<p>You would think that a thread with this many pages would be about something important… apparently not.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>huh? what’s the double standard? i don’t understand.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Simple things that guys do that perpetuate a stereotype for some are uncalled for. Simple things that girls do that perpetuate the same stereotypes are harmless, however. </p>
<p>I’m a guy and I hold the door for everyone, male or female, but I think it is a bit ridiculous to get offended if you are female and a guy decides to be nice and hold open a door for you. Just like it would be ridiculous to tell a girl not to wear makeup because they are succumbing to male demands that they make themselves look attractive while covering up who they really are. People are really offended too easily these days.</p>
<p>This isn’t really a thread about holding doors open. You should always hold the door open for the person behind you no matter who you are.</p>
<p>This is a thread about a person trying to be your personal servant (such as by always running to hold the door open, among other things). Why would someone want to be your personal servant? Simple. They are extraordinarily desperate for @$$.</p>
<p>Now, if I were the woman in the situation, or even the man someone was serving, I would not care at all. I would love to have a personal servant pulling my chair out and acting as a human cupholder, fluffing my pillow, etc. I would love this.</p>
<p>However, I can see how some women might see it as patronizing. It would be as if you were trying to build something and I ran up and said “Oh just let me do this for you.” Or if you were taking a math test and I just pushed you aside and said “Oh I’ll handle this for you; I’m clearly more capable.” I can see how some people might see it as patronizing.</p>
<p>And it also may reek of desperation which is a huge-turnoff to both sexes.</p>
<p>cuse:</p>
<p>huh? i’m not talking about stereotypes at all. i am talking about real people and how they choose to live their lives. i feel that it is fine if women want to live by gender roles. it is fine if they want to adopt some and reject others. it is also fine if they reject them all. </p>
<p>i really don’t see what you are saying. if i had to guess, you are arguing that you have to either: reject all gender roles or accept all of them. i don’t see why you only have those two choices.</p>
<p>Haha I love the idea that women shave their legs and wear makeup for men. Great.</p>
<p>To quote Nelly Furtado, “Chivalry is dead, but you’re still kinda cute.”</p>
<p>collegebound is half right. Women wear makeup to make other women jealous (not always though) IMO. I think alot of women shave their legs for themselves though, at least I do. It’s uncomfortable to have hairy legs IMO.</p>
<p>I also think that most women feel pressure from other women to do those things. I know when I was younger, I would always feel like I and the other girls in my school were competing to see who could come up with the nicest outfits. </p>
<p>Now I dress however I feel like dressing for the most part, and wear whatever makeup I feel suits me best. If I’m trying to impress a guy, I’ll wear a certain type or style of makeup and dress, but every morning when I get dressed/style my makeup & hair, I’m not thinking about guys. Especially when I shave my legs–I mean, wth?</p>
<p>I don’t know why everyone is getting so heated over this thread. Personally, my mom has told me time and again that she would never date (much less marry) a man that didn’t treat her “like fine china,” so I’m used to the gender roles. Honestly, I like the fact that a guy is courteous enough to open the door for me or pull my chair out… it’s just a sign of respect. If it really bothers you THAT much, then tell them. </p>
<p>People here are annoying.</p>
<p>I don’t even consider it as gender roles, it’s more just what a good American should do; it’s part of culture. Why would any of you want to destroy our precious and delicate culture?! After reading this, I completely agree with people who say that our culture is dteriating…</p>
<p>
Desperation is a huge turn-on to me, regardless of the sex of the other person.
I would discourage the habits being discussed in a cultural sense, but in each individual case, it’s nice for people to be sweet (or, better yet, desperate)!
It would be pretty nice if we could destroy the cultural motivation (gender roles) while preserving the actual act (sweetness), and I think that these days, sometimes, that is exactly what happens.</p>
<p>
.</p>
<p>you gotta cool mom, karabee :)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>there are a lot of guys that are just raised that way. Opening the door, giving up your seat on the bus, pulling out the chair, even footing the dinner bill, etc… it’s just them being polite, simply showing respect. Nothing wrong with these guys, I don’t think they don’t make the world worse. It’s the fakers you have to watch out for, though.</p>
<p>Seriously, everyone should calm down.</p>
<p>Guys aren’t insinuating that you’re weak or incapable by doing things for you.</p>
<p>I mean, I’m a feminist, but hot damn, seriously?</p>
<p>It’s not an insult, it’s manners. My friends and I open the door for each other all the time…not because it’s a guy/girl thing. I’ll open the door for my girlfriends. It’s just common courtesy.</p>
<p>It’s also, as someone brought up, a sign of respect. “I care enough about you to do this nice thing for you.”</p>
<p>Now if you CAN go dutch and you know that the guy you’re with is struggling financially, by all means do it. But making this big of a deal over it is ridiculous.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This. Jesus, people, for being so smart everyone’s been kind of dense on this point. Of course you (by which I mean I and I hope you) hold the door open; (I think) it’s incredibly rude to let it close in someone’s face. </p>
<p>But do you run to open it if the other person’s closer and their hands are free? There’s a big difference between these two things. Duh.</p>
<p>I agree with Lima</p>
<p>Wow, it’s wrong to open doors for people? Isn’t that just common courtesy? </p>
<p>I open doors for guys and chicks. Is that not normal? I’m a dude.</p>
<p>People hold the door open for me as well.</p>
<p>^You should try reading at least the couple of posts right at the end of a thread before you reply so you don’t look like a fool.</p>
<p>I personally carry things and open doors for anyone, regardless of gender; it’s a nice thing to do.</p>
<p>As for guys paying for dates and such… well, this is a bit confusing to me since I’m a guy who dates other guys, but… I like it. I feel terribly guilty, of course, but it’s not a horrible thing for me; I think the best thing to do is bring your own money to cover yourself, and if the guy offers to pay, then he does. (And then eventually work something out that way he’s not always paying; do free stuff, or switch off who pays every time, or go Dutch or something.)</p>
<p>
I think that if you ask someone out, you should pay, unless you make an agreement to split beforehand (which would be a really awkward first conversation).</p>