Hi everyone, I’m a college freshman and actually moved into school about a week ago. I really enjoy the campus and feel like I’m in the right place, but I’m having kind of a hard time adjusting. I have always been really close to my family (particularly my mother and sister) and am missing them A TON. I’m supposed to go home for Labor Day Weekend and I’m practically counting down the minutes until I see them again. I also have to call them at least once a day. None of the clubs have really started up yet, but I’m nervous to even try to join one, because it seems like people already have their friends. Everyone else seems to be so adjusted and not homesick at all. They all seem to be making friends while I’m eating by myself in the Dining Hall. I feel really lonely. I definitely think I’m in the right school, because I love all the faculty and from the people that I’ve met, I love the people, too. It’s just been really hard being so far (2 hours) away from my family. I miss them and almost feel kind of guilty for leaving them. I know my mom isn’t showing me, but she’s pretty sad that I’m leaving. I feel guilty for leaving behind my best friend, too, because she’s a senior in high school and I’m now 2 hours away and she’s all alone. I don’t want her to be lonely or feel like I’m replacing her. I’m a dance major, and from what I’ve been told here, the dance majors get really close really fast. However, there’s only two other people in my year that are dance majors and I haven’t met any of the upperclassman. Just looking for some advice on how to adjust to this new life I’m living, deal with homesickness and make some friends. Thanks!
They don’t already have their friends. Everyone is in the same boat as you. You need to give it time. My kid had a hard time adjusting last year and this year, she can’t wait to go back. I PROMISE it will get better, but not immediately. If you aren’t happier by the end of October, come back to us. But I am very sure you will be fine. Meanwhile, participate in as many activities as make you happy, but leave time to relax too. Leave your dorm room open. Read bopper’s pinned post on how to make friends. All your feelings are natural and normal. And forget about guilt, it’s a useless emotion.
Btw, 2 hours is no time at all. What were you doing 2 hours ago? If you really want, you can visit your family, but I would try not to yet. Your high school friend will be fine.
I agree that everybody is in the same boat as you and that it will definitely get better within the next few months. In the meantime keep your door open, say hello to students in the dining hall, and get involved. My daughter was miserable at first… so miserable that I told her to make a list of schools to transfer to. By mid October she was incredibly happy and has been happy ever since. What you are experiencing is normal.
It appears as though there is some happiness beneath the normal feelings of trying to adjust. I agree that the guilt should go… but I recognize that this is much easier said than done. Your happiness and success will make your mom happy, and your friend will adjust.
I’m sorry to hear you feel this way, it’s an awful nervous feeling. But, it’s normal. I felt the same way (YEARS ago) and my son just left yesterday for his freshman year and he is a bit the same way. One thing I noticed in your post, you seem to take a lot of guilt for things you shouldn’t. We all love our friends, but it’s YOUR time to fly. Your friend will be just fine. And you said it yourself that the dance girls become close. That will be great for you. Your friend will always be there for you, but moving forward is part of life! I’m sad that my son is 4 hours away but it is HIS time to fly so I have learned to accept that. Your mom will too, I am sure! Enjoy your weekend home!
I also want to add, NOW is the time to meet those people! Everyone is new right now… open up and reach out! They are more than likely feeling the same way!