<p>Are you guys having trouble meeting people too? I mean, I'm meeting a lot of people in my classes etc., but those relationships aren't really moving outside of class. In regards to my floor, it feels like everyone is already buddies and i was left out because i was busy the first week running errands - any advice on how to remedy this? I leave my door open but people never drop in, etc. Im getting a little paranoid because the semester is already starting to build momentum and i dont want to be left alone! Can anyone offer some advice on being "proactive"? I seems like a no-brainer but i guess ive never been good at meeting people fast. Anyone having the same experiences? If so, we should meet up or something. Message if you feel the same way! Input/advice is very much appreciated!</p>
<p>Find an organization to join. E-mail the president of that organization. You will be on your way. Good luck.</p>
<p>It happens. Do what you can, real relationships cannot be forced.</p>
<p>helloimroberto - i know what you mean. im from texas and, while i meet people in my classes and think we're going to be friends (because that's how it's always been for me), the next class is not like that. people are glad to meet you, but nothing more. they don't try to move the friendship any further than a handshake. it's strange for me, because in texas people were so genuinely friendly. and i keeping thinking, what's with these people? it makes me miss my friends back home even more. i suggest really spending more time with your room and floormates. i've found two or three people on my floor (including one of my roommates) who i can really connect with, and hopefully these friendships will take flight. it will be difficult since these girls go home so often, but i'm doing the best i can. i still think that genuine friendships are probably rare here (apart from those who were already friends in high school, and there are many of those), but i suppose true friendships are sometimes hard to come by in large environments.</p>
<p>you have to realize, you know the people taht you've met here for about 2 weeks. you're not going to be able to have "true" friendships with them already at this point. You just keep meeting new people and see who you "click" with...</p>
<p>thats true. i dont know. i usually do well on my own, but its just seeing everyone in hordes going out/eating etc. - i just feel behind i guess. and the thing with me is, i dont like rushing relationship development, etc. i never though i would be homesick, but i think i am now, not for home, but for buddies! hopefully itll pass soon</p>
<p>same here roberto...</p>
<p>It is really hard to make close friendships on the Berkeley campus. Size, but other factors also, work against that. I struggled with that, & everyone I know did, also. There seemed to be an anonymity on campus that I found lonely. I tried to join clubs & organizations, but couldn't find any I was passionate about; & because the people in them did not share my interests, it's not surprising that I found no meaningful friendships there.</p>
<p>What worked, eventually, was finding activities that I totally loved doing & which met very regularly, & environments that I liked & going to those. The activity was on-campus, in the music dept., the environment was off-campus (religious). It's just like with dating: you find people who like to do the same things you like to do, & you end up having a tremendous amount in common & feeling very comfortable with them. People that I met from those 2 avenues became life-long friends, & to this day we are very close.</p>
<p>I don't remember a single person from even one class during my years there, even in the case of the smaller seminars. The intellectual interaction in the smaller units never promoted social interaction; that was my experience & the experience of others I know. There was a distance about the classroom atmosphere that I found alienating. I found relationships made through housing arrangements to be superficial & to go nowhere. But while the Macro never materialized, the Micro approach worked once I located opportunities where people shared my values. That seems to be the trick: find your little village within that big city.</p>
<p>roberto....what is your major? You should definetely find someone who is pursuing the same major as you so that getting through classes will not be as hard as people think.</p>
<p>I completely understand what your saying roberto, it's frustrating and makes me feel like I should have just commuted to school rather than stay in Berkeley.</p>
<p>believe me, i feel the same way. but think back to the very very beginning of middle school or high school or whatever...the kids i hung out w/ in the first couple weeks of 7th grade are not the kids who were my best friends in high school. it just takes time...</p>
<p>Why don't all you people who are feeling lonely at Berkeley get together?</p>
<p>Hey, I'm a freshman living off-campus and I can understand how you are having trouble making friends. I think meeting people through housing arrangements is pretty superficial (since these are random people and not necessarily people with whom you share common interests). Like previous posters, I'd suggest joining clubs. Also try to be more aggressive in building friendships. For example, if you think someone's interesting, get their phone number and set up a date to spend some time with them.<br>
On the whole I've found people here to be pretty friendly and receptive. At the same time I enjoy spending time by myself and meeting people with whom I can truly connect - not acquaintances to eat lunch with. So I'm not too worried about making friends; it'll happen eventually.
If I were you I wouldn't be too worried either.</p>
<p>its good to know there are others like me :-)</p>
<p>CutestCutie...cool, I didnt know there were other freshman who choose to live off campus! Are you living at home or in "alternative" housing?</p>
<p>I have my own studio apartment.</p>
<p>I've heard of a few other freshman also living off campus. They generally do so for financial reasons or because they delayed in submitting their res hall contract (my case being the latter).</p>
<p>"So I'm not too worried about making friends; it'll happen eventually."</p>
<p>I doubt this is going to just "happen," since it's a mutual relationship between two people, both needs to do something.</p>
<p>I've realized most people are hanging out with their high school friends. I asked my roommate one time when he is going out whether he is hanging out with old friends or 'new' friends. He says his old friends and his justification was that why should he lose his closest high school friends and instead go hang out with some new people. In this logic, that means that most people would rather keep their old friends and become even closer with them, rather than take the chance to meet new people who might not end up being friends with.</p>
<p>I guess it's hard for me to make friends because my closest friends aren't attending UCB like many others on my floor and I'm not the one that is able to keep a conversation going and going with some new person I've just met (besides the 'oh, what's your major, etc, etc'. I know some people who goes to UCB from my hs, but I've never hung out with them back then, so they probably won't accept me now and it will be awkward in many aspects (in fact, I really dislike one of them).</p>
<p>It also hurts when I try to make the move and meet a group of people when they keep their conversation going and leave me out. Anyone even experienced it knows how it feels. Gosh. It's nice to take advantage of this messageboard and talk about this to some group of people while keeping anonymous.</p>
<p>if you read my previous post, i did acknowledge that one has to be more aggressive to make friends here. but i still don't think it's overly difficult, but i guess that all depends on what kind of person you are...</p>
<p>good luck.</p>
<p>Indeed, that's something I need to improve on.</p>
<p>It doesn't just happen. Either someone has to take the initiative, or you have to bump into someone you know who will introduce you to some new people.</p>