<p>I would love for a girl to ask me out. I'm way too shy.</p>
<p>well... see if he's into you or not. do a little test run on him and try to flirt a little. you can usually tell if it makes him uncomfortable or if he wants it. i almost asked a guy out b/c i also posted a thread on the internet and people were saying that oh yeah, guys like being asked out by girls. but not every guy will say yes to any girl. so trust your instincts, and save yourself the pain if you feel he isn't that into you.</p>
<p>I would love that.</p>
<p>I don't really mind, but it would be a little weird at first if a girl asked me out just because I'm not used to it at all.</p>
<p>I can't believe anyone still actually wonders about this. It's 2008, get over it.</p>
<p>As for the "no freshmen until November" thing... never heard of it. I wouldn't think much of a junior or senior dating a freshman in the fall though, so I guess waiting until November is less sketchy, not that I think that sways a lot of people. But freshmen (especially first semester freshmen) are not adults. Juniors and seniors in college should be adults. Adults should not be dating children/adolescents/whatever term you want to use, end of story.</p>
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I can't believe anyone still actually wonders about this. It's 2008, get over it.
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<p>I can? Even if us gals are more modern, some guys are still pretty old fashioned when it comes to dating. Blame genetics.</p>
<p>If she's hot it's very nice.</p>
<p>If she's average or ugly I get annoyed and wonder where she got the crack that gave her so much confidence.</p>
<p>Really it depends more on how she asks rather than if she asks. Some chicks are just very aggressive and it's a turn off. Other chicks just seem to barely muster up the courage and it's cute. Although maybe that's still just the hot/not dichotomy that I've created.</p>
<p>I also feel like girls asking guys out makes them feel like they can be lazy and never take the initiative during the relationship.</p>
<p>And I guess guys asking girls doesn't do the same thing to women? Unbelievable...</p>
<p>"He's just not that into you."</p>
<p>Liek, did you read the book?</p>
<p>Nope. Did you?</p>
<p>Makes more sense to blame ingrained social ridiculousness than genetics, IMO. Lots of women as well as men have antiquated ideas about dating and relationships. That doesn't mean it makes any sense. No one is well served by a rigid system where only one party can take the active role.</p>
<p>I say genetics because genetically men are more likely to value something they have earned, versus something that has been given to them. I'm sure I can find a psychological study backing this up but I have no desire to do so at the moment. Maybe later. I'm sure that this whole concept also applies to women. It's all part of our survival instincts, we want what's hard to get.</p>
<p>But even if you could find a reputable psychological study backing up your hunch (which I'm not sure you could), you wouldn't have demonstrated anything about the cause, genetic or otherwise.</p>
<p>owned.</p>
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<p>^^Not necessarily.</p>
<p>Why is what I'm pointing out unacceptable? Seriously, I guarantee you you would not be so into a girl who was all over you versus a girl who seemed somewhat disinterested in you.</p>
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you wouldn't have demonstrated anything about the cause, genetic or otherwise.
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<p>? The cause here is not important, what I would be more interested in demonstrating that my point can be backed with evidence?</p>
<p>This is turning into a petty argument.</p>
<p>Just pointing out you didn't actually say anything to support your assertion.</p>
<p>If everyone wants what they can't have more than what's attainable, then why would anyone ever say yes when they're asked out? Someone being interested in me doesn't make me any less attracted to them. My girlfriend is just as hot now as she was when I wasn't sure she was into me. If anything, a woman playing "hard to get" is a huge turn-off.</p>
<p>You're the one who brought the cause into the discussion. The cause does matter--you're using genetic to mean inevitable, while I think the roles we have now are pretty much arbitrary (albeit a very strongly ingrained arbitrary system). I don't think what you're saying is unacceptable, I just think it's wrong.</p>
<p>But anyway, IMO any guy who would think less of someone for asking him out instead of waiting for him to make a move isn't worth bothering with, regardless of whether he thinks that way for socially constructed or genetic reasons :-P</p>
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If everyone wants what they can't have more than what's attainable, then why would anyone ever say yes when they're asked out?
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<p>I don't know, isn't the reason why girls say "yes" to guys asking them out different for every person? Once the girl says "yes" the guy feels like he worked for the girl's affections and appreciates it more. I don't know why this idea is "wrong", it's not like it's a bad thing.</p>
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Someone being interested in me doesn't make me any less attracted to them. My girlfriend is just as hot now as she was when I wasn't sure she was into me. If anything, a woman playing "hard to get" is a huge turn-off.
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<p>But you weren't sure if she was into you. How does that support your argument?</p>
<p>I prefer it</p>
<p>Well here's my ingrained social ridiculousness. </p>
<p>I think most girls would rather the guy ask the girl out first. You may say it's "antiquated", but I still think most girls would rather the guy have the confidence to ask them out and for the guy to make the first move. Even if you're shy, as a lot of people have said they are, you should build up enough confidence. Maybe my ideals are old-fashioned, but I believe most girls would still prefer it to be this way, with the guy asking the girl out. I always was shy, really shy, actually, but at some point in your life, you have to stop being that way and live. I did and now I'm happily engaged. And I know for a fact that my fiancee wanted me to ask her out instead of the other way around. I never would have though different of her if she had, we just happen to be more traditional.</p>
<p>P.S. I don't really care to start an argument. I was just introducing my two cents. Take it or leave it.</p>
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I don't know why this idea is "wrong", it's not like it's a bad thing.
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<p>Well, you can be incorrect about something (hence, "wrong") without being bad. And as it happens, I do think that idea is a bad thing when it's presented as the inevitable right or universal way to do things rather than a preference some people might have. Some people would rather be more active and some people would rather be more passive in relationships, and that's fine. I just think it's a little screwy to assume men should always be the active ones and women the passive, or that there's something more natural about guys doing the asking.</p>
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But you weren't sure if she was into you. How does that support your argument?
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<p>Because quickly finding out she was interested didn't change anything other than making me happy, and wondering (for all of the thirty seconds it took for her to walk across the room to where I was standing, LOL) whether she liked me didn't do anything to heighten the attraction.</p>
<p>I haven't felt any differently about the people I've dated or hooked up with who approached me than the ones who I approached. And maybe my interactions are just more complicated than everyone else's, but it's not even always clear who "asked out" whom :)</p>