Having trouble making friends at new school- transfer to IUBloomington. Advice Needed

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Sorry it's long...</p>

<p>I realize the school I have transferred into this semester (I am a sophomore) is known for being "the party destination," but I myself am not a big drinker. It isn't so much that I am violently opposed to alcohol but I just don't really enjoy the taste or the way I feel afterwards. Sometimes it's okay, but I wouldn't be able to stand it every weekend if I tried. I love loud music though! </p>

<p>I have always been told I am attractive, outgoing, and sociable. I didn't have much trouble in high school- I had close friends, and one friend who was so special to me. It's only been five months but I feel like I am not making friends like I should. I met one cute girl but she works a lot. </p>

<p>I took on a lot of coursework this semester and ended up hating most of it. </p>

<p>I am gay, 21, tall, writing major. People in my major are pretentious where as I am more down-to-earth. I avoid hipsters. </p>

<p>So far I've met/gone out with about 7 people solo, usually to this restaurant I really like- almost all of them ended up being a disappointment. Either we didn't click or they just don't enjoy having fun like I do- I laugh alot- and become frustrated with people who just don't appear happy- most of them were gay men who appeared to lose interest when they realized I wasn't interested in anything romantic. </p>

<p>A lot of people I have met here are incredibly rude. I love hanging out with women, and haven't met a single fellow gay male who is like me. It's annoying. </p>

<p>Both of my roommates are your typical "bro" types- we don't get along. I moved in here because two weeks before I was supposed to leave, I learned my roommate was not accepted in the college (transcript issues). I know this hasn't helped AT ALL. </p>

<p>I've tried clubs- they are very cultist and strange (no exaggeration here). </p>

<p>I'm so lost, is college not for everyone? I know my social life is ancillary, but I feel like either I'm in the wrong place- or I don't want to be here anymore. </p>

<p>There seems to be only two kinds of people here: hipster or ******. Or Asians- very cliquey. What can I do?</p>

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<p>276 people view this and no one answers? Come on!</p>

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<p>If people don’t reply, it’s either because they don’t have an answer for you, or don’t want to. Saying “Come on!” is not gonna help.</p>

<p>You seem to have already made your conclusion. You hate your coursework, you think people in your major is pretentious. You are disappointed in the people you’ve gone out with, the people you’ve met, your roommates. You’ve already made conclusions about the people around you, saying they’re hipsters/cliquey/rude etc. It seems like you don’t go well with diversity.
So yeah, the only advise would be to be more accepting and keep on trying to find your niche. Or maybe college really isn’t for you.</p>

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<p>If you can’t find any redeeming value about your situation, then yes, you’re probably in the wrong place. No shame about that, it happens.</p>

<p>Yes, the let’s-all-get-drunk-and-“party” ******** in Bloomington sucks… but there’s plenty of other things to do. When I get bored, I hop on the bike and head into the hills.</p>

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<p>Have you thought about a part-time job? If you work at a cool place maybe there will be some cool people. Work at a place with customers or residents (like a senior living place for example) rather than a library or a telemarketing place. At least you get paid and you can talk with customers too, which gives you some positive interaction. Maybe you are an “old soul” and will enjoy being around older people.</p>

<p>Where does the cute girl work? Maybe she can put in a word for you?</p>

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<p>I’m really not an old soul though. I know it sounds like it, but I am quite playful and very energetic. I just approach my college experience in a more mature manner I guess. The cute girl- works at a popular bar downtown. I have been to it once and been out with her once as well. She drinks- but she isn’t an idiot when she drinks. </p>

<p>What seems most consistent across the board is that people down here are astoundingly stupid- “I drank so much I threw up for twenty minutes” or “I drank so much I let him take me upstairs” are things I hear all to often. The school has a reputation for pretty girls- but these girls dress like playboy bunnies and wear to much make-up which translates to unattractive. </p>

<p>I’m just not sure where to meet the right people. Just some classy people who like having fun and hanging out- going out even, just not drinking to the point where we behave like idiots. When I drink, I notice a very significant difference between myself and those around me. I still keep a level of composure whereas everyone around me- thinks they look cool- but really it’s just embarrassing. </p>

<p>The thing is- I love talking. I had 12 detentions my senior year of high school for talking in class. I also love New York (very ALIVE), and plan on moving there post graduation for my graduate program. I don’t understand why I don’t have the same level of sociability here. It sucks.</p>

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<p>Your parents must be proud of you for being the way you are, you sound so responsible and intelligent.
I don’t blame you for not wanting to be around “losers”, and I wonder why you transferred to a school that you call a “party destination”, if you have no choice then maybe it’s time to look for other friends in the “neighborhood”, don’t be so negative and or judgmental with every person you meet!
How do you know that “There seems to be only two kinds of people here: hipster or ******. Or Asians- very cliquey.”?
Did you even try to be friends with them?
I hope you’ll find your ideal friends soon if not then maybe I can also say you don’t belong there! Sorry! :-(</p>

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<p>I had a similar experience my freshman year at san diego state. I enjoy socializing and drnking but not to the extent that most people around me did. I also took a heavy course load my first semester, which further alienated me from most of my dorm mates who took classes that required bare minimum effort - that or they just stopped showing up to their more difficult classes. I made many aquaintences but no one i really connected with. I felt the same sense of disconnect. I definitely reccomend you do some research on other schools and transfer. Thats what i did and im way happier.</p>

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<p>I’m terrified that by transferring again, I’ll run into the same problems. My goal was to move onto grad school ASAP. New York is my favorite city. It’s where I want to be but as an undergrad it’s going to be ridiculously expensive. Even if my parents would agree to it, I would feel bad dumping that much unnecessary cash down the drain for an undergraduate degree which is useless without graduate school. </p>

<p>I would just like to meet some cool people. It’s becoming insufferable. :frowning: thanks for the advice though guys. I appreciate it.</p>

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<p>I’m not judgemental. The conversation always leads “…and last weekend I was so *****ing drunk like you wouldn’t believe and…” </p>

<p>I have yet to meet ONE person who doesn’t find a way to work it in to the conversation. I can’t hang out with gay men because they don’t friends, most girls are obnoxious and promiscuous. </p>

<p>My roommates are heavily represent the large majority of men on this campus. “She wants my dick,” “sooo wasted,” [sports reference], "let’s hit on some *****es, “PARTY!” is the extent of their vocabulary.</p>