Grade my Official BB Essay?

<p>Hey, the prompt is that of BB #8, which is below. I kinda ran out of time at the end haha. Thank you very much for taking the time to read it!:</p>

<p>"Are heroes those who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?"</p>

<p>My Essay:</p>

<p>As society has progressed, individuals have increasingly sought to avoid disapproval by their family, peers, or community over all other ideas. As such, communities, in danger have a tendency to stay quiet, rather than openly exclaim their issues with their society. In this mindset, heroes, should be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it. Examples from literature (1984), civil rights history (MLK), and current events (middle eastern revolutions) prove that heroes are those who speak their mind when those around them are too craven to do so.</p>

<p>1984, a dystopian novel written by George Orwell in 1948, epitomizes the idea that heroes are people who do not follow subservient societal norms. In this classic, protagonist Winston Smith lives in society rules by a totalitarian government which leads by power, violence, and fear. Individuals are expected to be submissive to government propaganda at all times; for example, those who voice thoughts of rebellion are openly executed, and people who do not work/are not patriotic are punished with torture. While each societal member disapproves of his/her style of dehumanized living, they are too afraid to voice their thoughts. Smith, on the other hand, is recalcitrant and obstinately refuses to live in such conditions. In this obdurate mindset, he sets out to oust the government through spreading anarchist news, defying societal norms by advocating promiscuity, and, ultimately, engaging in violent action towards the government. In the end, Smith's ideals have become so widespread that the authoritarianism seems to be on the brink of defeat. Overall, Smith's actions in championing the freedom of the people when others were afraid to do so rightfully define him as a hero.</p>

<p>Beyond literature (fictional, yet shockingly contemporary), history from MLK during the civil rights movement additionally insinuates that, when one advocates ideas that others are afraid to proclaim, he/she is thereby the "hero" of their society. During the early 20th century, MLK championed the rights of African Americans through civil disobedience. However, many tend to forget that MLK was also a large leader in the women's movement for civil rights and suffrage. In 1910, both movements were gathering momentum, yet were unable to work alongside each other for fear of arousing further public disapproval. However, MLK was quoted in 1912 as saying "We can never succeed until we all come together under a single umbrella of freedom." By 1915, both women and African Americans were applying their ideals in collaboration of social equality, achieving a great deal of increased success. Had MLK not served as the connection between the two groups, such a connection (that served as a harbinger for the monumental civil rights successes in 1936) might never have been seen, leading MLK to effectively be known as a hero for both groups.</p>

<p>Finally, current events, primarily the recent middle eastern revolutions, prove that saying what one thinks when others lack the courage to do so is irrefutably a heroic action. Before this year, countries across the area such as Egypt, Tunisia, and Libya has lived under despotic, dehumanizing leaders who had done nothing to assuage external threats nor domestic unrest. However, in 2011, civilians from such countries realized the need to oust their respective leaders, which had not been said before due to previous fears of decapitation by the heads of the government. In May, Egyptian rebel leaders were the first to strike, launching a cascade of successful revolutions across the area. In culmination, the heroic events of such rebels in stating their discomfort when others did not proved to cause landmark, democratic changes in their societies.</p>

<p>After analyzing examples from literature, history, and contemporary events, it is clear that, indeed, heroes should be those who say their thoughts when others lack the courage to do so. As a society, we must advocate such voices to pass liberty on to the next generation. In a world of increasing threat and corruption, such liberty is irrefutably crucial.</p>

<p>bump anyone?</p>

<p>Definitely in the double digit score range. If I were grading, I’d absolutely score this a 12 out of 12. Not to mention the prodigious length.</p>

<h1>Varied range of college level vocabulary used in the correct context</h1>

<h1>Good progression and transitioning.</h1>

<h1>Convincing examples.</h1>

<h1>Good introduction and conclusion.</h1>