Grade my essays please! Will return favour.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Essay:-</p>

<p>A man once said, everyone will soon have his 15 minutes of fame. As we approach closer to such a reality, success stories abound these days. With our economic and political successes, many are reaping the fruits of their labour and reaching the zenith of their life at the height of our civilisation. However, can this success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Sadly, the answer is yes. For one thing, success brings about pride which can lead us to overlook certain problems which we may dismiss as trivial ones. In the Song dynasty of China, the success of the Chinese in administrating the largest and most powerful empire in the world then, China, led them to believe they were invincible. Thus, they did not care about the military situation at the borders. They were caught by surprise when the Mongols, with their Persian trebuchets, defeated the Song dynasty and conquered China. Such was the shock that many officials of the Song dynasty commited suicide, perhaps believing it to be the end of the world.</p>

<p>Success can also lead us to take reckless decisions. A study has shown that success increases the presence of certain hormones in the body and thus cause us to overlook certain factors in making decisions. The best example is that of Lehman Brothers. During the 2008 economic crisis, they declared bankruptcy with liabilities nearly 40 times their assets. This happened because they became overconfident with their investment succcesses and hence made several bad decisions although the warning signs of an imminent economic crisis came in 2007, a year before they declared bankruptcy.</p>

<p>Success can also lead us to isolate ourselves from others. While this may seem like a harmless act, we can take a leaf from what happened to China. China, after their successes during the Tang and Song dynasties, chose to isolated themselves during the Ming dynasty. While China led the world in artillery during the Tang and Song, their wapons soon fell behind European firearms during the Ming as they isolated themselves and halted the inflow of knowledge into China. Thus, while European firearms flourished during the Renaissance, Chinese ones remained the same. This problem became severe during the Opium War when the British took Hong Kong and Shanghai due to their superior weapons.</p>

<p>Indeed, success can have pernicious effects. If we can take a leaf from history, surely, we can avoid success from becoming our greatest failure. </p>

<p>Note: There might be factual errors in the essay.</p>

2

<p>Another essay. Choose any one to grade!</p>

<p>Question: Do we need other people to know ourselves better?</p>

<p>Answer:-</p>

<p>Ever since the Enlightenment, man has sought to understand himself better. The rise of psychoanalysts such as Carl Jung sparked people’s interest to know themselves better. A cursory search on Google can display hundreds of psychology tests, thus indicating their popularity. While we aggressively seek to know ourselves, is it important for us to engage our friends and family together in this effort?</p>

<p>My answer is yes. Firstly, we need others to analyse our behaviour and how we act in public We can then compare their analysis on us with what we thing of ourselves. From here, we can then see through our own motives which can blind us. A close friend can recount to us how we react under different situations and give their analysis. A person in history who successfully deployed this was Socrates. Socrated employed a certain form of interrogation which could inevitably expose the motives, thoughts and opinions of the interviewee. He was eventually executed on the ground that he corrupted the minds of the youth.</p>

<p>Secondly, we need other people as examples. Different people embody different characters. From the analysis done by experts on these prominent people, we can apply the analysis on ourselves and understand ourselves better by looking at the person best embodying our personality. David Keirsey did that when he divided mankind into 16 different personalities and categorised prominent people in each type of personality, and from there, worked his analyis. Today, we can benefit from Keirsey’s work by comprehending the minds and actions of these famous personalities and applying his analysis on ourselves.</p>

<p>Of course, it is not enough to collect and compare data. We ought to discuss our data with our friends and family. They can then offer their insights on the data we have collected. If they do not agree with our analysis, we can rerun an assessment of ourselves to make our analysis more accurate. Isable Myers is a famous lady who performed an anaylsis on herself and later developed a system to analyse others. After discussing her work with her husband and referring to Jung’s works as well, she decided to use her method and publish them. Today, her method is widely used by companies worldwide to screen prospective employees.</p>

<p>Thus, it is clear that we need others to understand ourselves better. If we can heed a Chinese proverb which says that three fools are better than a wise man, we will go far in understanding ourselves.</p>

3

<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous?</p>

<p>Essay:-</p>

<p>A man once said, everyone will soon have his 15 minutes of fame. As we approach closer to such a reality, success stories abound these days. With our economic and political successes, many are reaping the fruits of their labour and reaching the zenith of their life at the height of our civilisation. However, can this success be disastrous?</p>

<p>A man once said, “Everyone will soon have his 15 minutes of fame.” (How are we approaching closer and closer to this reality, which implies that everyone is about to be famous?) Rewrite it as such: (WHAT DOES THIS QUOTE EVEN IMPLY ANYWAY…TOO VAGUE)</p>

<p>A man once said, “Everyone will soon have his 15 minutes of fame.” Such a bold prophetic declaration may sound dubious to many, but more and more success stories abound these days. With the intensified onset of economic and political developments in many parts of the world, many are reaping the fruits of their labour and attaining unparalleled heights of success. DONT ASK A DAMN RHETORICAL QUESTION. JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION BY LINKING IT TO THE PRECEDING QUESTION. All such ostensibly great successes, however, do not come without unforeseen consequences and repercussions that can be equally disastrous. </p>

<p>Sadly, the answer is yes. For one thing, success brings about pride which can lead us to overlook certain problems which we may dismiss as trivial ones. In the Song dynasty of China, the success of the Chinese in administrating the largest and most powerful empire in the world then, China, led them to believe they were invincible. Thus, they did not care about the military situation at the borders. They were caught by surprise when the Mongols, with their Persian trebuchets, defeated the Song dynasty and conquered China. Such was the shock that many officials of the Song dynasty commited suicide, perhaps believing it to be the end of the world. (WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GIVING AN EXAMPLE FROM THE PAST WHEN IN YOUR INTRODUCTION, YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY REFERRED TO SUCCESS STORIES IN THE PRESENT…if you’re going to do this…make a better linking sentence…that ties in the present to the past…</p>

<p>Success can also lead us to take reckless decisions. A study has shown that success increases the presence of certain hormones in the body and thus cause us to overlook certain factors in making decisions. (WHAT KIND OF RIDICULOUS STUDY IS THIS!? IF YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF A FAKE STUDY, DON’T MAKE IT SO OBVIOUS) The best example is that of Lehman Brothers. During the 2008 economic crisis, they declared bankruptcy with liabilities nearly 40 times their assets. This happened because they became overconfident with their investment succcesses and hence made several bad decisions although the warning signs of an imminent economic crisis came in 2007, a year before they declared bankruptcy.</p>

<p>Success can also lead us to isolate ourselves from others. While this may seem like a harmless act, we can take a leaf from what happened to China. China, after their successes during the Tang and Song dynasties, chose to isolated themselves during the Ming dynasty. While China led the world in artillery during the Tang and Song, their wapons soon fell behind European firearms during the Ming as they isolated themselves and halted the inflow of knowledge into China. Thus, while European firearms flourished during the Renaissance, Chinese ones remained the same. This problem became severe during the Opium War when the British took Hong Kong and Shanghai due to their superior weapons.</p>

<p>Indeed, success can have pernicious effects. If we can take a leaf from history, surely, we can avoid success from becoming our greatest failure. </p>

<p>Note: There might be factual errors in the essay.</p>

<p>Just joking with the harsh comments…</p>

<p>Overall well written …work on the introduction as in don’t get too fancy and be direct in making your point …make a few better linking transitional sentences, elaborate on a few more points, and this can potential to be a 11 or 12. Great job!</p>

4

<p>I think your success essay was very good. (a 5 or 6 grade, so 10-12)
I really liked your introductions (for both essays)</p>

<p>Also, please help me with my essay!</p>

5

<p>@donnykim - Thanks a lot. Will try to improve on my essays with less than 48 hours left.</p>

<p>@aria123 - Thanks too. I’ll grade your essay.</p>