<p>Oh and I dont know if anyone noticed, but Dbate is not even a college freshman yet, he is from Texas, and he is going to Yale, which fits right in to the sexist, elitist, stereotype. For my own sociological database, I am curious Dbate, are you over or under 5’ 9?</p>
<p>well, i don’t like guys to do that all the time since i’m perfectly capable of opening a door by myself. but occasionally it wouldn’t hurt. if you don’t like it, just tell them so.</p>
<p>As a guy, Ive always considered asking to split the check, as a college student money is tight, but sometimes I feel like splitting the check has more consequences than benefits after the first date. </p>
<p>Please stop stating that this is 2009 and that gender equality should be considered in all aspects of social life. Gender roles have changed so much over the past 50 years, but it doesnt necessarily mean that you should throw tradition out the window. I open doors for girls and occasionally pay for dinner because it seems like the right thing to do. In my family, I was raised to be a gentleman and as a gentleman I should have the “ability” to provide for my girlfriend or family. Paying for dinner simply implies this, it doesnt mean that we’re trying to make some sort of exchange for goods… </p>
<p>I think that the OP might be putting way to much thought into a simple gesture that is very common when dating.</p>
<p>I believe it is always fair to spilt.
But if the girl want to pay my half I d be glad (I am a guy)… nothing’s better than get free food. lol
if some guy offers to pay for you in a date then it is unfair for him not for you…</p>
<p>Yeah, it’s weird when guys pay. I feel like they only do it so they can use it against you when you don’t do stuff for them. Also, I’d never want to be in a relationship with a guy who needs to do that kind of stuff to “feel like a man.”</p>
<p>^that’s so paranoid. its as if people assume the only reason to pay for dinner is so they can get something later. but if you feel so uncomfortable, just tell them. and if the guy doesn’t understand, then maybe you don’t really want to date him.</p>
<p>Paranoid or realistic? :P</p>
<p>Abby kind of makes sense, I know guys who do expect something in return for paying for dinner. Granted their dbags, but if you are a good judge of character and think you met a nice guy, they won’t care if you ask to split the bill. For me at least, I would be pretty happy about that 
I need to save my cash to pay off college loans.</p>
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<p>Let’s not resort to personal attacks.</p>
<p>It is not a personal attack, it was an attempt at gaining further information for my life experience. However, are there really guys who only buy the dinner because they expect something? that just sounds really creepy</p>
<p>If the guy “expects” something, and you don’t want to, then just don’t do it. It’s that simple. Just because he buys you dinner doesn’t mean you are under some contract.</p>
<p>Besides, you should be able to tell before you go out with said guy if he is “creepy” or not.</p>
<p>^ Not true. I have many friends who’ve been fooled by a “nice guy” facade.</p>
<p>Then they need to take more time to get to know them. I got to know my husband for months before I actually went out on a date with him. If you are nervous, then take things slow. If the guy really likes you, he will stick around. If he is looking for a quick fix, then he will leave you alone…most of the time at least…</p>
<p>There are so many guys out there who will buy you dinner, hold the door, and act sooo sweetly then at the end of the night they get ****ed off when you don’t live up to their expectations. These are generally guys who say they’re “nice guys” or “gentlemen.” Or there are the guys who won’t blow up at you but go around to their friends and mess with your reputation. </p>
<p>If you honestly don’t know the kind of guy I’m talking about, then chances are you’re one of them.</p>
<p>Yeah, AbbyP, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m saying that within the first few dates they realize that the guy is a huge d-bag who expects sex just because he bought her flowers or something. It’s really not that uncommon.</p>
<p>I believe in the guys paying, opening the doors, being gentlemen thing. In the very least when you just starting dating. I can see later on splitting the bill, the doors and all that should stay. Who wants a jerk who acts like it might throw his back out to open a door? I don’t, and I don’t know why a girl would. At the same time, if a guy is going to be a gentleman, the girl should be a lady. Don’t go around acting a rowdy mess and being loud and think you’re going to pull a real gentleman. As far as independence, I think it’s more about knowing that you could pay for yourself if you wanted to. Being independent isn’t doing it all on your own, it’s being able to. </p>
<p>There are those guys that expect you to be so wowed by their manners that they think you’ll sleep with them. These are typical man-hos, wolves in sheep’s clothing. Ha. They usually get around and if they’re upset at the end of the night, it means they’ve been spoiled by dumb chicks falling for their game.</p>
<p>I always expect the person that invited me to dinner to flip the entire bill unless stated otherwise and I always pay for the entire bill if I have invited someone out. I believe it is incredibly rude to ask the person you invited out to pay for their share because you were the one that was asking for the date therefore you are obligated to pay for their half. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. If you cannot afford to flip the bill or find it too “traditional” then do not ask someone out on a date. I would never ever expect someone to pay for their share if I was the one that choose the restaurant and asked them to attend. When someone invites another person, they anticipate the cost of dinner and can choose according to budget. Making the other person pay for their share based on your budget is simply inconsiderate.</p>
<p>When my boyfriend invites me to dinner, he pays. When I invite him to dinner, I pay. It’s simple and straight forward.</p>
<p>If the invitation is mutual then we usually slip costs or someone offers to pay the bill.</p>
<p>If a woman rejects a man’s kind gesture of opening the door for her or holding her books, it just makes me realize how insecure she is in her womanhood. The idea of “oh well I can do it myself” comes off as extremely immature and childish. Sure you could do it yourself, it’s not like the man doesn’t realize this. He is trying to be polite. I open the doors for everyone simply because it’s a polite gesture. I would never protest to someone helping me out or opening the car door for me. This whole argument about “oh I want to be equal, equality for women!” is so incredibly pretentious.</p>
<p>Paying for dinner = prostitution? That’s the single most stupid comment I’ve heard on this forum. There are a lot of jerks out there that have expectations on dates. As a woman, you don’t have to give in to their expectations and you can refuse to date them. If a man takes me on a date and asks for someone that I’m not comfortable with, I will let him know. I do not feel obligated at all to do more than attend a date and have a good time. If they get upset then fine, not my problem.</p>
<p>Vehicle is the most intelligent person on this thread.
Even though I stopped reading after page 2. :D</p>
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<p>I think you mean don’t ask YOU out on a date. There are plenty of confident women (well let’s be honest here, women are generally insecure…) that don’t expect to be paid for. </p>
<p>Who actually does that whole “Hey do you wanna go out with me?” mess still anyways… </p>
<p>"It’s more like “Hey I’m gonna be at [insert place] with some friends and it’s gonna be fun. You should come too ;)” </p>
<p>Disclaimer: Don’t expect to get a date with Vehicle that way though.</p>
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<p>I’ve only ever seen guys randomly open doors for attractive girls. There’s always an agenda behind one’s actions. And no, they’re not man-whores considering they never get any play anyways because they’re too nice.</p>
<p>Oh, I’ve got to disagree! There are some man-hos that get around plenty with their good-manners. These are the “bad-boys” to everyone but you type, and I’ve seen it work many times. Some girls feels like some kind of special flower for this guy to be so nice to her and not to others. Or she’s so used to jerks, she thinks opening the door and buying her flower from the grocery store is just unbelievable. She has to sleep with him or he might get away!</p>