<p>I am a transfer student who is just wrapping up my first quarter at college. Although I am very happy about being here (UC Santa Barbara), I also feel frustrated at times because I haven't made any real friends yet. I am friendly, easy to get along with, and I like to party on the weekends, but I have also been very unlucky because there has been literally no one in the dorms who I can connect with enough to bond with, and no one who I've been living with likes to go out and party on the weekends, they'd rather just stay in and either get drunk in the dorms or just keep it low key and not really do anything. I switched res halls a couple weeks ago, but that hasn't helped, and I'm still not around people I click with. The ironic thing is, most of the other guys at this school ARE the kind of people I would click well with and want to be friends with. I have tried to meet people in classes and start conversations with people sitting next to me, but that hasn't gotten anywhere. I did join a school club recently, and I have met a couple people that could potentially turn into good friendships, but I haven't had the opportunity to ask them if they want to hang out sometime. I just feel frustrated and even jinxed because this is the perfect school for me overall, but my social life so far has been mediocre, and I haven't been to a single party here since the first few weeks of school. I was used to having a very solid social life at home and having friends who I could have fun with and who I had a good rapport with. I'm starting to wonder if I will ever have any really close friends here who I will be able to have fun with on the weekends, since I don't know if it's still easy to make friends during the winter and spring quarters. Any advice or thoughts?</p>
<p>have you thought about rushing?</p>
<p>oh my gosh plinko i'm in like the exact same situation as you (except not at UCSB)!! i completely understand. unfortunately, i can't offer any advice since i'm in need of some myself. but you're not alone!</p>
<p>tcolgate, I've been talking with my old RA in my old res hall for almost the entire quarter about this, and that's actually one of the suggestions she made. It's something to consider, but it's iffy. I've heard many horror stories about rushing and what goes on during rush week, and also, although I like to drink and party on the weekends, I'm not sure if frat drink and party too much for my liking. Otherwise, I guess it's something for me to consider, I'd have to ask people about the different ones on campus and see which one I would like the best. But I'd rather just try to switch rooms again and see if this time I can find something I'll be 100% satisfied with, instead of choosing one just because it's the best option available.</p>
<p>definetly rush, you dont necessarily have to pledge. also, how is the party atmosphere at UCSB? one of my friends wants to go there to study chemical engineering and "surf, smoke pot, and drink on the beach all day and party all night" is that pretty big there?</p>
<p>To an extent, it is, but that image seems a little embelished. But people here definetely surf, and there is plenty of alcohol and pot here on the weekends. The party scene, from what I've heard, isn't as crazy as it used to be because this year the cops in Isla Vista are cracking down more. But it's still a very good party atmosphere. The people here are pretty chill and friendly. I'm just jealous that I haven't been able to be a part of it yet. I was going to parties the first 3 weeks or so, but since then the people in my old dorm stopped going to parties in Isla Vista, and I haven't been to a single party here since. However, I must say, on the few occasions that I have gone to parties and/or gotten drunk, I've certainly made the most of those meager opportunities :)</p>
<p>tcolgate, what is the difference between rushing and pledging? And if I decide to pledge, is that where the crazy hazing stuff happens? Please describe the whole rushing/pledging process to me in a nutshell.</p>
<p>Rushing is when you go to different houses during rush week (next will be beginning of Spring Quarter) and talk to different people in the frat about everything (events, parties, sports, etc.) If they think you will be a good fit, then they will give you a bid. If you accept the bid, then you are a pledge. As far as hazing, talk to other people and find out their reputation. There are many frats that don't haze these days. Either way, rushing will be a good opportunity to meet new people (even if you choose not to pledge).</p>
<p>So if I rushed and found a frat that gave me a bid, and it was one that didn't haze, then how exactly would I end up getting accepted into that frat?</p>
<p>You spend a quarter as a pledge, then you get initiated. As a pledge you will find yourself doing some bitchwork, like some cleaning, but its really not that bad. If you find a group of guys that you get a long with and you feel comfortable around then I would suggest pledging. As a pledge you are not required to be in the frat and if you dont like it you can drop out. I rushed, not expecting to become a pledge and now I am a brother. Hope this helps</p>
<p>Do most frats accept the common app these days?</p>
<p>If you are rushing, then talk to as many actives as you can so you get a feeling for everyone. If you feel comfortable, most likely the borthers will too and you will get a bid.</p>
<p>I wouldnt worry about hazing. it probably still exists at most schools, but hardcore hazing is a thing of my dad's time, and its probably too risky for most fraternities to do it</p>
<p>join stuff... study groups, organizations, frats, volunteer... anything where you can sort of have common ground with people</p>
<p>When you're a pledge for the quarter, are you still allowed to attend that frat's parties and other activities? When you get "initiated", exactly what does that mean? And once you are in a frat, are you in only for the rest of the school year, or the rest of your college career?</p>
<p>Yes, you attend all the parties and you can hang out at the house whenever. When you get initiated, its just a ceromony they do to become an active. You have to memorize a preamble and know some stuff about the frat like what the letters stand for, stuff like that. Once you are in the frat, you are a brother for life... unless you choose to deactivate.</p>
<p>So what's the hard part about getting into a frat? At what point do you have to actually do the hard work, or if there isn't any hazing then is it just about being a pledge and the other guys liking you?</p>
<p>Getting into a frat isn't hard if you find the right one. The hard part is the time and commitment. For my pledge quarter I had meetings once a week for the pledges and then when the actives have their meeting, the pledges mop the fllor. We also had a pledge project and you do this to fix something with the house or make it better. There are events on some weekday nights, but they aren't required. I hung out with the actives all the time when i was a pledge and they didn't treat me any different.</p>
<p>This sounds really good to me, if it were to work out then it would be really awesome. But I'm still not 100% sure if it wouldn't be a bad idea for me to join a frat. I'm going to talk to my friends back home during winter break, since they've been in college for 3 years and I think a few of them have either pledged or are actually in frats, and see what they think. But if they are rushing here when winter quarter starts, and rushing only involves going to the different houses and seeing if I like them and if the guys in them like me, then I will definetely check that out.</p>
<p>Another thing: I heard that some frats require you to have a certain GPA in order to join. Is that true? If so, then maybe I won't qualify:(</p>
<p>I havn't heard of the GPA thing, but thye encourage you to have above the school average. Another bonus to the frat is they have test banks and you can look at told tests to study for midterms and finals</p>
<p>So would a lower than average GPA hurt my chances of getting into one, or would they not look at my grades when considering me for a bid?</p>