A person needs at intervals to separate himself from family and companions and go to new places. He must go without his familiars in order to be open to influences, to change.
Katharine Butler Hathaway, The Journals and Letters of the Little Locksmith
Assignment: Is it necessary to leave friends, family, and a familiar environment to change and grow as a person? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
It is much harder to achieve success within one’s “comfort zone” than out of it. Personally, it was when I went away to a summer music camp that I noticed that I flourished most as a musician. Out of my usual boundaries, I was forced to make valuable and exciting new friendships and gain insight from new teachers. The new environment was refreshing and catered to my needs as a trumpeter. I have never felt as much growth in my life as I did at camp, and thus believe that in order to truly succeed it is necessary to step out of one’s familiar environment.
In AP Biology, my class has been talking about evolution, so naturally we also discussed the life of Charles Darwin. Charles was born to a domineering father who required that he become either a doctor or a priest. Charles, however, had no interest in these subjects, and instead began studying species as a young naturalist. Defying his father’s wishes, he left England on the HMS Beagle to map and document the specimens of South America, namely the Galapagos Islands. Although he had never done anything of the sort and complained about loneliness and the dirty and crowded ship, it was on this expedition that Charles was able to formulate the mechanism of evolution. He described his voyages through Brazilian rainforests as “both the intellectual and emotional peaks of my life.” When I learned this information, I thought back to summer camp and how being placed in an unfamiliar environment pushed me to succeed.
One might argue that being able to rely on unchanging circumstances and having the support of family and friends is what helps people grow. This is wrong because in a familiar environment, people are not pushed to do their best. Knowing one’s teachers and parents’ expectations allows one to know exactly what to do in order to satisfy them. In a new surrounding, however, one does not know this information and will have to do their best for themselves, their peers, and their teachers. Thus, it is obvious that being in an unfamiliar environment facilitates one’s growth.
Please grade the essay as the real graders would out of 12, or 6 if you really want. Specific tips would be helpful. I realize there’s a few minor grammatical issues and I was in a bit of a time crunch so the structure wasn’t the best it could be.