Helicopter Moms Unite!

<p>My s is so angry with me because I am on CC....he called me a helicopter mom and I was totally insulted.....but I am beginning to question....am I and is it wrong to be discussing our kids on a public site or was I just wrong to let him know my username? :)
Comments please?</p>

<p>Same reaction when my D found I was here.
But after few months, she knew I (and she) can get some good advise and info from CC.
Now, she asks me to check CC when she has questions about college application.</p>

<p>Happykid thinks of this as a somewhat annoying, but essentially innocent, hobby of mine. She has no interest whatsoever in reading anything here or posting anything here. But then again, she is almost un-helicopterable and imperturbable by nature. I can see that some kids would hate knowing that their moms spent time here.</p>

<p>I’d suggest that you tell larkspur83kid that you will never post enough information so that he could be identified, and you won’t reveal his username if he has one. He knows that you can always come up with a new username for yourself if you want to, so there’s really no way he can keep you away from here!</p>

<p>Have fun!</p>

<p>Tell him that being on CC keeps you from being a helicopter Mom. If I weren’t on CC I’d spend a lot more time nagging my kid!</p>

<p>He monitors your internet use? Remind him that he is what we call a “helicopter kid”.</p>

<p>This thread is a bit redundant seeing as essentially every mom (there are exceptions) on this forum is a “helicopter mom”.</p>

<p>A pet peeve of mine is when teenagers feel they need to monitor parents online activity!!!</p>

<p>Seriously, if this is where you choose to spend your time, as long as you are not shoving info in their faces constantly, what’s the harm? </p>

<p>Seeking info is not helicoptering. It’s how you use or force the info that turns into helicoptering. IMO.</p>

<p>Honestly, kids post much more personal info on facebook with little thought to the fact that it’s relatively easy for people to find and pass along to others that they actually know. My kids know I discuss them sometimes on CC, but I’m sure they post some things about me on FB. I have no FB account, nor do I want one…it’s the biggest waste of time I can think of…at least they have derived some actual benefits from my CC time (aside from keeping me out of their business for awhlie).:)</p>

<p>DS just doesn’t get the female mom need to bond over a common life experience. Maybe when he is a parent then he will get it. This is my first college kid and I have gained very valuable insight on cc. In the meantime I am likely to change my username…cause I will have plenty to discuss once he is actually in school. So look for Proud Helicopter Mom as my new username.</p>

<p>musicamusica…he actually enjoys reading and then telling me that my english grammar and punctuation usage are totally incorrect. This has definately been “The summer before college lashing out because I am going far away and a bit scared of the unknown” syndrome. I recall lashing out at my mom before going away to college and I adored her. So I guess this is all part of the separation process. In case you are wondering…he rarely reads parent section…I was in trouble for being on “The College” website.</p>

<p>Larkspur, sure go ahead and change your name - but if he is watching over your shoulder that much isn’t he going to see that you have changed your name? Or does he visit CC himself and he is upset that you are on “his” message board???</p>

<p>So does using CC make me a helicopter mom? I’m getting more confused by the day on when to watch, when to listen, when to nag, when to jump in, and when to back off. I was raised by strict immigrant parents - they knew where I was all the time and had no problem checking up on me. On the other hand, they knew nothing about the college process and I had only one directive from them: I had to live at home, I was too young (and female - it was the 70s) to move out. So I did (it helped that we lived near NYC). I knew they cared and that solid base gave me the confidence to (eventually) go anywhere and do anything. It’s hard to translate that into my parenting. My only S is a rising senior, so it’s going to be a long year.</p>

<p>Joining the helicopter mom parade for sure! My DS is not on CC - or on much of anything as far as I can tell. Rising senior. We are headed out on major (and expensive!) college trip later today and he has done little reading/prepping, etc despite interviews coming up. Got a list of 12 things to accomplish from GC and worry only will get done with nagging on my part. Feel very torn between letting him be and letting chips fall where they may and pushing him to get stuff done!</p>

<p>POS means parent over shoulder.</p>

<p>Does this mean we have KOS?</p>

<p>My D finds my CC addiction mostly helpful, and also a little amusing. She has no interest in the site herself, but knows I get lots of valuable info from it, and is grateful for that.</p>

<p>Am I a helicopter mom? Who cares? All I know is I have a happy, healthy, well-liked, talented, fun-to-be-with daughter who loves me (and likes me, too). It doesn’t get any better than that.</p>

<p>At least I am not fighting mine to play Call of Duty. Now that would be scary for him.</p>

<p>Thump, thump. thump…</p>

<p>He rarely goes on CC…I made the mistake of leaving myself logged on and he knew my username for those rare times he asked a question or commented himself. Anyway…I fixed my mistake and now have a new identity.</p>

<p>Another question for experience college parents…how much contact with kids when in college is appropriate. For example, they want and are ready for the letting go process…so do we not call, text or email at all or wait for them to reach out to us? How would your kids answer this question. The temptation to text, call etc in those first fews weeks to just find out, “How r u doing”? will be overwhelming. Should I take up knitting? I do have a job…but acess to computer, phone etc…still easily available. Help!!!</p>

<p>I suggest you tell DS to refer to you as Checkbook Mom. You’re going to be writing checks totalling up to tens of thousands (or hundreds of thousands) of dollars. Or, you’re looking for ways to keep the total expenditure down. Why on earth wouldn’t you be doing due diligence on such a major investment? :D</p>

<p>Larkspur83 - I remember reading quite a few posts last fall regarding communicating with your kids. The general consensus seemed to be texting and if you can get a short text with the two letters “OK” then the parents were somewhat satisfied. My son is trying to convince me to get him the new Iphone G4 because it has video conferencing. (of course that means I would need to get 2 of them). His persuasive argument was this “mom, don’t you want to see my face when I am in college and I won’t use Skype in the dorm room, but I would go outside and privately video with you” Brat!</p>

<p>“Am I a helicopter mom? Who cares? All I know is I have a happy, healthy, well-liked, talented, fun-to-be-with daughter who loves me (and likes me, too). It doesn’t get any better than that.”</p>

<p>OMG your kid would be sooooo embarrassed to see that. lol</p>

<p>Being on CC does not make you a helicopter parent. asking people on CC how you should run your child’s life does.</p>