I’m a freshman and I’ve been at school in Texas for almost two weeks now. I’m from New Jersey so I won’t be seeing my family for a while and homesickness has hit me very hard especially because I’m so close with my family. I’ve made friends here and there, but I feel as if everyone has a group that they do everything with, including my friends at other schools and I still have not found that. I wasn’t too worried before but I feel like by now I should be feeling better. I’ve signed up for clubs and spirit groups (similar to sororities) but I hate feeling like I have to wait for those to find my friends. I’ve thought about transferring but I know I should give it time although I do wish I was much closer to home. I scheduled to talk to a counselor soon because of how I’ve been feeling at some point almost every day. Any advice?
First of all this is very normal. A lot of first year university students (perhaps half?) are feeling this way right now, even if they don’t admit it to others. Start at university is a huge life change for everyone.
It sounds like you are doing the right things to get to know people. This will get better over time.
Give it time.
It can take some time until you feel like you are in the right place. Keep active, be friendly, get involved in clubs as well as whatever activities the department you are planning to major in are offering… meet the major nights, that kind of thing. My oldest is 10 years out of college and of her very best friends she met and became friendly with second semester junior year.
Everyone else is in the same boat as you even if you feel like that’s not so. You are doing everything right! Keep at it.
It can take a while to find your people and then, to build friendships. This is the part of the college experience that everyone glosses over. Later in life, you may lump this omission in with the things nobody tells you about having kids!
Keep yourself busy, and smile when you don’t feel like it. (People will mistake you for one of the happy ones.) You are SO smart to talk to a counselor as it is likely that there are others in your boat.
Hang in there and be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to enjoy small things, whether it’s a hot shower or the feel of your sheets when you crawl in bed. Slowly, everything else will fill in.
Do a good job academically in the event you decide to transfer. Those grades will matter come spring. Thinking positive thoughts for you.
Remember adjusting to college and being away from home ins a process. You are doing a great job by getting involved and by seeking counseling. Give yourself a lot of credit for going to a new state and for putting yourself out there. You can do it! Don’t even consider transferring at this time. Just keep moving forward one day, one week at a time.
Give it time. Learning to deal with homesickness is not a discrete event, like one day you just flip a switch and you aren’t homesick anymore, never to be homesick again. Homesickness is a sign that you feel loved by your family and that is a good thing. It is a process that comes and goes with intensity sometimes from minute to minute and sometimes not for a hour or two, a day or two, or a week or more. Also, once you learn to cope with the homesickness that you are going through, it may come back at other times later, even when you are happy about what you are doing.
For example, my daughter who is a junior this year, had two very hard days of homesickness after we dropped her off this year even though she was VERY excited to get back to school. She had to move in early because her father and I work outside of the country, so her roommates weren’t there yet. She cried and cried, and spent hours with us on the phone once we got back to Asia (she’s in New England), which was super difficult. But she got through it, and once her roommates and boyfriend got back on campus and classes started she was back to her self.
Hang in there, you can do this!
I don’t really have advice but I would like to let you know that there are a ton of people who are feeling the exact same way. I’m one of them – I just got done crying after thinking about how pathetic I am to be alone in my dorm on a Friday night watching netflix. I also go to school in Texas :P. It seems like all of my other friends have made a friend group at college and I’m the only one who’s struggling. I’m also extremely close with family, had the same friends K-12, etc. I’ve joined everything possible to no avail. I think it’s just the struggle to adjust. It’ll (hopefully) eventually fade.
The way I think about it when I’m getting really lonely is as follows: back when I was in college I’d only hang out with people on week days from 7-4, and a handful of times on the weekend, not every weekend night. It’s okay to stick with that same rhythm in college. Trying to bend yourself to be around people as often as you think is expected of you can be too much. Stay sane and good luck first semester. If youre also at SMU… Pony up 
@iama1styear , read the pinned post at the top of this forum called “to those who feel lonely…”