Grade My Essay?

<p>So I took the prompt from the January SAT and typed it in 20 minutes. Before I took the SAT in January, I did the Collegeboard one online where I typed in 25 flat (HUGE MISTAKE) and still got a 12. With this, I thought I could totally write an essay in 25 minutes! WRONG. I didn't quite finish my essay on the real exam and got an 8 (and perfect multiple choice...so mad). Anyhow, here is what I wrote. I'd love any feedback in terms of structure, examples, et cetera (or, if you have other examples that could work please tell me). </p>

<p>Frederick Douglass once said, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress. This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle." He was right. Progress is something that must be fought for; without conflict, progress simply does not occur.
Assignment: Does progress result only from struggle and conflict? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Many live by the maxim that “practice makes perfect”. For many people, success does not come upon a first try, but, instead, over the course of intense trial and error. History has come to show that indeed, progress is rare upon a first attempt and can only result from struggle and conflict. In order to make progress in any field, it is important to understand that struggle and conflict are essential in the process.</p>

<pre><code>Those behind the US Women’s Rights movement of the 19th and 20th century took almost a century to achieve any sense of progress. Although contemporary society treasures and values the role of the woman, it took decades of protests, hard work, and endless court cases for the women to achieve the status that they have today. Starting with the Seneca Falls convention of 1848 in Seneca Falls, New York, women’s rights activists began to exclaim their grievances with the way in which United States society condemned any sense of liberty for women. Indeed, the women had to undertake intense and aggressive courses of action to prove their equal. Protests and picketing filled the minds of these determined young women, and it took around 70 years for them to achieve suffrage. Even with suffrage, the fight for gender equality was only half finished. Women would still need to push harder in order to prove their worth to their male counterparts. In the first and second World Wars, women went in numbers to the factories and the shipyards to fill in for their husbands and lovers who were across the world. Even with this effort, it wasn’t until the 1960’s that the women became included in the 1964 Civil Rights Act, ensuring true legislative equality for women. All in all, the struggle of gender equity in 19th and 20th century America illustrates in great detail the importance of struggle and conflict as ingredients in ultimate success.

In a similar fashion, the Civil Rights Movement of the United States during the 20th century illustrates the importance of struggle and conflict as catalysts for success. Although black men were given the right to vote in the later end of the 19th century, recognition of African-Americans as equals in society was not confirmed until the passing of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. It took years of protests, most notably under those led by Martin Luther King, Jr, in order to achieve any sense of equality. For Martin Luther King Jr, it would take endless marches, speeches, and even time spent in prison before any signs of progress manifested itself in society. The black movement and the struggles the advocates faced--extreme violence, death, prison, discrimination, all led to a greater sense of achievement as each obstacle was conquered. Martin Luther King’s resonating words of “We Will Overcome” and his “I have a dream” speech rang through the air and the advocates rejoiced in the sound of promises of freedom that were so close to being obtained. In conclusion, the obstacles that Martin Luther King Jr. and those fighting for the recognition of blacks as equals in society were essential for the advocates of the movement to prove their worth and achieve the equality that they set out for.

Some, like philosopher Karl Marx, are dogmatic in believing that history can not progress without a certain degree of struggle or conflict in society; in other words, that conflict and struggle are essential to the progression of society. Overcoming gender and race disparity both illustrate the importance of facing struggle and conflict in the grand scheme of achieving progress. Without a struggle or a conflict, without something to fight for, history stays stagnant and progress cannot be made to the same degree.
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