, the ancient Greek definition of a hero clearly resonated. While a hero may seem to be the individual who wants to say what others choose not to, a true hero is an individual who, instead of speaking, chooses to act up his or her thoughts.</p>
<p>Could you please grade it on a scale of 0-12? Thank you!</p>
<p>You use some strong evidence, but you just don’t tie it back into the prompt. I don’t know how to rate it 0-12, but you need to have your own commentary that refers to the evidence you use. The evidence cannot be your main point, however.</p>
<p>The prompt specifically asked if heroes should be defined as people who speak their mind when others are afraid to. You need to directly answer the prompt, and use your examples.</p>
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<li>You didn’t actually answer the prompt, your evidence is very good and it’s not a bad essay but since the prompt wasn’t answered no credit. Next time focus on the question.</li>
</ol>
<p>IM gonna have to agree with the posters above… it might be a good essay but you never really answered the question and tried to elaborate on your meaning of hero instead… don’t go off topic is my only suggestion.</p>
<p>Sent from my LG-P999 using CC App</p>
<p>Thank you! 
I really appreciate it, I’ll try to stay on topic next time.</p>
<p>If the essay prompt was what should a hero be defined as, i’d give your essay a 10-12. Great essay, just maybe a tad off topic.</p>
<p>Lol, I just wrote my very first SAT essay yesterday on this exact same topic (from the BB)… my essay took a pretty different direction though. Will be posting mine later, its not that good. :/</p>
<p>I like the examples, but the thesis mislead me a bit - not exactly sure what your viewpoint on the topic was at first. If you made the point that heroes are those whose actions speak for themselves, and that speaking doesn’t mean one is a hero, I would score the essay a 10. </p>
<p>Good points, just maybe outline the essay’s intro a bit more… I feel that an essay’s introduction & thesis really sets the tone.</p>
<p>domination,</p>
<p>I must agree with the aforementioned comments. You didn’t answer the prompt :x. I’d say you’d receive a 7-8 because you have good strong examples. However, this essay would get a solid 10-11 if you tied it back to the prompt. You have strong control over your language which is great. Your examples were also very good.</p>
<p>Now I say a 10 or 11 (if you answered the prompt) because you didn’t fully develop the body paragraphs. They’re 90% there, but just add in a little bit more and you’d really have two solid body paragraphs.</p>
<p>Lastly, this has the potential to be a 12; one simple thing is missing: vocabulary. Tie some SAT vocabulary in and you’ll be set! Whenever I used The Scarlet Letter (and trust me, I used it in 80% of my essays [written 93 SAT essays]) SAT vocab is a joke. You can throw in assuage, alleviate, and fetterings (just to name a few). Assuage and alleviate mean to relieve, so Minister Dimmesdale used to use physical punishment to assuage his guilt. Fetterings = hinderings (kinda like chains, but not really). His guilt was place a large fettering on his conscience because as a holy man, he sinned.</p>
<p>Awesome examples though, sorry if I was too critical. You can get the 12, just keep at it. Best of luck :)!</p>
<p>~Aceventura74</p>
<p>^Critical is helpful. You would not be nearly as informative if you beat around the bush. Comments like these help people like me understand how to improve my essays.</p>