Grade my practice essay?

<p>I'm taking the SAT tomorrow and I wanted to get in the zone for essay writing...so I took a prompt from the College Board Book and wrote an essay. I've never taken the SAT and don't really know what to expect for grading on the essay, so if anyone wants to grade my essay that would help me out a lot. Tips and advice would also be very much appreciated. Thanks!</p>

<p>The old saying, "be careful what you wish for," may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one's perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life's difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once "success" is achieved than they were before.</p>

<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay...</p>

<p>Essay:
Striving towards a goal is a respectable endeavor and can lead to happiness and prosperity. However, people sometimes zone in on a specific goal and will stop at nothing to reach it. Although these people attain their much wanted goal, disastrous side effects come along with it. </p>

<p>Students try to do their best in school and receive high grades at the same time. Sometimes, a student wants to get those A+'s so badly that he or she disregards everything else. One example of this is of a student, who, in his attempt to get an A+ average, begins to stop hanging out with his friends to have as much time as possible to study. Over time, the student's friends realize that he is so focused on grades that he can't even take a much needed break to watch a movie or play some frisbee. Although the student achieves a 98 average at the end of the year and also makes the honor roll, he doesn't have anyone to celebrate with. Because the student was so intent on getting high grades, he didn't notice that he was distancing himself from his friends. In the end, the student reaches his goal, but losing his friends was the disastrous consequence.</p>

<p>Success has also been disastrous in American history. During the Gilded Age. businessmen made millions and helped boost the American economy. People like Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller became industrial giants. These wealthy individuals achieved success but at the expense of thousands of American citizens. Part of the huge profits gained by Rockefeller and Carnegie was a result of the extremely low wages of the workers and the unreasonably high prices of their goods. Disaster struck the working people of American as the average lifespan of a factory worker dropped to 17 (Anyone know if this is actually true? I think I remember researching something like this). Millions starved as workers were unable to provide food for their families. The success of the economy in the Gilded Age was extremely detrimental to the health of the people.</p>

<p>Conclusion + More facts = 9-10</p>