Grade my SAT Essay?!?! ASAP and good comments please! 1-12?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt: What motivates people to change? </p>

<p>Essay:
<indent>"We need change!" These were the words that would become emblazoned upon TV screens all across the world in 2008, as Barack Obama became the 1st colored president of the USA. Change can be very risky, because what the future holds is unclear. No matter how big the change is, however, people will always change because we are not static; we live dynamic lives and change brings life to our work. The industrial revolution, career choices, and social changes are all examples that confirm that fact that change comes from our dynamic nature: to be more efficient and faster.
<indent>The industrial revolution was a ground breaking, world changing event. In the 1800s, Great Britain changed from a relatively static and agricultural village to the hub of the new world. All of the resources were there, the coal, the capital, and the motivation, which was the dynamic spirit of humans. In less than 50 years, countries around the world shifted to a more industrialized mindset and we have never gone back. People wanted a better way of doing something, a fast way to do the work. The industrial revolution gave us faster production of automobiles, less work, and better results. As a consequence, humans changed dramatically.
<indent>On a more personal level, many people have to choose careers once out of school. However, as we all know, some have to change jobs or even careers once in their life! Due to our dynamic nature, people change jobs to get a job that's more exciting, or more affluent. After all, change can be very risky; people don't know 100% what the next job will hold but they still take the chance because there's the possibility of a brighter future - as was also voiced by Barack Obama's supporters during the 2008 election. Not only did Barack Obama bring change to the color barrier of the oval office, he also brought great change to the policies of the capitol. People were motivated to change, primarily because of their dynamic spirit, and wanted a better life, and improvement to the current one, which Obama seemed to suggest with his change. In the end, he was elected, and regardless of how well he performed (or not), a risk was taken and the people have to lived by the results.
<indent>Ward Sybants, author of "planning in School Administration" a Handbook", certainly was right about change being risky. But people like a desire change not because it's risky, but because it is dynamic and offers a better alternative to the current situation. The Industrial Revolution eased our way of living with mechanized tools/gadgets, job changing leaves us with a better or more fulfilling job, and in Politics, Obama offered hope to the hopeless after 8 years under his predecessor. Non of these changes could have taken in effect without the nature of the human spirit, walling in risk, driven by hope: dynamic.</indent></indent></indent></indent></p>

2

<p>You did a great job on stylistic flair, which is a definitely a plus to the reader(off the rubric). However, your transitions were a bit abrupt, so try to get a smooth flow throughout your paragraphs. Examples are well thought out and placed throughout the work. I’d say it’s around 8-10.</p>

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3

<p>Is knowing facts as important as understanding ideas and concepts?
Ideas and concepts are a very important part of our life. Ever since we were born, we have been taught to do certain activities; however we learned them from watching other people and then getting the idea of it, not by learning something from a book. Facts make something unquestionable, even though they may change from time to time, whereas understanding concepts makes a person understand the inner workings of an object or a theory and whether it is plausible or not.
The disproved theory of the sun revolving around the earth was at one point considered a fact. Those who just learned this from a book and never researched what was behind it in the end were less intelligent, in comparison to those who did. Galileo was someone who did learn the concept and was thus able to understand why it was not correct and thus proved to us our current theory of the solar system.
Now let us take the theory of an expanding universe, for many centuries scientists believed that the universe was static, even those like Einstein. This was so, because these people were fed these facts from a book and never explained the concept behind it, by their teachers. Due to this they were not able to understand that it was incorrect, Einstein even included this flawed concept in his famed theory of relativity just because he believed that a static universe had to exist.
In conclusion, the circular motion of the earth around the sun is proof that understanding concepts is more paramount in increasing our intellectual capacity. All modern-day discoveries validate this opinion because we can introduce new ideas on concepts whereas we cannot introduce new ideas on facts unless we understand them.</p>