hi.
i’m having a really hard time here as a first year. Everyone seems to party hard here and I don’t feel like i fit in with the culture here. I love many things about the school, but I can’t help but feel like I want to go home.
any tips???
thanks.
The thing about the first few weeks of the first year is that the people who are going out want EVERYONE to know about it. What’s more, some people haven’t had the wake up call that they need to get their work done. Once the first papers and exams happen, you’ll see a change in behavior. It’s good to have an active social life, but UVa students manage to do it while also getting their work done.
Did you sign up for clubs at the activities fair? Start going to the interest meetings. Ask some people who sit near you in one of your classes if they want to organize a study group before the first exam. Take a step and organize something for people on the floor - dinner out, a trip to the movies, sitting together at a game, etc. The soccer teams are white hot right now and tons of people are at the games ([see the master schedule here](http://www.virginiasports.com/calendar/events/))! Also, the Hoo Crew (the students who organize the student section at games) are some of the nicest students I’ve ever met. 
You need to explore and find your niche. That’s not going to happen at home!
Hang in there!
The first few weeks require a great amount of social adjustment, while you are also burdened with college level work.
In a perfect world, everyone would find a group of people in their residence hall who they like to hang out with, and that becomes a circle to meet other people, before you broaden your horizons and meet other people and groups. However, sometimes, it just doesn’t click with the people you live with. In that case, it is critical to find an organization that you can feel comfortable. Just be very careful about chasing a spot in an organization that has a highly competitive selection process. There are many organizations that are happy to take anyone who is interested.
If you have any religious interest or background, you might also look at a local place of worship or explore a new religion. The local places of worship are extremely interested in finding interested young people,and they can provide a supportive environment and social activities.
My son lived on an old dorm hall that was not very friendly. (I think he said it had an unusualy high number of Asian engineering students, and his roommate was a varsity athlete who was rarely there). My son then tried out for a club team and two other organizations as a first year, and didn’t get in. He then joined a less competitive club team, a less competitive singing organization and a laid back fraternity, which were excellent matches for him.
One last warning - some people spend too much time going home for the weekend, and too much time keeping in touch with their old friends, and don’t meet new people. The first month is often your best chance to meet new people at UVa.
I suggest you look into the mailing list for Hoos Sober - a ton of great non-party events. If you PM me your uva id I can forward the most recent email to you (I am still on the list for some reason…! comes in useful when I visit CVille for the weekend anyways). You can also just join the list through sympa.
I found a lot of satisfaction in working a job. I worked one job through the community (Hebrew teacher) and one job through the school (computer science TA). I was in a few clubs (anime club, governance board for my dorm) and two choirs (synagogue choir and a non-UVA community choir). And I studied enough to keep my grades up, went out with my friends (mostly from my dorm but also through classes and clubs) to just hang out, and just tried to be myself. I think I went to a frat party only one time. As the DD. Only 1/3 of UVA is in frats, so the other 2/3 are looking for other things to do honestly.
So definitely look into job/clubs/religious organization, and join the Hoos Sober list to get an idea of events you might want to go to, but don’t be afraid to stay in and study. I would go out 2 nights with friends and stay in 2 nights (we all know the weekend starts on Thursday night at UVA - “Thirsty Thursday” - I think Hereford weekend starts on Wednesday, I wish I remembered the funny name they gave it). Typically I went out Thursday and Saturday (usually with the anime club) and stayed in Friday (got delivery with my roommate and did a little work) and Sunday (homework day).
My dorm was Brown College by the way.