Grade my SAT Essay? Shooting for a 12. Will grade back!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Prompt:
Do actions, not words, reveal a person or group's true attitudes and intentions?</p>

<p>Actions, not words, reveal a person's true attitudes and intentions. In other words, actions speak louder than words. Throughout the extent of mankind, and insightful works on extraordinary literature, the critical evidence to corroborate my comprehensive outlook is pervasive. </p>

<p>Through the actions of Mahatma Gandhi, it is evident that actions, rather than words, reveal a person's true intentions. In the early 1900's, the British ruled India. Although many people voiced their opposition to the cruel reign of the British, nobody bothered actually doing something about it. That is, until Gandhi decided to practice nonviolent methods in hopes of achieving freedom for India. Gandhi was one of the few who expressed genuine concern about the current state of affairs in India and actually decided to take a stand for what he believed in. His actions exemplified his concern for his nation. Soon, others began to follow Gandhi's example; they began to follow his principle of civil disobedience, which was the practice of collectively disobeying the orders of the British. Although some of the immediate consequences were harsh, the actions of Gandhi and his followers ultimately bore fruit. The British receded out of India, giving it its freedom. Because Gandhi's tactics were so successful, he is now considered one of the most prominent founding fathers of India. Hence, actions reveal a person's true intentions much more than words do. </p>

<p>As demonstrated by Napoleon in "Animal Farm" by George Orwell, actions depict a person's actual attitude and intentions more than words do. The story takes place on a farm, and revolves primarily around the animals living on it. However, there is actually an underlying meaning to the farm. It actually represents communist Russia, in which there was conflict between Lenin and Stalin for dictatorship. These characters are represented by the pigs Snowball and Napoleon, respectively. The pigs are by far the most intelligent of animals on the farm, while the rest are not bright at all. After the antagonist, Napoleon, chases his only rival, Snowball, off the farm, he begins exploiting the low intelligence of the other animals. In his meetings, Napoleon would discuss how the farm is prospering under his effective rule, and the animals would not doubt him, when, in fact, he was extremely disingenuous. He would steal food behind their backs and make them do all the laborious tasks around the farm. Clearly, actions provide the most accurate representations of a person's true intentions as depicted by Napoleon. </p>

<p>Through the examples of Gandhi and Napoleon, actions, indeed, reveal a person's true attitudes and intentions. The idea that actions speak louder than words ultimately leads to a more progressive and harmonious society.</p>

2

<p>7 or 8. Graf 1 has some problems, but the biggest is that it doesn’t really support your thesis; instead, it seems to make the point that actions, not words, are effective. The prompt is about which one reveals one’s true intentions, but you don’t show that the people who thought but didn’t act had intentions any less noble than Gandhi’s.</p>

<p>I don’t have time to go into more detail now, unfortunately. Best of luck on Saturday!</p>

3

<p>Hello, I actually would like this prompt to come up xD. Well 7-8 is fair as you have somewhat of a contradictory stance as mentioned above. Furthermore, your conclusion is very weak. Examples I would use would be Castro, MLK, Mao Zedong, Hitler etc.</p>

4

<p>How can I improve the conclusion?</p>

5

<p>How to get 10+ every time on essay (I promise):</p>

<p>Intro:

  • 1 line of whether you agree/disagree
  • Thesis with 3 examples (from history or literature)</p>

<p>Paragraphs

  • Make each with 5-6 sentences
  • Have intro and conclusion of each example (into/conclusion can be very similar)</p>

<p>Conclusion

  • Ultimately, [repeat thesis]
  • Give some closing line</p>

<p>MOST IMPORTANTLY: Make sure your entire essay fills the entire two pages.</p>

<p>I got 10 and 11 doing this. (800 writing both times)</p>

6

<p>Kieran - Thesis ** must ** include the examples? I always use a generic one that works for every prompt (see above).</p>

7

<p>^I would like to know this as well…some teachers tell me not to put my 3 examples into the thesis, but idk…
what is the best way to go about it?</p>

8

<p>heres my 2 cents:

  1. Adage, thesis, examples i.e archetypal, illustrations etc.
  2. Examples, link to each other through how each one demonstrates the same notion, using words i.e similarly
    3)Conclusion, use a contrast or a quotation.</p>

<p>Usually gets 11-12</p>

9

<p>Please grade my essay and give comments. Thank you so much!</p>

<p>The prompt was “Is creativity needed more than ever in the world today?”</p>

<p>Numerous ingredients are essential for the recipe of future success in our society and planet. Among these, the easily most essential quality needed in the status quo is an explosion of creativity. Most dictionaries explain that creativity is the “ability to reason abstractly.” With that said, it is so much more than that. It is not a stretch to claim that creativity is the defining characteristic of intelligence that can make or break success. Without question, creativity is vital now more than ever in the world because it allows people to break down the constructs of routine society while also promising massive technological breakthroughs.</p>

<p>In his classic novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey elucidates how creativity is necessary to fight the restrictions society and the world enforce. Quite simply. he argues through the text that creativity is nothing less than freedom. In the novel, the protagonist McMurphy gets arrested for a small crime and chooses to serve time in a mental asylum rather than a traditional penitentiary. He fails to anticipate that this asylum is run by a power-hungry totalitarian dictator named Nurse Ratched who has cleverly tapped the patients on the ward and removed all their freedom. McMurphy’s massive creative abilities allow him to open up new avenues for the patients to rebel and fight for increased freedom. For example, McMurphy both plans a carnival and a fishing trip to achieve this paradigm shift for how the ward is run. Through both of these creative avenues, McMurphy allows the men to have fun and taste freedom, ultimately leading to the demise of the dictatorship of the nurse. As is clear, it was only through McMurphy’s creativity that the micro-society of the ward was revolutionized and in the same way, creativity is needed in order to fix the fundamental issues with out society.</p>

<p>In addition, Mark Zuckerberg’s creation of Facebook is brilliant proof that creativity is of the highest necessity to cause technological advance. Mark Zuckerberg is a true genius in countless aspects. Importantly, his massive creativity led him to explore revolutionary new ways to connect people on the internet. Years of insight and “messing around” with computer programs in undiscovered realms led him to the idea of creating a social network. In the late 2000s, all this creative exploration came together with the launch of Facebook the revolutionary website that connects individuals across the globe. Indeed, his creativity led to this leap in technology and our world needs creativity to further future technological innovations.</p>

<p>When examining the facets of our world that need to be reinvigorated, creativity is an obviously one. Through breaking down the constructs of traditional society and through the advancement of technology like with Facebook, the importance of creativity is more blatantly clear that is ever has been.</p>

10

<p>@jasoncheung: What do you mean by using contrast?</p>

11

<p>If you grade my essay I will be more than happy to grade yours! Please help :)</p>