PLEASE Grade my essay?

<p>Question: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it?</p>

<p>Although the term "Hero" is a subjective term that has garnered a association with those who accomplish extraordinary feats, it has been delineated both in history and literature that simply voicing ones opinions and defying the status quo of society can be considered "heroic" </p>

<p>In the early 1900's, the United States were undergoing an economic boom; The 1930s was an era of halcyon, a period in which big industries defined the face of the new nation. However, such success also came with its consequences. The rapidly increasing prices of stocks, over-speculation, and a variety of other factors contributed to the great depression. The depression pummeled the then burgeoning nation into debt and unemployment, inducing ubiquitous depravity. </p>

<p>The president at the time, Hoover, did little to ameliorate the depression. His efforts were often selfish and feckless. However, Hoover was eventually succeeded by Franklin Delano Roosevelt, a charismatic man who promised to restore the economy. Needless to say, Roosevelt kept his words. He implemented a series of "New Deals" and passed a myriad of legislations that helped abate unemployment; he assume power and broke traditional qualifications of the executive to complete his goal- to help the american people. He was undisputedly regarded as a hero by millions of americans. </p>

<p>In the book 1984 by george orwell (Pseudonym of Eric Blair), the protagonist Winston Smith was in discordance with the totalitarian government. Though he is prohibited from thinking, he thinks nontheless. He tries to liberate himself and his eventual lover, julia, from the new world order. Unfortunately, his actions were met with immense opposition that eventually resulted in the victory of the state. However, despite Smiths failure to free himself from the tyranny, he represents the will in us all. He represents the individual, the maverick. To us, he is a hero. </p>

<p>heroes are often portrayed as extraordinary in the light of mere fantasy, where a man saves a town of people from a physical threat. We see that this is not always the case; Whether it be in history, or literature- or even fantasy- heroism can take the form of expression, individuality, and the pursuit of freedom and peace. </p>

<p>Please leave feedback, thanks guys.</p>

<p>bumpity bump bump</p>

<p>4/6.</p>

<p>There were numerous grammatical errors I spotted, for example ("garnered a association") ("United States were undergoing") ("eventual lover, julia,") ("the american people").</p>

<p>In your intro, you should introduce your examples, instead of just saying "from history and literature".</p>

<p>Good examples, but on the real SAT, this would most likely receive a 7 or 8.</p>

<p>An 8 from me. It seems a little off-topic though.</p>

<p>[ul]You have a strong vocabulary and sentence variation, which is probably your strongest point.[/ul]
[ul]Your examples are not very convincing. Though they're examples of heroism, they don't really prove that "people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it" are heroes.[/ul]
[ul]There are numerous grammatical errors. It's OK if they're just typos, but you don't want to make them on the actual test.[/ul]
[ul]In your conclusion:

[quote]
heroism can take the form of expression, individuality, and the pursuit of freedom and peace.

[/quote]

Though it's not what you're saying your essay, a reader might argue that Roosevelt was a hero because he led the US to victory in war against the horrible, blood-thirsty Nazis. So I dunno, maybe he/she won't see FDR as someone who's expressive - or even if he was after the "pursuit of freedom and peace".[/ul]</p>