<p>Thank you so much Newbyreborn!</p>
<p>^_^ Seems good to me. Definately a 5.</p>
<p>But as for you, Mr. PeteSAT, I totally diagree with "sticking to one side" advice over there. The prompt clearly said state your point of view: what if I feel "both ways" so to say, in lack of a better term? And your suggestion of having a 4-5 paragraph structure: BS! I've read 6 essays where there is no structure of any sort! </p>
<p>Let me address this to everyone who critiques a paper: grade only on grammar and content; in other words, grade HOLISTICALLY! </p>
<p>I don't know. Maybe I'm just "hating". Otherwise, PeteSAT, I agree on everything else you said. Thanks. :)</p>
<p>Thank you SNEAKiiE. Bless you.</p>
<p>But SNEAKiiE and Newbyreborn, could you please explain to everyone why my essay received a 5 in your opinion, not a 3 or a 4? And could you tell me whether you're experienced grading essays? Are you students? etc.</p>
<p>^_^ The reason you got a 5 from me is because you made sense, and I agreed with you. Seriously, I don't think people will pay much attention to see if you made an error on a grammar or content and start to PANIC about IT. Besides, I like your point of view. --; People who judges other people on their grammar have some problems sometimes. No offense. :] Also you got all your facts straight. ^^ [applauses]</p>
<p>Thanks:). You made my night. But, are you a high school student out of curiosity?</p>
<p>Never mind</p>
<p>"But as for you, Mr. PeteSAT, I totally diagree with "sticking to one side" advice over there. The prompt clearly said state your point of view: what if I feel "both ways" so to say, in lack of a better term?" </p>
<p>Stick to one side. It doesn't matter if you personally feel "both ways"; switching opinions midway through a paper completely invalidates whatever your thesis is and occasionally it can make you come off "flaky" and insecure about the prompt.</p>
<p>"And your suggestion of having a 4-5 paragraph structure: BS! I've read 6 essays where there is no structure of any sort!"</p>
<p>It's just a suggestion, but it really is something to keep in mind. Those 6 essays without structure tend to have substantial evidence to back the writer's claims/thesis, and unless you are very secure with the prompt, writing one big "para-blob" will come out a mess. </p>
<p>Just had to throw my 2 cents in, even though I could just tell you all this in person in school. :P</p>
<p>Oh, I hate you. And I hope Zeke (however you spell his name) really is cheating on u! LOL j/k</p>
<p>Wouldn't it really sick tho if ALex was right all along? It would really make you feel real bad for calling him a dick... I don't kno, I wasn't payin' attention to all that ********. But u kno, whatever makes ya all happy...</p>
<p>What the **** are you doing on THIS particular message board anyway? The SATs for you have already passed. Maybe you're stalking me and trying to ruin my life... Hmmm... (oh, and excuse my French).</p>
<p>^<em>^ Hey Bio</em>Freak, sorry about that. Yes I'm a high school student. ^_^ See ya!</p>
<p>^_^ You're a senior right?</p>
<p>No, I'm a Junior.</p>
<p>The test-prep people suggest:</p>
<p>Taking a stance and sticking to it.
Format of:
Intro - Hook, Thesis, 3 supporting topics, connection to next -
1st paragraph - Support 1 (Either history/literature/current event/sci...etc)
2nd paragraph - Support 2 "
3rd paragraph - Support 3 "
Conclusion - Restate in different words... strong impact.
I think it was ~54 lines total? Not sure... Each paragraph should have at least 3 sentences and all paragraphs should be approximately the same length.</p>
<p>I don't know how important the 5-paragraph thing is, but I think intro and conclusion are very important. Also the graders like to have support paragraphs, 1 from History, 1 from Literature, and 1 from current event. However, if you have something very personal that relates... go ahead.</p>
<p>Your Essay: Based on the aforementioned format, I would give it <em>either</em> a 3 or 4 (since you don't like .5's =)), but if I were to screw the format, I'd give it <em>either</em> a 4 or 5. I'm not sure how your last sentence of final paragraph connects to the preceding sentence... </p>
<p>Why am I so hesitant to give out a whole number? Hmm... something to ponder about on a rainy night.</p>
<p>:] o.o Because whole number is your best friend?</p>
<p>I skimmed that essay two times (like they do when they really grade it). i say, good structure, obvious thesis, support, some good vocabulary. I'd say a 5?</p>
<p>what ryan2288 said. The thesis should clearly state what you're planning to discuss. I would simply list the three, max 4 examples I'm using.</p>
<p>something like:
"Competition as displayed in the acceptance to colleges, the intensity of reality television, and the passion of major league sports, is essential to the success of the individual."</p>
<p>though, I don't think those examples really fit the question. I would probably refute the statement - talk about unrestricted capitalism and its potential to cause things like the panic of 1893, the Great Depression...but yeah</p>
<p>I disagree that personal examples are necessary. but sometimes, they can work the best simply because you'd know them the best. And there's less of a chance you'll mess up the facts.</p>
<p>Man, is there an anti-spamming rule on this board? If there isn't, there should be. Discuss your personal stuff outside of these boards, please. In terms of your essay, I'd have to agree and say that the thesis seemed weak and the position you take is very...flimsy. It's not bad, and you use good diction (word choice), but there's definitely something lacking. I would give you maybe a 3/6 or a 6/12. Just work at it, you'll get better by reading newspapers, magazines, etc. and writing whenever you can.</p>