<p>How are the sororities at UD? I'm interested in rushing for spring semester, I'm just a little bit scared of 1. Any hazing and 2. Not having much time to do it (with other extracurriculars and school work)</p>
<p>goincraz4college- I think LINYMOM has a D who went through sorority rush and hopefully she will reply to your question.</p>
<p>So —while we are waiting for her to respond–I have a couple questions for you: How has your first semester as a freshman been? Was UD what you expected or where there any surprises? What is the social life like? How are your courses? How is the local area- do you find things to do?</p>
<p>my daughter rushed last spring and it is certainly one of the highlights of her life at UD. she had no hazing at all and from what she heard from others that joined different sororities, hazing hardly happens. the whole experience is stressful because there are a lot of girls and only so many spots. it is hard to make impressions in a short time period but if you go in with an open mind and let the process work, you won’t be disappointed. my daughter thought she had her heart set on one and wound up in another and thanks her lucky stars every day that things worked out as they did. i won’t lie, the pledging is time consuming. you will really have to be organized and budget your time because there are required events most nights at first. it is well worth it though. have fun and good luck!</p>
<p>pamom59: my first semester was great! I expected a lot from UD, especially from the out of state tution price. So i reallllly expected them to have great academics and a great social life. And amazingly, it was all up to expectation. The academics are truly great, the professors I’ve had so far are really good at what they do. It’s definitely a hard transition, high school to college, which i wasn’t prepared for. But next semester I know how to manage my time. I really couldn’t ask for a better social life. I have two separate friend groups, one in my dorm and then I joined the Deltones, so I have them. My friends at the dorms will literally do whatever everyone is wants. If someone wants to stay in and watch movies and pig out then that’s what we’ll do. Mostly we go out, but there are definitely times where we stay in (if it’s raining, it’s cold, etc). But i can guarantee you, if you are someone who doesn’t like to go out and party, you will still love UD. There are so many things you can participate in that doesn’t require going to parties. Having a mainstreet is PERFECT. Me and my girlfriends can go out to dinner for birthdays, i can get food for my dorm, i can get my books, really anything. I couldn’t ask for a better school, I’m really happy there and I CANNOT wait to go back!</p>
<p>suzyt123: thanks for your input! mind if I ask what sorority your daughter is in? And the time thing is what I’m worried about. But I will see how much I can handle it after rush. Thank you again!</p>
<p>goincrazy: Its great to hear your feedback…glad things are going so well!</p>
<p>By D is a freshman and went through sorority rush at a different school. From what I heard, rush week is very tiring, consisting of parties almost everyday. After that, things settle down but there are still a lot of activities after you get a bid, leading up to initiation. And then, after that, it seems like there are lots of parties, and fundraising events. Since you already are involved in an extracurricular, I’d make sure you think you’ll have the time to commit to the sorority, your other activites, plus your studies. If you are a person that likes to be busy, likes to socialize and plan parties, then I think you would like sorority life.</p>
<p>My D rushed last spring and it was a positive experience. However, more of the pressure stems from trying to keep up with all of the social aspects and still do well academically. The Rush is one thing for recruitment but then there’s Big/Little week that is accented more in sororities than frats. Chapter meetings are a must too as well as the needed philanthropic hours. Most of the girls experienced a drop in their GPA after recruitment. My D got slammed on this because she had a half dozen ECs going on at the same time. Another friend ended up on academic probation. You really need to prioritize what is most important to you to balance it and manage your time like a hawk. There’s also a lot of financial commitments in the beginning. T-shirts, dresses for formals, event tickets, dues etc.</p>
<p>However, my D wouldn’t trade any of it for the world and she is far from the stereotype sorority gal. She is looking forward to being on “the other side” of recruitment when they return to UD this weekend.</p>
<p>My D may be accepted into the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority at Santa Clara University. Any idea what the hazing is like?</p>
<p>Mamabear1:
You probably should post your question on the Santa Clara Univ. CC site instead of here on the UD CC site. Your odds of getting some responses would be much better.</p>
<p>goincraz4college:
I would agree with the comments by polkadotma369. In addition there are continued costs throughout ones college years to be a sorority member. My D was a sorority memeber at UD from 2006 thru 2010. For her last 3 years I would estimate the costs at over $1000.00 per year (at least), which is not cheap. You need to be aware of these costs (obviously it varies depending on the sorority) if you plan on joining a sorority. Sorority activites do take up a lot of time as well throughout the school year, even beyond the rush period. My D was a Nursing major and really had to budget her time well. If you are not good at this I would not recommend joining a sorority. With all this being said my D really enjoyed being involved in a sorority and felt it rounded out her educational experience at UD very well. Best wishes to you.</p>
<p>Now that the bids are out, I feel comfortable posting. My daughter did not find rush a great experience. Yes, she did enjoy meeting and talking to the girls but I received the crying calls when she got turned away by many of the sororities she wanted. She did end up getting a bid from one sorority that she did want so I am grateful for that. Her roommate did not fair as well. She dropped out of rush over the weekend when none of the sororities she wanted chose her. The girls are asked to constantly rate the sororities they want and it is a shame that not every girl receives at least one bid from one of their top 5 or 6 choices. I understand that there are only so many spots open but I still feel bad for those that got turned away.</p>
<p>I wonder abmnj1, whether you get the crying calls when boys your D likes don’t follow up for a second date, or whether you will get them later when resumes sent out for internships, graduate programs or jobs don’t pan out or result in a call back. We all want to spare our kids pain, but as a parent you could also look at it as your D getting exposed to those sorts of dissappointments in the more manageable, less devastating context of a sorority non call back and where lots of other girls are not being called back at the same time too. Perhaps learning to see it not as a rejection, but just not a match. And since your D was accepted at a sorrority which she will probably wind up happy in, perhaps she might also see that there can be a silver lining - maybe even a platinum lining - to some temporary failure to be mutually selected: being mutually selected by another.</p>
<p>Come to think of it, UDel wasn’t my D’s first college choice; she did get “turned away” from a few other schools before Delaware accepted her. And she is very very happy now.</p>
<p>So even if rush didn’t seem an unmitigated “great” experience maybe it will turn out to have been a rewarding one. I admit the brighter side may be harder or take longer to see for her roommate.</p>
<p>My d is a sophomore at UD. Here’s the reality… she rushed last year. Rush was stressful as someone else mentioned, not as many sorority spots as there are girls who rush. I don’t know if this is as common in other schools? After rush ends, pledging begins. It is very time consuming for six weeks. The commitment is enormous. Very difficult to keep up grades, ECs, sports, etc. Missing pledging obligations does not seem to be an option. That said, she loved it. Greek life is huge at UD. For males and females.</p>
<p>Well, it did not work out for my daughter and she is devastated. I am hoping it is just an temporary overreaction to the rejection and pain she experienced through rush and now having her nose rubbed in all the pledging fervor that is sweeping the campus, but she actually says that she cannot stay there. Nonetheless, as mhc suggests, maybe it is priceless growing experience to be rejected and humiliated without explanation or feedback and left to wonder it is is your weight, or appearance or some other defect that you always feared was there. I have assured her that no 19 year-old sorority girl could ever be so superficial as to cut girls who don’t fit in based upon appearance…especially with all the training they receive, and strict recruiting criteria that they follow and share openly. My daughter is skeptical about that though, she says girls can be like that, especially in this setting. It is probably a good and edifying thing too that neither UD nor the greek system offer any kind of counseling or support for the girls who are cut or forced toward sororities in which they have no interest. You have to crack some eggs to make an omlette right? Its best left for them to buck up, suffer in silence and if it really gets bad call home to their parents for support. But hey, its worth it right, what is exclusive without exclusion?</p>
<p>I feel for those girls rejected, but they will get over it. I’ve heard that sorority rush at some schools is supercompetitive, so that means some girls will feel like “winners” and others “losers.” From my D’s experience at a different school, I’ve heard that appearance does play into selection at the “top” sororities despite what they may say about official selection criteria. That said, if it were me, I’d rather feel that I had been rejected based upon something superficial like appearance than to feel as if I’d been rejected because no one liked me as a person…</p>
<p>Notwithstanding what I wrote the other day, there is nothing more gut wretching for me as a parent than to have one of my children go through something like this, knowing the pain and questioning they will experience and not being able to do much to help them through it. No matter what we say, or they tell us after we say it, we know that they will go through a period of unhappiness and examining themselves and perhaps feeling wanting. For some, or in some areas, it will just be one more thing added to other things they have felt or experienced or decided about themselves in the past.</p>
<p>I do feel for you and your daughter, crobinpa. About the only thing I can tell you is that we have all gone through or experienced things like that (that’s why it hurts so much now when our kids do too) but have managed to live through it and maybe even gotten better for it.</p>
<p>The best thing I told my daughter when she was being rejected is unfortunately you have no idea what they are looking for and a lot of times it depends on who you spoke to since you only get to talk to 1 or 2 sorority members at each session. The only common denominator I can see with all my daughter’s friends that made the top sororities is that they are all very energetic and outgoing. The quieter girls did not get picked. My daughter’s roommate decided to go visit her friend at another college this weekend to get away for a few days. My mother’s heart still breaks for her. We know what she is going through. My daughter didn’t make the JV soccer team after playing since she was 6 years old even though girls who were less skilled than her made the team. Those girls were bigger and stronger than her. It all comes back to what they are looking for.</p>
<p>I am a freshman that just went through rush this semester. Record numbers of girls decided to rush this year, and although it was a stressful process, it was definitely worth it. In addition to the stress and time rushing takes I was able to meet great girls I wouldnt have run into otherwise. Delaware’s rush is a no frills system which means its pretty much jeans and a provided t-shirt for almost every day. I personally found this much less stressful than having to choose my own outfits and feeling judged for what I was wearing. It only takes place on the weekends, so although it takes up lots of time its not a problem with classes. It is sad when your cut from favorite sororities, but if you keep an open mind you will likely end up somewhere that is a good fit. Some girls do get there hearts broken, but I honestly think if you go through the process with an open mind and realize its not the end of the world if you arent in greek life then you will end up happy.<br>
To answer your questions, I am currently pledging and have had absolutely no hazing (and from what I hear this is pretty much the same with other sororities). Panhellenic is very strict and the sororities seem to take the consequences seriously and care about their new members. In my experience so far, it does take a lot of time, but most of the events aren’t mandatory. There is one chapter meeting a week, one pledge education meeting, and many optional social functions. If joining a sorority is what you want to do, then you will figure out how to manage your time. Personally, I love my new sisters and am so glad I decided to join. The girls who did not end up in the ones they want have moved on and are still having a great time. Greek life is not the only way to have fun at UD (especially if your a girl).</p>
<p>Its nice to think that all is well that ends well, but just keep in mind that it ended very badly for many girls and that they are still hurting and are having their noses rubbed in it every day as the campus swims in greek kitsch. I just can’t get over how these girls are tossed aside and forgotten about so quickly by the greek community, which only hours earlier was promising them sisterhood and everything else that a girl at that age wants to hear. What’s worse is that UD subservently provides the Greek system with the forum, resources, facilities, and most shamefully, hundreds of girls each year as fodder for this hurtful process. And when a large percentage of them are rejected without so much as a hint as to why, UD offers them nothing. </p>
<p>Shame on UD for not looking out for their students, and shame on the adults who apologize for this. </p>
<p>As for the girls who find a sorority, please remember to be considerate of the girls who were left out. My daughter was told by two of her bestest friends with whom she went through rush, that getting a bid and pledging, what is reportedly thee top sorority, they now realize that they will have two kinds of friends: those with whom you get your nails done, and those with whom you go out…especially now that they will be invited to all the exclusive parties and their mani-pedi friends will not. They genuinely hoped my daughter (and their other dorm friends) would understand that they had now been relegated to the former group and were ok with it.</p>
<p>jnkjill44, i think you make a lot of great points. sounds like you really went into the recruitment with an open mind and that makes it much easier. crobinpa, my heart breaks for you and your daughter but try to focus on something better on the horizon. my daughter went thru recruitment last year and most rounds was disappointed and often called home crying. she kept and open mind and in the end, it really did work out that she is now where she should be. she has also gotten involved in some of the student run organizations which has also been a great experience. i would recommend that your daughter look into something like that because it is as great of an experience as greek life. disappointments can turn into gifts in the long run, it’s just sometimes hard to see it at the moment when the sting is fresh. i have seen this time and time again. good luck…</p>
<p>Without a doubt, Suzyt123, what doesn’t kill you generally makes you stronger, and there are important life lessons here not to be lost. Trust me, I have tried all kinds of rational and philosophical approaches with my D. Bottomline, no 19 year old wants to hear it, especially when they know much of it has to do with appearance and other superficial factors. Just look at the photos on the web sites. They are not blind or stupid. At the sametime, there is also a life lesson in calling out and demanding redress to what is just below the surface, a discriminatory and anachronistic practice that has no place on the campus of a modern American university. It really surprises me how university officials and parents here are willing to give the greek system a pass and accept that the damage done to the girls cut is the just price of the exclusivity of the sorority system that abuses them without impunity. Can you imagine if the context here was racial or sexual identity…such overt discrimination would be unthinkable. Because it is largely white girl on white girl discrimination, it goes unaddressed.</p>
<p>As I posted earlier, my daughter did make it into a sorority as did most of her friends, but her roommate did not. I ask about her all the time and remind my daughter to spend as much time as she can with her. So far, the sorority has been taking up a lot of my daughter’s time but she still has time to go out with her friends and roommate. I wish that the university would make sure that each girl got a bid from a sorority that they wanted. What would be the big deal if the sorority took in a few more girls?</p>