Grade my SAT essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>topic:
"Hold fast to your dreams, for without them life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. "
Langston Hughes
Is it important to have dreams about the future, or can you live a happy, successful live without them?
Plane and write an essay expressing your opinion on this question. Support that opinion with examples based on your experience, your observations, or your studies</p>

<p>Dream. What exactly is a dream? Dreams can be either the ones that one experiences during the REM cycle of their sleep or simply a dream which is a goal or their aspirations for the future. Dreams are key elements that shape the future of our societies. Humanitarians such as Martin Luther and Mahatma Gandhi; all had a dream. Dream for a better future for their race. Dream for a better future where everyone is treated equally. Furthermore, dreams are just as important for a society as a whole as they are for an individual.</p>

<p>Without dreams our lives would become prosaic and monotonous. It gives an individual the power to be whoever they want to be. The power to fulfill their aim and wishes in life. Living a life without dreaming would be like driving through a city without thinking about traffic. Albeit, a person will not spontaneously combust without dreams, however, their life will be wistful.
Martin Luther dreamt for a future, a future in which every man, regardless of their skin is considered an equal. His famous speech “I have a dream” clearly shows how a dream of one man became a reality for the rest. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, a man named Mahatma Gandhi was fighting for the freedom of his country. A country which had been under the British rule for over a 100 years. Gandhi, a pacifist, dreamt and fought for India’s independence. Freedom turned out to be the wings that India needed to fly. Similarly, dreams are the wings we need to fly. Without these bold dreams, our society may still have been following antiquated laws. The unique power of dreams combined with the people like Gandhi and Luther changed the world for the better.</p>

<p>Dream is like a science in itself, its true potential is still unknown to many. A science which has changed the world we live in. </p>

<p>This is the first essay i've written in a while so it may not be my best work.
Thanks alot.</p>

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<p>bump??>…</p>

<p>thnx</p>

3

<p>The good: Your ideas are there. They just need to be clearly stated.</p>

<p>You have some grammatical mistakes scattered around … here’s an example:
“Humanitarians such as Martin Luther and Mahatma Gandhi; all had a dream. Dream for a better future for their race.” </p>

<p>incorrect semicolon usage and then it’s sorta awkward in the next sentence.</p>

<p>but the bigger problem has to deal with the actual evidence. you have a lot of what I call “fluff” - it sounds pretty nice and fluent, but the actual meat isn’t there. You have one sentence describing MLK’s speech. One. You need to elaborate on that - you could even remove this part -
“Without dreams our lives would become prosaic and monotonous. It gives an individual the power to be whoever they want to be. The power to fulfill their aim and wishes in life. Living a life without dreaming would be like driving through a city without thinking about traffic. Albeit, a person will not spontaneously combust without dreams, however, their life will be wistful.”</p>

<p>and spend more time detailing your evidence.</p>

<p>how much room did you take up with that? just curious. Was it two full pages?</p>

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<p>I didnt do it on paper. I wrote it on Kaplans SAT software. But i doesnt grade it.</p>

<p>I wrote another essay on the SAT online course website- and it gave me a score of 10. But in that i used real facts not just ‘fluff’.</p>

<p>Thanks for your feedback.
How much do you think this would have scored- 3/6, 4/6? </p>

<p>Thanks</p>

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<p>don’t use the online course stuff - it grades based on length and some random crap. I tried pasting in some random piece of text and it gave me a 6. lol.</p>

<p>i’m not too familiar with the grading scale yet so I wouldn’t know too much.</p>

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<p>ok thanks.</p>

<p>I didnt actually write that long. Around 300 words.
I saw somewhere that examiners spend around a minute on each essay, so making it too long is useless.</p>

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<p>it’s useFUL. the longer it is, the higher score you’ll get. There was a study done somewhere that showed a direct correlation between length and score.</p>